Hi yes went home and didn’t really discuss it except he did seemed pissed off with me!!! when I asked a few questions. Woke up this morning feeling very deflated and don’t know what to do. The thing is that we had been getting on really well and I was beginning to think that perhaps we were getting through this. I’m thinking maybe we go on holiday – he seems to think there is no question that we’re not going by asking questions last night about it – and then when we are back I can reflect on things and see how things go. He said last time that he couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t do it again and I kind of accepted that but left him knowing that I didn’t want that and that it really affected me and our relationship. He 100% doesn’t think he has an addiction. The twitching in his sleep has coincided with positive tests and I look back on our relationship before we were married and even when we first met he would twitch a lot and it would keep me awake so he has been taking it all the time we’ve been together. Before I knew I put it down to restless legs syndrome and even brought him some pills to help. He said he went to the pub with his friend and he also did this a couple of weeks ago (so probably took it then too)but they both have strava and the routes that they took on Tuesday don’t match each others routes and I challenged him on this and he said look at my strava – he lies so easily!! I hate that I have no trust in the person I am married too. He said yesterday that it didn’t change him as a person but he can’t see that it does change him and my opinion of him. I was looking at him last night and feeling kind of disgusted with him and I suppose feeling sorry for myself that I had drawn the short straw and other people were lucky not to have this sort of person in their life. Yesterday at a shop there was a couple in front of me and looking very happy and all I could think was I bet he doesn’t take coke behind his wife’s back. I look at my friends relationship and none of them have this problem in their life. I am so so confused about what to do and any help would be so appreciated but I know you can’t tell me what to do at the same time xx
