I really feel for you, this sounds so hard for you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wonder how it would be if you were to have a conversation with your partner about his reasons/motivations for ceasing the drug use in the first place (years ago), exploring this (in a supportive and not non-judgemental way) might refuel that same motivation to be drug-free. Maybe also explore what sort of a future you would each like to have together. Things are hard when a loved one has been diagnosed with something and he may be feeling helpless, I wonder if counselling may help (and may be cheaper than cocaine with longer lasting results). I feel you may already know this but I want to remind you about the importance of knowing/maintaining your own boundaries, and to remember to take time for your own self-care; you’re going through the same tough time as him but without the mind-escape option and maybe (just a guess) with the main person you would normally turn to for support possibly being emotionally absent. Make sure you have sources of support for you. Does he want to change his behaviours/coping strategies? I hope you can find a way of striking a balance of being supportive of him, without being an “enabler” and while making sure you look after yourself as well.
