I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through. I feel the same way. Even though we weren’t married, we lived like we were, and shared everything for 10 years. He was the only man I ever said “yes” to in a marriage proposal. I feel numb sometimes too. And then sometimes I feel like I can’t take the pain. I cry all the time. I’m a year out from his death, and had broken up with him 3 years prior, but never got over him. And he never got over me. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through, and I lost my first love in an accident when I was 18. I thought that was the worst. It wasn’t. Losing my ex to alcoholism was much worse. I know everything you’re feeling. I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better. I wish we all did. Just know that we’re here and we understand you. Many prayers and wishes of peace and healing for everyone here. ❤️????????
