: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

374 threads

2733 posts

Addiction to cocaine by

I just left my boyfriend of 4 years due to his addiction to cocaine. I’ve been on here for the past couple years just reading and never posting much. We share a child together and he has another child from another relationship who I consider to be mine so this decision wasn’t easy. I found out my boyfriend was an addict a few days before finding out I was pregnant (my son is now 2). It all started when I found a bag of blow while sweeping our patio with a rolled up bill. I was livid as his daughter was 2 and a half at the time. He reassured me it was his friends and as upset as I was I had no reason to not believe him. I couldn’t get over that day something just didn’t sit right so a couple months later I snooped and found out he failed a drug test for work and that’s why he stopped working up north ( he told me he wanted to be around his child and me more) and a few days later I found out I was pregnant. I was confused and scared since I didn’t want to be a single mom but the more we talked the more I believed he wanted to change. It’s been an up and down ride with nothing but lies. I finally left last may and in aug he said he was going to get clean and do meetings. He was clean for 5 months and I moved back in when he was on month 3. Long story short he started drinking again in January and the drugs started happening right away. One night he didn’t come home (he’s done this before) but something felt off this time so I checked his phone records a few weeks later and found he had called an escort a few times. He denied everything but deep down I know the truth so I left again. He says he wants to get clean and I want to believe him but I can’t anymore. He said if I loved him I would of never left. He went from understanding as to why I left to now shifting blame saying I would still be by his side. As he’s saying this I’ve been getting messages from other girls saying he’s been trying to contact them. I’m confused why he is messaging me saying he wants to be a family but he’s doing this? Is this normal behaviour of an addict?

by 68862

6 posts

How to feel about it? by

I am really interested to learn what others views are on this, whether or not this is an area for debate or I am just thinking about it all wrong! Do you treat the addiction in your loved ones as an illness or a choice they make? I have always been of the understanding that addiction is very much an illness, yet many people relate to it being choices the person is making. I struggle very much with how I feel about my partners drinking and how to respond to him. Should I be sympathetic or annoyed? Should I continue trying to help and support him, or is he making a choice to lie to me and continue drinking? Is it one or the other? Or a bit of both? I feel completely confused and lost as to how to feel about it all and I would be really interested in hearing from others on this as I am really struggling right now. Thank you.

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

So it’s nearly 4am and for the second night I’m in bed and my boyfriend is downstairs awake. I know he’s done cocaine. He thinks I can’t tell but who would still be up now. It’s obvious he just can’t sleep because of it. He was up all night last night and slept all day. I feel like I’m single. I can’t seem to break myself out of his cycle. I have never taken drugs but I can completely understand his situation but the broken promises and the debt I’m now in because of this. I am now depressed. I had counselling as I thought it would help me to help him but I can’t afford that anymore. He tells me he will get help and writes these lists to say he’s helping himself but nothing happens and it just gets worse again.

Day 18 cold turkey from codeine and starting to feel like myself by

Just thought I’d put up a post for anyone who’d like to comment or discuss their opiate withdrawal/addiction. As the title says I’m currently on day 18 and starting to feel more like my normal self. I won’t lie it has been fairly difficult but just so people know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The early physical withdrawals are the easiest part believe it or not as it’s nothing compared to the lack of motivation and energy you feel thru out so basically a mild depression. In the first week I thought I’d never get better I couldn’t do anything at all, I couldn’t tend to my 2 children, I couldn’t do any housework, I couldn’t do my job properly, I basically couldn’t get off the settee to do anything and I just thought this sad no motivation low mood was never gunna end but it does guys ! For the last few days I’ve been slowly getting better, I can tend to my kids I can do the housework altho it does tire me out and my thoughts are much happier now i can see myself slowly becoming my normal self again. Don’t get me wrong it is only day 18 and I’m still not sleeping 100% and I do still lack motivation but compared to 1 week ago I am so much better and so could you be. All the best guys and I hope this post helps just 1 person battle thru. I visit this forum daily so I will reply to anyone that wants to chat or swap stories or ask questions etc. :)

by Dadict

10 posts

Healing and moving forward by

The longer I have lived in separate places to my alcoholic partner the more I am healing. I have absolutely nothing. He persuaded me to give up my job as he is a high functioning alcoholic. But the years just went by. My self esteem and confidence plummeted. Now I am having to start over. It is very scary. But I know I have to do it. After years of gaslighting wearing me down, he finally went into rehab. He was so lovely to chat to in his recovery during the six weeks in rehab. Now he is out and staying at his parents. And chatting to him now- I know he has relapsed. It is heartbreaking but I need to move on now. But I also feel stronger in myself to move on.

by Leda

2 posts

Partner drinking by

Hi all. I’m here about my fiancé, who is drinking and has anxiety issues. We’ve been together 24 years and we’ve always been really close. He’s such a good man. He’s always enjoyed a drink and would drink around 4 cans a night in the week and more of a weekend. Last year, he had a breakdown. This was a result of losing my Dad, a close friend and work stress building up. I also think that work increased the stress/anxiety. He was off work for 7 months with anxiety and depression. The citalopram helped his depression, but he still got some anxiety. Alcohol didn’t mix well with this medication, so he was told not to drink. He tried shandy’s and you could still tell on a small amount. Before christmas, he’d gone out in my car for food and broke down. The police stopped and he was over the limit. He got a ban and fine. His anxiety leading upto the court case was horrid. He was drunk christmas afternoon and slept all through the meal and presents. I’ve been finding bottles of rum around the house. He doesn’t even drink much and he’s drunk. He sneaks them in from the shop. We’ve had so many arguments and promises it won’t happen again. His mom even got upset, which hurts him and yet it ends up starting up again. He’s back at work now and it’s seemed to help and he was more his old self. I continued to find bottles. I get maybe a few hours with him after he finished work, and then he’s either asleep, acting weird, or had a drink. The times I’ve been worried that something is wrong with him because he’s acting so strangely. Now, he’s off work with what’s going in the world. He had to self isolate for a few weeks, and due to my health issues, I stayed with my mom. The first week, I went home and spoke to him through the window. He looked an absolute wreck. The second week he seems more himself, but he kept watching the news and getting anxiety over his health. He was poorly and had an ambulance due to symptoms, which is obviously worrying being alone and with similar symptoms to covid. The night before I was due back home, he started having delusions. For three nights, he has psychosis. Delusions, hallucinations you name it, it was terrible. We got no sleep at all and the mental health team said they believed it was alcohol withdrawal as he said he hadn’t drank for three weeks....I’m not convinced, but I can’t say how many days. He’s now drinking a lot. He’s getting up in the night and coming downstairs to watch the news and drink. He is anxious over his health and has gotten upset. I’ve never known him raise his voice like he’s been doing. The Dr gave him zopiclone to help him sleep, and diazepam. I feel so lost. I’m losing him and I’m starting to feel numb to it all. It’s like having a child! Al-Anon recommended that I ignore the bottles which is so hard, but a relief in a way. I’ve tried contacting his old counselling team, but they’re closed since the corona. He has a phone call on the 15th from the alcohol team. I would have left if it wouldn’t have been for him saying he will have help. I just can’t see it stopping now, I really can’t. If he doesn’t take the help, or doesn’t do as they say, I don’t think I have any choice but to leave and it’ll break both of our hearts. It worries me what he would do without me

Alcohol, drugs and mental illness by

Hi everyone. I am at the end of my knowledge. My friend has been put on medication and therapy about 8 months ago but is continuing to drink and take speed regularly. She knows it's bad for her, she has had several episodes already and I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. We can always have normal, regular conversations but it is doing something to me to see her drinking even tho she's aware of the dangers. Any advice? Thank you Julia

1 post

First post...looking for help. by

Hi, as the title says, this is my first post, a friend recommended I post here. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we have 2 children and I have another from a previous relationship. I’ve always known he does coke on a night out, but that’s literally once a year. Last week he brought some coke and said he hasn’t done or because he hasn’t been able to go out, I wasn’t completely happy with that but figured he wanted to get it out of his system. He did it, the next day he felt like shit but he didn’t do anymore. I’ve been suspicious that he’s been doing it in the evenings this week. I’ve had a look around the house and found 2 bags hidden somewhere I would never normally look. I’m furious and sad, I don’t really know how I feel. I’ve called in sick to work later because I think us talking is more important. I want to give him an ultimatum, stop it now or leave. Is that realistic? Can he just stop? If he’s addicted I don’t want him in the house anymore. I’m feeling awful and all over the place. I don’t know what to think or feel. Thank you for any advice.

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