PeartreeGirl, I can empathise with you in different ways. The addiction is an emotional and financial burden, I feel that too, I used to work 2 jobs (7days a week pre covid). I don’t enable my bf directly, but I feed him and keep him. It is hard, where’s the mutually beneficial relationship here?! In my case there isn’t. We’ve come close to it, with covid we’re further than ever. In the feeling trapped in the marriage situation, I can definitely relate. The two situations don’t overlap for me, but I did walk away from a picture perfect life and marriage with a manipulative controlling liar who has the emotional intelligence of a 10yr old. – all of this was proven in counselling btw. Irrespective of the drug use, if your marriage isn’t working, you have the right to address that properly. It took for me to leave the marital home completely before my husband finally accepted the situation and agreed to attend counselling. I didn’t leave so as to force his hand, his lies literally got to the point where I couldn’t go home, I couldn’t pretend to everyone that all was fine anymore, but it was the catalyst for us to address the situation fully together. Are you taking any steps to secure your future if you do decide to leave the marriage? If not, it might be worth considering. I’d also really strongly recommend some counselling if you can get it, if you get a good one, it’s incredible. All may not be lost and in marriage terms I always think we are obligated to try, and to give the other person the chance to try, it does all sound very one sided in your case, what is he doing to improve the marriage? The decision to leave my marriage is still something I question sometimes now, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, it did and still does (to a degree) carry such emotional, circumstantial and financial burden, but we are not obligated to stay if it just isn’t and cannot work.
Sending you care and support, and reassuring you that you’re not alone. Xxxx