I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that can be hard on you, as well as your family. Again, our situations are even more similar. My dad lost his mom about three weeks ago. It wasn’t sudden since she was older and in poor health, but it was still a hard loss for him and he was coping with alcohol and drugs.
Have you tried talking to your mother about attending either AA or an alternative program when she does try to quit for a week or two? My dad was pretty stubborn about it because he unsuccessfully tried AA in the past, but we asked him to try a different program with different values (SMART Recovery), and he agreed to give it a shot.
For yourself and your family, I’m planning to try out a virtual ‘Friends and Family Support’ type meeting (Al-Anon, essentially). I don’t know if I will like it or what I will get out of it, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Good luck to you and your family. Xx