Coco, that is so good, I’m so pleased the test was clear and also that social services have closed the case, what a relief. You’re actually making progress during a pandemic. That’s a real achievement, I am so pleased for you.
I’ve become much less accepting of his addiction, less tolerant to his mood swings, and everything really, I think that gives him reason to lie, try not to rock the boat. He ignored me for soooo long, the same as when he’s on the crack, it felt the same, I had no reason to think he did anything other than the crack, he danced around the question, which left me feeling like he absolutely had done it, did nothing to reassure me, as always. Then comes back telling me it was only a lot of green. But by this time I was angry and feeling used again. Why do I bother trying to plan a better next chapter. I told him I’ve had enough. I really want him to step up and say he’s sorry and that he’ll try and work to build a better future together with me, but a big part of me thinks he won’t. I can’t bring myself to answer his calls, I feel that bad. I don’t want to give in, I don’t want to walk away, after everything of myself I’ve invested in our relationship, but I’m feeling I have no choice. It’s so sad.
Xxx