Hi Koch, I completely understand where you are coming from, I have recognised for a while now that my husbands drinking is a massive strain on our marriage, he is very unpredictable when he drinks and is either very loving or a complete monster. There have been a few occasions where this monster has come out (including Monday this week) and the damage to the love I have for him seems irreparable. I still love him and care about him deeply but am “sitting on the fence” I can’t decide whether to stay or go. He has been working away this week and following our bust up he has recognised he has an alcohol abuse problem and even been in touch with a helpline. I myself called a helpline I found on drinkaware.co.uk and they put me in touch with my local counselling service, I have an appointment with them in a couple of weeks, I know it will feel great to get it all out. Even just taking the step to explain to someone on the phone has made me feel stronger in myself, they are not there to judge or tell you what to do but one thing that really hit home was that they said to me “it’s not just about the choices your husband makes, the choices YOU make will also have consequences” this has empowered me to take a huge step back and evaluate the situation. I have have been completely upfront with him, I have told him that although I love him I am undecided as to whether I want to be with him but that I do want to support and help him regardless of our relationship. We have had a couple of rocky months with one thing and another and I have had my share of coping with addicts but it’s different in every case and you have to do what is right for you and your son. If you feel threatened or are concerned over your or your sons safety there is help out there and accommodation available. Don’t suffer in silence and know that you are not responsible for your partners drinking or behaviour, it’s not acceptable and frankly life is just too damn short to be miserable. Hoping things improve for you x
