Hiya MLft.
I’ve just logged on and seen your post I’m so sorry to read what your going through because there is no pain like it . I am of the same opinion as Navy , if you can break free and go no matter how daunting the prospect of being a single parent is – please do it as you will be ok and your sanity and life for you and your children will be better- pull your support network in and do it for the future .
If some one 5 years ago said to me this is how my life was going to go because of my ex husbands choice of path I would never of believed it and laughed in their face . My ex still is in the thick of it , I cannot comprehend the person he has become , he lies about use before he has our kids and currently I’ve cut contact , our divorce has turned pretty awful by his demands ( his addiction has plummeted him into debt and I am the one on the receiving end ).
MLft did your other half come home ? Where are you up to at the minute?. Your stronger than you think you know ..
mine started disappearing to hotels for 9 months solid at the end of our relationship, 4-5 days straight in hotels using and good knows what else . £2k a week habit . I was left with our children scared , dealing with backlash of his wrong doings and trying to hold my job down and a front as I didn’t tell anyone until nearing the end of our relationship I’ve never experienced something so hear breaking .
it’s like he has died but I can still physically see him but it’s just not him – horrendous .
here with an ear if you log back on , sending hugs and strength – completely get where your at xxx