yes this is totally why I think she threw me away as it was harder for her to keep up the delusion that their isn’t a problem when we kept arguing about it.
its mad that they think the problem was the arguing itself, yet the reason of the arguments has only gotten worse since I left, so surely the kids should see that, that removing me hasn’t actually removed the problem, only they can now all pretend it doesn’t exist.
I went out for a big walk today so feel a bit better now, and had been feeling a lot better in general the last few weeks, it was just the birthday thing yesterday bringing things to the surface,
also another thing this week,as i have been sorting out all the things I bought home from her house, she had put all my books into bags, and as I was going through the bags I noticed a receipt from iceland in the bag, and this just confirmed yet another part of her deception as back when i first returned at new year I commented on how she has no money 2 days after she gets money yet the cupboards are all empty, she claimed to have done a huge shop in iceland, which I knew at the time was clearly bullshit, and now 2 months later stumbling across the £51 receipt only confirmed what I already knew.
this conversation happened in front of the kids and they seemed fooled at the time by her saying about how much they had eaten the last two days, I feel like showing them the receipt as proof of the bullshit that I have been sold out to, obviously I wont, but its so frustrating that I have been reduced to less than all these lies.
so there is case in point, argument over how she is clearly wasting money on drugs, me looking out for the kids as its them that wont be fed properly as a result of this, yet its turned round that i am somehow the bad guy in this, yet she is the one literally affording drugs through benefits that she isn’t using to look after the children with. and now without me there how exactly does that resolve this problem, clearly it doesn’t, it just means it is now even easier for her to waste money unquestioned.