I am sorry about what you are going through and understand how difficult it must be to trust your partner. If you would like to talk with someone who would understand what you are going through please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people like you who are affected by the addiction of a friend or family member. We have experienced trained volunteers who you could be put in touch with. This might help you to make sense of how you are feeling.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!
