Thank you Dot, yes that all rings very true, and I understand what you mean when you say about if something happens he goes to that every time, thank you for taking the time to explain that to me and like I have said your story is amazing to read and where you are now, unbelievably happy for you. I will step away for now and give him the space he wants and see if it changes his views on things. I think you are right I have possibly fallen into the trap of never outing his behaviour at the risk of losing him if that makes sense, he has never shouted at me or been violent he just vanishes every few months then comes back all sorry and never fully explains the extent of what is going on, I worry for him I really do 🙁 he has 3 children and they adore him
