Hi Janet, welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story with us here.
All of us here are only too familiar with what you’re going through with your partner.
It’s a horrible illness to watch the person you love have an addiction that takes over their (and your) life.
Of course they will make you feel bad when you question their behaviour. They know it’s wrong so they turn the guilt to us.
You just want a normal life, alcohol/drug free.
I have to say though it really HAS to be their decision to seek support from AA groups.
No one can make them go unfortunately.
My 29yr son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, he’s thankfully one year clean thanks to these groups.
Please look after yourself in the meantime Janet confide in someone close if you can.
Read the other stories here -you will realise that you’re not alone.
Take care ❤️
Lx