Hello
I’m checking in because I feel the need to be accountable – apart from my long suffering partner no one knew about my addiction … I’ve f***ed up (yet again). I made it to 31 days – the longest I’ve abstained in years and then I caved 2 days before Christmas. I’m so angry that I got so near yet so far… This time, my use escalated alarmingly quickly and 5N +(using the “just to take the edge off” excuse) a day, became up to 20 by the New Year. I tried again on Tuesday but have just given in and taken 5 (I’m too ashamed to tell my partner this time). I just couldn’t function at all, mainly because of the insomnia and restlessness. I tried zopiclone and diazepam but after a few days they weren’t touching the sides and I really don’t want to end up with a benzo habit to add this mess… As soon as life gets stressful, I screw up. I’m not sure where I go from here or if I’ll ever beat this thing…
Apologies for my private pity party and I hope everyone else is having a happier new year!
xxxx