Ah I wouldn’t ask me about my plan of action lol. As soon as I know he’s done it most of the time I rage at him and it’s like arguing with myself. He didn’t come home yesterday and he’s still not back now. I put his stuff in the garage last night for him to collect when he feels like it but I don’t always feel strong enough to go through with it.
I can’t stand what he does, I’m sick of crying and beating myself up about it like it’s my fault. Every time I get angry or upset it just gives him that ammunition to use again after 2 and a half years, I’d love to be able to turn a blind eye to his coke use but I feel so tormented by it like it’s a form of punishment. It’s just seeped so deep into our lives that im looking for the strength to go through with letting him go now. It’s just so hard when you’re invested in someone and love them, I think it’s the feeling of ‘what if he gets clean’ and he’s no longer using how good would our lives be then. But it seems there comes a point where the damage is done and there’s no going back.
I think what you’re doing is helpful and choosing the time to talk to him about his problem is the way forward. If he doesn’t want to address it or seek help like mine, then I feel like they’ve made the decision for us in a way.
I just think it’s such a long process for them to stop what they’re doing that it will keep testing your patience but it has to come from within them to make that change x