hi debbie,
when my husband got found out in feb this year he told all sorts of nonsense to try and get out of it. they are lying to themselves as much as everyone else. they are not even in their right minds as they are either up, down or trying to work out how/when they next can get high. you have my utmost sympathy.
in the early days i made my husband drug test, for me it was the only way i could believe anything at all from him. gradually i saw him change back to a sober state. it took at least a month really as the main effects are quick but there is a range of longer effects like insomnia and exhaustion, moodiness and paranoia etc. i recommend reading up massively. it hurts thinking about it all but it’s the only way to really understand what they’re going through.
do you think he really wants to stop? or is he just saying what you want to hear? it sounds a bit like something my husband said… whenever anything happened if he used it was like a reset.. mainly if we argued he would use and then not give a shit… it makes them unfeeling and empty.
for me him using again would be a dealbreaker, i think you have to decide what limits you have for your life and be prepared to stand up for your boundaries.
as I’ve said before this life is very difficult and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone x