: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

132 threads

1031 posts

I'm ending my relationship due to drinking by

Hi, I just need some support as although I know I'm doing the right thing for my family I feel guilty and I'm worried for my boyfriend, after a talk on monday he said he wouldnt drink in front of our daughter that he was having a few weeks off and he wouldnt drink again until a stag weekend at the beginning of Oct that me and our daughter were more important and he could see she was being distant with him (always coming to me because I'm the one that's always there, he's really loud when drinking so she's a bit scared as she thinks hes shouting she also doesnt like it when he smells of drink so avoids him plus he let's her down alot by saying hes going to take her places then just leaving me to take her because he'd rather sit at home drinking alone) anyway come Friday and my mum was looking after her so he came home from work with the usual excuses, shes not at home tonight, it's been a long week, I want to spend some time relaxing etc anyway I'm past caring so dont even bother arguing but again he sat up all night drinking when I got up at 9am on sat he was still drinking continued all day, i went out about 11 and returned at 3 he was still in the same spot in the same clothes drinking even though I'd asked him to sort some things while I was out just a few simple things like asking his ex if he could have his son next week for daughters birthday party and take the bin down but he done nothing, the drinking continued even after I picked up my daughter at 4.30 he then spent the rest of the night complaining that he was being ignored and he felt like the invisible man that she'd only cuddle him when he asked he refused to let her have her favourite things because she was being rude to him, when I said it because your drunk all I got was you blame everything on my drinking but it's true hes lost all his friends and family due to arguments hes started when drunk my family dont like him because the amount he drinks he doesnt get invited on work nights out because of his drinking the only person that doesnt see his drinking is a problem is him I've now decided I need to leave, i need to do what's best for my daughter I know it's going to be difficult to get him to leave and he'll fight me all the way it's going to be very stressful I also dont know where I stand with contact with lo as he will expect me just to hand her over but I dont want to leave her alone with him, i have videos of him passed out and a diary of the amount hes drank over the last month I want to insist on supervised contact until he can prove hes capable of being sober when he has her but I've no idea where to start I suppose what I'm asking for is some reassurance I'm doing the right thing and if anyone has any help or info regarding how to safeguard my daughter while still maintaining a relationship with her dad? I know it's not going to be easy but any advice to make it as painless as possible would be greatly appreciated thank you x

1 post

Does cocaine make you more likely to be unfaithful? by

I don’t know if this is a silly question, but me and my husbands relationship has turned toxic, through the damage that his addiction has done. The lying about using, me throwing him out etc. I’ve caught him (usually when coming down) masterbating to porn, he says it’s bevause you just want something to do with your hands coz your up all night, but you can’t usuallly finish because of the coke. (TMI sorry! But he never used to really be into porn before his addiction began, I’ve heard coke makes you horny so I’m just wondering could that be enough to make you cheat if you wasn’t that sort of person sober. He says you still know what you’re doing and that your married etc, but he’s told other women that they are attractive etc which again is out of character but he says it’s more of an attention thing as he feels like crap and thinks it’s only a matter of time before I leave him.

by Vixen

24 posts

Lying husband by

I guess I'm probably not the only one on here who has issues with their alcoholic husband lying? We have been having issues since we had a baby last year, I grew up and he didnt and all the responsibility is on me. He was too drunk to take me to the hospital and then failed to bond with our baby. He then drank more and more, over 100 units a week, stopped working hard and created lots of financial issues. I had a good career but childcare is so expensive and I always dreamt of being a stay at home mum. And the house we live in is my house, I've worked really hard to get to the position I am in now but my husband has thrown away our financial security to drink. The lies just hurt so much. He bare face lies about drinking, I catch him in the pub when he claims to be at work. I think the worst bit is he's trying to squash me and my spirit so I don't challenge him over his drinking. I feel taken advantage of, like it was OK for me to be confident and successful when he got to enjoy the security I've worked for but as soon as I'm reliant on him it all changes. He doesn't treat me very nicely, acts like he is completely indifferent to me, doesn't give me any emotional support. I feel like he's trying to break me down as a person, like he wants to make me a doormat so he can carry on drinking. He loves our child, but not enough to stop drinking. We have split up over it, I've thrown him out, he's promised to quit and then I just catch him out lying again. He only accepts he has a problem occasionally, other times he tries to say I'm over reacting or that it's just a bad habit he has got into. I'm not even sure what I am posting for, I just want to know somebody, somewhere understands. How do you cope with the lies? When do you say enough is enough? And if they lie about drinking, do they lie about everything else?

1 post

Life after living with an addict by

Hi all, I have been with my boyfriend for two years, we bought a house last year. I was aware that my partner used to take drugs (mostly cocaine) when we were younger on nights out. He went through a tragic event several years ago and it sent him off the rails. However, he seemed to be a lot better and eventually got with me a few years later. We were very happy together! He started a new job, we moved into our new home, everything was falling in place! Little did I know, he started turning to "cocaine" a couple of months ago. I noticed a massive change in his behaviour but could never put my finger on what was the problem. A few months later, all the sneakiness etc came out...he had been taking cocaine for months, hadn't been going to work occasionally (when I thought he had), getting himself into debt. His family where aware of the situation but no one ever told me. I remember being so heart broken and upset that my life had shattered. This was the man I wanted to marry, have children with etc. He completely broke down. A few weeks later, he came to visit me (he was living with family at this point) and told me he was going to turn his life around. He said he completely lost his way and struggled to deal with daily stress, work, bills etc and that he loved me deeply. We are now friends. He is now in a drug and alcohol programme and is touching on 60 days clean. He is making good progress and I have recently been to visit him. We aren't together at the moment but have said we never know what the future holds, whether we remain friends or get back into a relationship. On the other hand, I am struggling with his family, I don't think they want us together as they feel that I make him worse and always ask me why didn't I notice the whole addiction etc. They no longer speak to me. I had to adapt to living on my own and juggling a mortgage etc with no support. I felt completely alone. I am now doing a lot better in myself and talking to people a lot more. Silly of me to say, but I still have feelings for my ex, we chat a lot and support each other where we can. He is very understanding and has said the ball is completely in my court. My ex and I arranged to meet for the first time a few weeks, he asked his family to not be there, however, they arrived anyway. I need advice on whether to walk away from the situation for easiness or continue to meet and speak to my ex?

Drugs alcohol depression by

Hi this is the first time I have posted anything like this my bf has suffered depression pretty much most of his life we met 15 months ago and not long after we met he told me all about himself which was hard for him but We got close pretty quick and he trusted me enough to tell me everything about his past and his depression after 3 months of being together he moved in with me we sorted all his debts out together as he was a heavy drinker he then got himself back into work and things couldn’t of been better then 8 months ago things started getting a bit rocky with are relationship I knew something was wrong he just kept blaming his depression I stood by him and supported him to cut a long story short I have just found out he is using cocaine I am in turmoil I approached him a couple of days ago we need to talk and sort things out he keeps putting it of and I don’t want to push him due to his mental health I don’t know what to do would be grateful for anyone’s advice thanks

Codeine abuse? by

I’m currently going through a reduction regime as I became addicted to Codeine about 10 months ago. I started the reduction on 28 30mg tablets a day and I’m now on 5. I was just wondering whether it is normal to feel some sort of withdrawal? Even though you’re still taking it? I reduce 30mg every 2 weeks so it is a slow process but I can feel the difference. Im also afraid I’ll miss the feeling of the euphoria which I tend to crave and I don’t want to end up relapsing. I’m just looking for support to help me towards realising that being under the influence of Codeine doesn’t need to be my way of life. I became addicted to codeine because I endured a traumatic birth of my daughter and ended up with a second degree tear of the muscles in my birth canal then followed by various infections which were incredibly painful. I was stitched up and prescribed Codeine for the pain and discharged the next day. It was then that I realised that it took away and masked post natal depression and made me what I thought feel happier and less tired. And obviously as I grew tolerate to opioids I felt I had to keep increasing the dose and it just escalated from there. It’s not a way of life I want for myself but I find it difficult to imagine life without it ????

11 Days cold turkey from codeine and doing ok! by

Just wanted to put out there my story and gain any advice that people can offer me. been addicted to codeine for 5 years now and have known for ages that i had to stop, and recently ive been attempting to taper but after so many false starts where i would cut down to 5 a day etc i would cave and jump up to my more regular dose of 12-15 30mg tabs every night. i have been on the sick from work following knee and elbow surgery and I have worried lately that this would eventually affect my marriage and end up losing my family etc as i would normally sit up till 2-3 am feeling euphoric while my wife would go to bed at 10 ready for work the next day thus meaning our physical relationship has suffered. however i had not planned to go cold turkey as the fear of withdrawels petrified me. for a reason unknown to me i suddenly decided to stop on 1st of march (this had not been planned). It had coincided with me suffering a very heavy flu like cold which had started before i stopped the pills. however after the first 4-5 days in and whilst i felt relatively drained as though i just had a heavy cold but had no real desire to collapse back onto the drugs. my main symptoms at that point where lethargy, a bit loose on the toilet, feeling fluey but not too bad. a bit emotional thinking about my children and grandson (but this actually helps as i keep telling myself that i will be able to be a far better granddad to my 2 y/o grandson who idolises me and me him.) a bit insomnia waking up about 5 but lying awake till morning. other than this i hadn't felt to bad at all and what was strange is that in the past when i have just gone one day without the drug the withdrawals were awful and far worse. i am unsure why this time i felt relatively OK . luckily my appetite had not suffered at all so i have been eating well, juicing healthy fruits and eating veg, taking vitamins etc through out, so i can see the benefits of ridding my self of this drug. I am now at day 11, i have not had any relapses and i am happy to say that i have disposed of all of my remaining codeine (over 200 pills) and also spoke to my gp to remove my repeat prescription therefore my supply is stopped. Currently still doing very well however still have a few remaining issues with looseness on the toilet, and feeling very very lethargic almost like i have spent a full day in the gym, my sleep is still broken. but life is slowly returning to normal, I am back at work tomorrow but whilst feeling a bit anxious i know that this will help me and will probably help with my sleep as i will be back in a routine. I would love to hear if anybody can give me some ideas as to when the fatigue will start to end. i am being sensible and doing a little exercise as im aware my body will be weak at the moment so not over doing anything. I am so proud of where i am at and others in my situation should feel confident you can beat this too. Good luck and thanks for reading this N X

by Gaz87

8 posts

A shock by

A couple of months ago my son posted a life stream on line, he looked so thin and was clearly in a difficult phase. I had been preoccupied for a few weeks with my father being very ill in hospital. I took him some food the next day and was met by 3 of his friends at the front door expressing their concerns for his mental health. I then clearly saw he was in a psychosis phase. He agreed to go hospital but only to prove he was well. After hearing they wanted to do a mental health assessment he ran away.....to cut a long story short. Finally with a section placement in place he agreed to home treatment. Three months on and two other mental health assessments I’ve been told it’s not a mental health issue but a drug issue. He does nor want any help at this time, his life is destructing around him. He has lost his job, no longer allowed to see his children, about to lose his home. No support service in place and I don’t know what to do next. He phones me every day....talks so unrealistically about his plans and if I try to reasonalise anything he gets so angry with me. Any advice/ support welcome

by Huddle

7 posts

My codeine addiction by

I am a 28 year old, female and I have been addicted to codeine since 2012, and this is my first time ever admitting it to anyone. No one knows, I'm good at hiding it. It all started after surgery in 2012, I was given codeine to help with the pain and I then started buying it online. I got to the point where I was taking 12x 30mg tablets 4-5x daily. Every single day! That's 1800mg a day and some days I would even take more. Some days I'd take 2500mg. The thing is, I like taking it, I'm functional on it and it makes me feel happy, but I'm so determined to stop. I'm in so much debt that it's all I can think about, I must spend £700 a month on codeine and it's disgusting. It's time to stop. I'm tapering down. I have 112 tablets left to taper down from and I can't afford to buy anymore either. Does anyone have any advice on how I can cope with the withdrawal? I'm so f***ing determined to get my life back. I'm taking citalopram (prescribed) and multivitamins. I got down to 9 30mg tablets 4x daily and now I'm on 7 30mg tablets 4x daily. My plan is to go to 6x4 tablets tomorrow, 5x4 the next day, then 4x4, then 3x4, then 2x4 and the 1x4 and then nothing. I know this is fast, but like I said I just can't afford to buy anymore now. So far I feel okay, somehow. Any help, advice or support would be greatly appreciated. I really need some help right now. Thank you