Hi Catsmum,
Welcome to the Forum, a place where you will find lots of Mums in the same, sad situation, but if it’s any comfort to you, it’s a great place to share your story and chat to people.
I am also the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), and I’m sure you will agree, it is like living in hell.
Never think this is your fault, although they have a lovely way of blaming everything on us.
I don’t know whether you have read any other threads on here, but read the Theresa one, there are about 6 Mums, all with Sons that are addicts.
Being able to come on Adfam has helped me a lot, nobody judges you, we are all in a similar situation.
Sometimes addicts in Recovery will respond on here and they truly understand what we are going through and are very helpful.
The situation also affected my marriage, but really you need to stick together and give each other support. Your Son will not get help unless he is ready too, do you think he is ready or wants to?
Take time for you and your husband. Hindsight being a wonderful thing, I wished I had found Adfam a long time ago, just to be able to chat with people.
Addicts only think of themselves, so perhaps you and your husband should start thinking about yourselves at the moment, it’s very hard, but small steps.
Please keep in touch on here, and take care.
Dx