yeh it’s a shame the police just can’t do enough to stop the dealers
I was feeling a lot more positive recently but started feeling shit again yesterday,
it was her daughters birthday yesterday,
I didn’t message to say happy birthday as I feel to bitter about everything, but part of me still feels bad that I am having to turn my back on the family, but I feel so utterly betrayed by them.
no doubt this will only further their image of me being the bad guy, but what about all the hurt they have caused me, why should I always be the one to rise above it.
I felt like they clearly don’t give a shit about me, when I left for the final time her daughter was to busy smoking weed in the garden to even say goodbye, and effectively its her that has caused all this anyway,
also, when I was getting my stuff the other week I saw her son and he couldn’t even say hello, so if that’s how I’m being treated then why should I make an effort,
I made the effort back at xmas and look where that got me.
everything is just taken for granted by the whole family, none of them seem to have any respect or appreciation for anything anyone does for them.
I could deal with my partner having a relapse, I couldn’t deal with the betrayal coming from within the house and her having a relapse at her own daughters hands, and perhaps one day her daughter will open her eyes and realise she has caused her mum to have a complete relapse and destroyed a relationship with someone that would do anything to help all three of them, was I really worth so little.
also, I saw my girlfriend had posted a thing on facebook about how she knows true love because she thinks she would be happy to see me with someone else that could treat me properly and accepting that she couldn’t so therefore seeing me happy means more to her than her own selfish desires.
this annoyed me too, as it’s basically admitting that she has treated me like shit yet she is posting that on there for everyone else to see yet she knows I wouldn’t normally see it as I rarely go on, and surely she should be saying some kind of apology to me, not some bullshit thing like that on facebook,
i felt like commenting on it saying “sadly I’ll probably never find someone else as I have had my trust and faith in honesty utterly shattered”
so yeh, this just got me thinking like mad yesterday and bringing back all the feelings of hurt they have caused me.