Hi Nlnh
Welcome to the forum. Im sorry to read your story but it’s a positive thing that you realise that you have a problem and you’re seeking help.
I want you to know that people care about you and want you to get well.
I’m the mother of a son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. The alcohol triggers the need for cocaine. Then the drug messes with your head and it consumes you…..but only if you let it.
There is help and support on the homepage, also the Icarus trust posts here too. Please don’t feel alone in this, there are people who can help you.
My son reached out for help last year. He had a lot of debt, he was ill with worry, he too felt the way you are feeling.
He had to cut away from people who could influence him. He joined AA and CA meetings daily, doing the 12 step program, met some great people who all support each other, got a sponsor.
He watched videos of recovering addicts, did meditation to help with anxiety, let the doctor know what was happening in his life.
Not gonna lie, it’s been tough for him, he’s relapsed a few times, but this is normal. I’m proud to say he is currently 90 days clean. Feeling the best for years.
I hope there is someone close you can confide in, but if not, try the above support . All you need is faith hope, strength and determination. I believe you can do this. Read the other threads here there are many people in recovery offering advice and support.
Please don’t feel alone in this.
Always here to chat,
Lx