Hi holkat, welcome to the forum, no need for you to feel alone. Everyone on this forum has a loved one who has addictions.
It’s such a dilemma to be in…you feel you need to leave for the sake of your own mental health, but would feel you would be abandoning him in his hour of need.
I’m in a different situation in that, it’s my 28yr old son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. It’s a very stressful situation to be in. The ever changing moods, never having any money, us picking up the pieces and the debt constantly.
It sounds like he was definitely unhappy at his work, that doesn’t help, also losing a parent at such a young age. Poor man, he’s probably suffering from depression and low self esteem. He needs to admit he has a problem unfortunately , only then will he seek help. The AA fellowship are great, so supportive. My son is currently working through the 12 steps with them and is 80odd days clean.
He says it’s the only thing that works for him.
When your bf is ready, you can be there to support him , they need to know that they’re still loved despite their illness.
The adfam homepage offers support as does the Icarus trust, maybe a doctor could help if he has mental health issues.
Sending best wishes to you
Lx