: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

296 threads

2044 posts

Husband using meth and I just found out by

I've been married 21 years. My husband was recently in the hospital. The doctors could not figure out what was wrong with him. No covid, just a touch of colitis. But his kidney's were failing and other issues. I was terrified that he was going to die. He was released on Wednesday as stable enough to go home. On Friday he said he was going fishing. That he felt good enough, strong enough, to paddle his kayak. On his way home he wrecked and totaled his car. Saturday morning I found his meth stash where he had dropped it on the floor and his pipe in a pair of wet "fishing" pants. I am truly undone by this. I had no idea. I feel so betrayed, lied to, made a fool of, etc. etc. I don't know if I can cope with this situation. I feel like I have been living a lie the past 21 years.

by Kirk87

2 posts

Does he even care by

My boyfriend is a lifelong crack addict. We’re talking daily use, to varying degrees, only been clean (or had a clear mind as he puts it) maybe a couple years out of 32ish years. He’d convinced me that his age (he’s near 50 now) means he needs and wants to retire from it as he puts it. I try everything to encourage him to make better choices, sometimes he does, but every day with minimal exceptions, he uses again. We are now in a unique situation. He told me at the weekend he’s going to give up for 27days, or he’s a “prick”. I don’t dare ask anymore, but judging by his raging moods, he’s done it. Since then we’ve bickered, he’s tried, and succeeded, to make me jealous, he’s told me he’s questioned our relationship, also at one point he said he didn’t consider us a couple that we’re not together anymore. I’ve told him how much I love him, but all he responded with this time was he likes being with me. He also said that he tried to not call me, but had to. I did pull him up on the jealousy thing, but I think to some degree, sometimes he doesn’t listen or acknowledge me because he can’t accept how bad his behaviour is and would rather block it out. Part of me thinks now he’s gone cold turkey, which I don’t think was a good idea for so many reasons, that he’s now incapable of any positive human emotion. Does anyone believe an addict can experience positive feelings of love and appreciation of their partner if they’re a few days/weeks off the crack? For the first time in our relationship, I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I moved in with my elderly mum before covid, and she only worries if I spend too much time with him, so I visit him at weekends. This week he told me he hates me during the week, he doesn’t feel like he’s in a relationship. For the most part, he’s stopped reading my texts, stopped talking to me on the phone, stopped asking me how I am. Partly I think he’s so disgusted by his behaviour, for how much he relies on me, that sometimes talking to me only forces him to be aware of his failings and shortcomings. It’s almost as though he can’t face me, except when he needs food, or is having a cash flow problem. Does he actually care, or is he just using me? I’m fortunate enough to be in a lucky financial position. I worry now that even if he doesn’t love me anymore, he’s only doing the bare minimum to keep me happy. Part of me is starting to loathe my feelings for him, I’m not one to give up, I’ve been tempted to walk away, but in some ways I know that ends I do, I’m strong enough to ensure I never go back. Insights and opinions welcomed please x

my journey with a crack addict by

Hi Guys, I found out a few months ago my boyfriend is taking crack (and to me, is an addict in denial). He has pawned stuff to get it... uses weekly... I've been on a STEEP learning curve and think I've done well to be where I am (all things considered). I don't write this for advice, but if anyone sees themselves in what I write, it may help them. I will make it as short as possible and simply give ... my journey. * Found out partner was on crack cocaine. In shock for a few weeks. * I trawled streets, tracked him down to drug flats, roamed the streets late at night, put myself in danger numerous times, confronted drug people.. * I tried anger, threats, demands, emotional blackmail... tears.. guilt... shame... nothing made him stop. * I stopped being angry. I stopped taking it personally. I started detatching myself from it. * I've had constant ups and downs - days I would contact him and beat myself up for being weak. Then I'd be strong for a week or so, and let him do what he wants to do. Then I'd worry he was dead or OD'd somewhere and contact him. It's a cycle. If I didn't contact him, he would contact me. My last low point my birthday. I'd spent £100's on this man. He couldn't even get me a present. When I think of the thousands he's spent on that crap. Eventually when he had a period of sobriety, he gave me a present and card... them lapsed a few days later. * I've confronted one guy who won't leave him alone. It causes a massive argument and I left. When my boyfriend used the evening, he blamed me and called me a 'F***ing C***.' So I am now on the end of his anger and abuse. I walked out (luckily we don't live together). I haven't contacted him since. I don't really know what stage I am at now. I don't even know if I can say we are together. I am a realistic. I expect the worse and he has never let me down so far - with his using and pathetic excuses and apologies. But I feel strong.. stronger every time.. until I hope to get the point where I walk away for good. I see nothing but misery and futility with an addict.. and wonder what others' experiences are. Thanks for reading x

My partner is a cocaine addict by

I found out recently that my partner has been using cocaine heavily for around 18 months he has used it since he was 15 but has only recently become a real issue. He is now 30 and we have 2 small children, He has had had a lot of drug debts recently and Is spending pretty much all of his wages on it. He leaves empty drug bags around the house and I recently found one in the hallway with a bit of coke init and my daughter had been playing out there on her own so could have easily picked it up. I just find his behaviour so selfish he is always always moody and can’t be bothered with his children basically just sees it as my job to do everything around the house and look after them while he drinks gambles and takes coke. Never has any money for food shopping or for the children so I struggle to pay the bills, buy food along with clothes and other stuff for them. I am basically left with nothing for myself while he is blowing all his money on rubbish. We are now struggling to pay the rent as he keeps spending whatever money he has on it, he has also had to borrow money off his friends (hundreds of pounds that he still owes them) I am worried about the future and for my children as want them to have a nice happy home with both parents but only see this problem getting worse. We argue constantly and I feel like he really doesn’t care about me or how this is making me feel I try to be understanding but he just carry’s on like it is normal and seems to enjoy it all to much to stop.

Alcohol and son by

Hi My son is 19 and living with us in family home. When he drinks with us he is fine, no problems at all. When he goes out with mates he has a couple of drinks then starts making terrible decisions. The last one resulted in a suspected psychotic episode. He stopped for 7 weeks but first time he went out again, loses phone, wallet, lies about where he is, chasing drugs. So my main question for now: As parents should we say its ok to go out/drink with us as it causes no (direct)problem. Or is it better to not encourage alcohol at all? My worry is if he “craving” a drink he will just start the cycle again. We stopped drinking in house as we didnt think it fair on him if he had quit, 10th week coming up. Opinions please?

by DL5

5 posts

Alcoholic mother - loss of mental capacity by

I am looking for advice. My mother is an alcoholic. She has been dependent on alcohol for about 17 years now, and about 1 year ago began to show signs of loss of mental capacity. She is now at the point where she can no longer drive, take care of herself (washing, eating) or retain short term memories. She suffers with depression so won’t accept help and does not believe she can get better, let alone think she is deserving of help. She won’t leave the house or answer the phone. She spends every day in bed, drinking. She drinks approximately 6 bottles of wine a day, sometimes more on bad days. She barely eats. I cannot seem to get support from her GP. He won’t prescribe anti-depressants due to her alcoholism, won’t refer her for a mental assessment because of her alcoholism, yet she won’t stop drinking because of her depression and because she doesn’t have the capacity to do so. She’s been referred twice to an alcohol & drug addiction service which she won’t attend or answer calls from. I don’t know where else to turn? It seems absurd that there is so little support for somebody in her position? I understand that somebody needs to WANT to get better to accept support, but surely when somebody does not have the mental capacity to seek help action needs to be taken? My brother and I are wearing thin trying to take care of her whilst managing our own lives and I feel we’re at a dead end. I don’t know what to do. I’m just watching her slowly die.

Benzo withdrawal timeline/seizure risk by

Any advice on seizures for benzo withdrawal, never take more than .25 mgs a day but have been taking that multiple times a week for 7-8 months, pretty much no more than 2 weeks straight on with a day to few days break in between but really haven’t gone longer than 2 weeks off, basically just trying to stop without having a seizure, am I even really at risk at this low of a dose, or is the time factor making me susceptible still, just don’t want to stop and feel good and then randomly have a seizure In a week-month from now

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