Anon, one thing I have learned over the years is that life with an addict means no two years are the same. My boyfriend has calmed his addiction down massively, oddly, after years of me trying to fight it for him, or at least support him, I finally gave up and accepted who he is and what he does. It’s almost funny, but as soon as I stopped caring he became more positive and his use went right down. Asking yourself if you can cope long term, it sounds to me like you’re not having to try and cope, you’re already doing better than some, and seem very logical about it all, surely that’s proof to yourself that you can.
Focusing on your kids, yourself and doing things the right way is perfect, I admire you for what you’ve had to go through, well done for getting to such a point already. Well done for standing your ground.
Mixed emotions that you’ve postponed the wedding, sad for you not to be able to do it yet, but you’ve got your priorities right by cancelling/postponing it, I’m sure.
How are your kids doing in all this, are they ok? Xx