Hi Marigold,
Cant Take No More has given you such good advice and she really knows what you are going through.
If you would like some support for yourself The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports family and friends of addicts. We offer a free service called ‘family Friends’ who are experienced trained volunteers who you could be put in touch with and may help you to deal with the guilt that you are feeling. I know you said you have tried counselling but if you would like to talk with people who do understand what you are dealing with please get in touch.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!
