Thank you all for understanding yes times are very hard for me at the moment he was ment to be working today but when I got home he wasn’t there and all his work clothes were here I realised that he is obviously up to no good somewhere. Sadly I can’t control this your all so right he us an adult and just does what he wants has no care over my feelings and how sad I feel being pushed away for what reason I may never know as he wont talk to me without snapping back so I say nothing ask nothing. The children are my step kids and they live with there mother but they stay with us twice in a week, in one way I am greatfull they dont see their father like this but sadly he has walked out on us all before and trying to make up a lie to two small kids is heart breaking as I have no answer to give why their dad hits alchole and cocaine and runs away from us those that love him. I feel very alone confused and angre too at allowing myself to feel so low I am a loving loyal person to all that knows me and I am not going to change and having to live knowing that he may never change makes me feel very sad
