Hi DebC- thanks for your reply. It has to be so very hard to have them in your home. That’s at least one piece of it that I’m not dealing with. The stress would probably do me in. My son is 40 years old with a Master’s degree, and still trying for a PhD. He knows he can’t finish it, he’s too far behind. He’s basically continuing to take out student loans and uses that as income while he “tries” to finish his degree. He admitted to me a while ago that he was drunk through most of his Master’s degree and even when he took his Master’s degree test. He said he got one of the highest scores. His drinking increased when he went on to the PhD and things didn’t go well there. By the time he was student teaching, he was missing classes and students were complaining. One even said they could smell alcohol on him. He was on the hot seat and his family and I convinced him to come home, thinking being with his family would “save” him.
He thinks he does his best work when he is drinking. I personally think this latest relapse is him thinking that it is the only way that he can work on his dissertation. So foolish. His PhD is in Philosophy, so it’s not that he will land some high paying job if he finishes. There just aren’t that many jobs out there for his degree, and now he has a bad track record.
I’m glad that you are going to work on setting some boundaries for yourself. It does help- maybe not them, but it will help you. When my son finally runs out of money, I don’t know what I will do. I don’t think I can take him in. He lived with us many summers while in school and drinking and being lazy all summer. It was awful.
I don’t think my marriage would make it- he’s not his biological father and has less patience for it. The fear of homelessness for him is always looming. He says he’d rather be homeless than work at some “soul-crushing” job which is just ridiculous.
Just keep taking care of yourself. We’re moms, but at some point does this have to a death sentence for us? It shouldn’t.
Imagine- I’m so glad that your son is in a place where hopefully he can turn a corner. Take this time to recharge your batteries. Love to all. ❤️