Stay strong Lozzy – your building yourself together by the sounds of it and only you will know when you have got there .
i totally get the memories thing , I can’t handle looking at family pictures from the last few years when it was all happening and I was still in it. Sad thing is I will Look at his eyes in a pic and know now straight away where he was at – then I feel robbed of a false time and sad I was naive yet at that point I was so paranoid and constantly “on watch “ cause I wasn’t sure of the signs .
you will make memories again – but he may not be part of them. Sending hugs , take care xx