Coco1212, no way you have absolutely NOT yet your children down. Do the support and case worker both know how he’s begging you for money you haven’t got? Provided you don’t give him the money, if you keep saying no, provided you’re not putting yourself in any danger, surely he’ll have to stop asking at some point? If my bf says “can you help me out” and it’s clear what it’s for, I flat out say no every time and he rarely asks anymore. If he does I say no, I don’t even try and explain myself, he’s not stupid, he knows why I say no. Usually I take myself out the room, stare at him blankly and change the subject or I just hang up the phone.
Coco1212, you may think that you’re stuck in the same perpetual situation, but I know although it may seem that way, you’re not. Every month you learn something new, and time means change, either in big fast boom kind of chunks or slow teeny bits. Change is change and although I don’t know how things will change for you and for your situation, I know it will happen either way.
Is there at least any comfort in hearing what the support and case workers say, that is is determined, they must see a lot. He’s either a very good actor or they see something they’re genuinely positive about. I hope the latter xxxxx
Now that things are improving, I’ve decided to get my own place, somewhere new for me. My bf keeps talking as though he’ll be moving in. I’m finding it hard to tell him it’s my place. I’ve told him it’s to be a drug and smoke free zone. I don’t need to justify my rules to him, I’m a non smoker non drug taker, I actually gave up drinking last month (just fancied it, or rather went off it). My place, my money, my rules. If he wants to show up and contribute, that may change, although if I’m honest I’m not sure I want it to. What’s wrong with being a couple and living apart? I don’t want to upset him because I do still love my bf, but I want him to stay where he is. Maybe that will change in the future, but for now. What else can I do/say to be direct, but not dismissive. I just don’t know anymore xx