hiya,
just popped by to say that my husband had several similar episodes when in active addiction… he thought he was having a stroke… like you he was on his own downstairs while the kids and i were asleep… unfortunately he didn’t have the courage to call out for help, even though he thought he was going to die right there in his room. when i found that out i was utterly horrified. i could have come down and found him dead, or worse – so could the kids. but still he couldn’t stop!
I’m traumatised beyond belief by this image.
anyway, once i knew the situation after he got caught i did a lot of reading and found out that on some occasions the use of stimulants can cause a thing called overamping… basically the poor body just gives up the goat temporarily… it can happen with excess amounts, or if you haven’t had much that day but have been hitting it hard previously, also when your general care has gone downhill… ie lack of sleep, decent food, dehydration and overuse of other drugs/alcohol too.
overamping does pass but it definitely is a clear warning from the body that it is suffering.
i wont repeat all the other persons comments other than to say, well done for acknowledging the problem and the need to change.
it can be done if you want it badly enough and you can repair the damage with your girlfriend.
good luck on your journey