Awful what you are going through. While you are trying to sort this out for yourself, know that you presently have many choices. Everyday. Small ones, big ones. The answers will come to you. What can you do about your finances that will provide you with some sense of security? (I put money aside that he didn’t have access to and no longer had his name on bank accounts or credit cards. Yes, we are married). When he says awful things to you – what can you do to help yourself not be affected by it at that moment? (I took our kids to the park, and went out to the show and saw a movie by myself that distracted me from what was happening with him). Make choices that help you feel better about yourself – not choices that you may regret latter. It took about 5 years until my husband confessed to using coke. I have never seen him do it. At that time he quit, just like that as I told him I would leave him. I had no resources, but I knew that I would figure out a way to get away from him – eventually. Just typing this makes me feel kind of sick. Decades later I am learning about the rest of it as we have recently started to talk about it. This drug turned my husband into a weirdo. It is heartbreaking, disturbing, and scary what happened all those years ago.
