Hi ladies- Lindyloo, Joanie, Lou, it’s so good to read your posts! I’m so glad that your sons are doing well, hats off to them! Jem, it sounds like your son is trying. I’m sure it’s harder than we all know for them to make these changes.
I’m glad to say that my son is doing well still too. I saw him today for lunch and he looked so good. We talked a lot about how’s he’s doing. He’s been sober for a few months, but to us, that’s so wonderful. He is seeing two different addiction counselors. He is actually taking responsibility for his life and where he is. My middle daughter is coming in town and she wants to see him and he’s so happy about that. My youngest daughter met us for a lunch a couple of weeks ago, and we kept it light and it went well. As you all recall, they haven’t spoken to him for a couple of years. I pray our family can heal- it’s been rough.
Addiction is truly a disease, and I do believe that in the beginning stages, there’s probably some choice in the matter, but when they get heavy in to the addiction, they’re fighting every day to stop and it’s so very hard. I told him today that I’m actually grateful that there is still some choice in this disease, because he was able to say, ” I can’t do this anymore”. He’s very apologetic. I told him this is a part of our life and we can’t bury it- we just have to live it and accept it and talk about it when we need to. Our journey continues and who knows what will happen?
I have learned so much from everyone here. There is so much strength here. When I didn’t think I could find the strength to set some boundaries, the stories of nannyger, Bump, and Penny who have had to make very hard choices to help themselves and their sons too. And making these hard choices doesn’t mean you don’t love them or are not a good mom. Lindyloo has always been of voice of kindness and reminded me that you can show them kindnesses in ways that you are comfortable with. And Kate1 really helped me change my whole perspective- that you can love them no matter what- even in their addiction.
For the ladies who are still struggling, we are all here together and it’s only possible to live in the day. What works for one person, is not even possible for another. We find strength in each other. We did not ask for this life, but here we are. Love to you all! ❤️