Hi Bella pop, I’m sorry to read your story. I felt that you needed someone to reply to you.
It’s great that you’re husband is clean, but I know that recovery is really really hard in the first few weeks/months.
My 30yr son is currently 15mths free of alcohol and cocaine. I know it was difficult for everyone, every day is like a battle.
Your husband is trying to pin the guilt on you that’s what an addict does, his system is still trying to free itself from drugs.
I’m not sure how to advise you but, you need to let him know, that you will support him in his recovery, but this behaviour is unacceptable.
Have you read Kulstars story here on the forum? He is a person in recovery, very upfront and honest about the way he treated his family while he was using.
It’s a very emotional read, also he is helping other people to get support and offers advice and support to the families of addicts.
Please stay strong and try and stay positive for your own health and well-being.
Your husband needs to attend CA meetings regularly in early recovery. The quote my son was told ” 7 days without meetings makes one weak”
It’s really important that he sticks with their program ie getting a sponsor – going through the 12 steps , regular contact with the fellowship.
It’s a horrible situation but, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your husband needs to use all the strength he’s got to fight this devil that is cocaine.
Sending hugs ❤️
Lx