Ok numbness has been replaced with some tears this morning ????
Joni what you had said has twigged something inside me. I still have my mum, but shes getting old and frail…she is the only one I can turn to for support and a roof over my head so I can escape (he will never leave!) ..I went and stayed with mum before , years ago because of this crap but I stupidly went back to him… it’s dawned on me I am on borrowed time I need to reach out for support now before it’s too late…. The thought of not having my mum around has killed me this morning.
But I’m also torn …he has deteriorated back to being so out of his skull again which will go on and on now until a suicide attempt or something horrible … So do I leave when he is vulnerable ..even though he did nothing whilst he was sober for a few weeks to ensure this doesn’t keep happening ?….
Just so torn .
Just done some cleaning with nice smelling /cleaning products and will take a shower then dog for a walk …try get focused and back to calm and in control…that’s the plan..
Hoping all of you are ok ???? and sending positivity and strength to you all xx