Thanks, that’s reassuring. I just feel now though that every relapse is taking more of me away. In a way I feel ashamed that I’m not brave enough to pack my bags, I feel stupid trying to grasp at the future we had planned.
I know it’s crisis point with us now and I know it won’t always be like that but I can’t see a way out of it at the moment.. What’s the first steps back to normality? I can barely look at him now. I know he’s hurting now, but I can’t help myself guilt tripping him and telling him what a useless mess he is. I know it’s not helping but I don’t feel able to try be positive about anything. He just told me that he feels like throwing himself under a bus.