Sleeping beauty your are not selfish one bit so please please don’t ever think that. This is your life too! We all get one life and we have to put ourselves first. So many people spend their whole life putting people before them self’s and its got to stop. Your no 1 I your life and you have to do what’s right for you.
Your partner has to want this and unfortunately if she’s not ready then it won’t Happen. That’s the hard truth. I would have a chat with her, tell her how you feel and your thoughts. Let her know you can’t go on like this and she want her response is.
I really feel for you! It’s a very difficult and sad situation to be in ❤