I didn’t message him no, within 20 minutes of returning home he texted me. ‘Oh my god, heart rending read, I didn’t mean I don’t know what meant wrong literally, of course I know. I’m going to write you another letter. I am burdened by what I’ve done to you. I am redoubling my efforts to get my caseworker to get my place in rehab sorted’
I just thought ‘how did he know to go down and check his box? He must have seen me walking away? Or someone else did and told him? There’s no other way. You wouldn’t go down and check your postbox on a Sunday, would you? God alone knows, he could have gone to collect a drug delivery for all I know.. it’s this sort of thing that sets your mind to churning and tortures you.
I imagine walking away from an addict that is a family member is hard.. although sometimes I think not as hard as someone you have a romantic emotional attachment to. But I think we all feel the same sense of hopelessness, that you can’t help the person, and it just leaves you feeling exhausted and heart broken.