Hey bud, hope you’re okay man, like you said, Its a huge thing even just reaching out and admitting to yourself you need help.
Without sounding like the whole cliche “I’ve been in your position” thing. It wasn’t that long ago I was kinda where you are. I won’t go into my story but I was using cocaine almost daily and hiding it from my partner. The part that i think alot of people overlook is that sometimes, if your partner / wife / husband is unaware of your habit, it can be really hard to get help. Unfortunately I recently was caught and I have lost everything because the lies unravelled and she realised just how deceitful I had been for so long. But the point I’m making is, it will be hard to get the proper help you need without anyone realising. You can’t go to meetings or doctors etc too many times before someone wants to know where you are.
I’m happy to keep in touch with you man, I have alot more I’d like to say and I’ll help out in any way I can but honestly. No matter how hard it seems and I know its the last thing you would ever want to do. Consider coming clean to your wife. It will be tough but then you can put a plan in place, after the initial anger I hope she would be supportive. Please don’t make the mistakes I did and keep going until you are caught and its too late. Life and family are way too pressious to lose to drugs.
Take every day 1 at a time, remind yourself what you have in your life and what is worth fighting for. Be that man you know you are, the one you was before the drugs and be strong bro. It will be tough but I’m rooting for you.
Always here if you want to talk x