Hi february Marie,
Thank you for sharing your story. You sound a very strong person and it takes real courage to stop enabling your son as you are doing. But this is really hard so if you would like some support for yourself please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support to families around those with addictions. if you contact us I will put you in touch with one of our Family Friends who would listen to you and offer you support. They are trained and experienced and would understand what you are dealing with.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.