I have sat here reading this forum for the last half an hour and can relate to so many of the stories. I have been with my husband for nearly 4 years, married for just over one (second marriages for both of us). There have been a few times that I have discovered that he has had cocaine packages – more by him not hiding them well enough. He has been so remorseful each time. The second last time was a week after we married as it fell out of his pyjama pocket that I was tidying up. Again extremely remorseful. He promised me that he wouldn’t take it again but recently I became suspicious again as he was sleeping a lot through the weekend in the daytimes and staying up late and also being very condescending to me and blaming me for things and generally being in a bad mood so unlike the person I first met. I found it again but this time he shouted at me and making me feel guilty. Everything was a bit of a blur and once again he said he would stop and that he had been taking it again for 4 months. I actually don’t believe he ever stopped taking it ever since we met. I bought some cocaine test strips and have tested his wee in the loo without his knowledge as he doesn’t flush in the night to avoid waking me. I started testing before Christmas and the last one was today and every single one has tested positive. I haven’t confronted him and really don’t know what to do from now. Its tearing me apart and fills every waking hour of my life at the moment. He stays in London 2 nights a week for work and when I speak to him he is loving and caring but I know that he is still taking it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. As with most of us on here I am in love with my husband but don’t know how long I can continue to live this life as it’s tearing me apart x
