Hey there, hope you are OK, don’t be thinking about taking your own life just think of the positives with your daughter. It’s not you with the problem. I’m sorry to say this but if your thinking this it’s best for you to move on ASAP and leave him to it no matter how much you love him. Let him deal with his own recovery. I’m 7 weeks clean now from coke and I have decided to join CA and that’s working for me so far. Has he not thought about joining?
You are right there is good in him, and it is a disease that takes over, it’s a vicious circle, and he probably does want to quit and hate himself for it. It’s just a horrible disease and addiction.
But if your thinking about ending it, you really need to start thinking of yourself. You have a daughter and a granddaughter who need you. Get back to Australia for a year or summat. I know I would do that lol. Hope this helps. Stay strong