: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

140 threads

1062 posts

Should we tell our dad about my brother's drug use? by

Hi, so my brother (mid 30s) has admitted to me and my sister (both in our 40s) that he has developed a drug problem. Started years back with prescription pain meds, which he stopped, but recently (last few months) has now started taking a whole range of other drugs, including coke, ketamine, all sorts, and using xanax to cope with the come down. He stayed with me for a week to get away from temptation, which mainly worked, but has gone back to his flat and is using again. He went to a local drug service, has been twice but I'm not convinced he's going to go back. Our mum knows, the strain on her is awful, we are all struggling. My parents are divorced and my brother refuses to tell our dad about it, but as my dad doesn't know he keeps giving him money..thinking It's going on bills when it's going on drugs. Should we tell our dad? My brother won't tell him but his giving him money is not helping. Also I keep thinking if the worst happened (my brother gets seriously depressed and suicidal) how will my dad feel knowing we've not told him? But then, my brother might not trust me again if I tell dad. It's all such a mess. I'm worried about the impact on everyone, including my 2 young children, who love their uncle but I need to keep them safe.

by Rev

5 posts

Back to same old same old by

Well after my son showing some signs that he wanted to change his life last week & a promise that he would join hubby and I for tea tonight, he’s put a note through my door today to say he’s not coming as he is too embarrassed to face us. He’s admitted to returning to begging again & put his bank card & security number in the envelope asking me to withdraw the money £60 NEXT Weds & give it to his sister to pay for the petrol to take him to the rehab centre. All well & good but he hasn’t got a confirmed date to go yet and the last time he gave US money to look after for him (about 18 months ago) within hours he had broken into our house to retrieve it from the mantelpiece! Well I’m posting it back to him. I don’t want the responsibility of it or listen to his nonsense. Asking him to commit to rehab is clearly too big an ask. I am sick of the shame he is bringing to the family in a small town community where he and his family are known. He’s not ready for change despite him saying he is. So sad but it’s made me cross with him & I don’t want to be. He won’t make the effort & I only see more pain watching him sink further and further down.

1 post

Son using MDMA and cocaine by

The last 2 weeks have been hell, starting with the police knocking at our door carrying out a welfare check. It turns out that our son is using Cocaine and MDMA, and was having thoughts of self harm. We told him we’d support him to stop, but didn’t want him using or bringing drugs to our house. Today he just so happened to go out with a friend and she’d left her jacket here, I found a bag of off white powder in her pocket, and when they returned I gave her her jacket, told her what I thought of her and told her not to come near my house again, my son followed her and I’ve not heard from him since. Literally broken, feel like he’s ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. So hurt.


7 posts

Finally admitting the truth by

Background - I am 21 years old, I have just graduated university and have moved back home with my parents. I come from a very loving home, my parents don't have the best relationship but it's been like that for as long as I can remeber. My mum lost her father a couple years back and since then my gran hasn't coped with the grief very well, it is known that gran is an alcoholic between our family. The realisiation - My mum has always enjoyed a glass of wine in the evenings, nothing wrong with that. But I have begun to notice that a glass every night has somehow turned into a bottle and I can't say exactly how long this has been the case. She stumbles on her footing and slurs her words but gets very defensive when I mention that she may have drunk too much, I've pushed it to the back of my mind until tonight. Tonight was the last straw for me. We had a short argument as we often do when she has been drinking surrounding the fact that we had had a conversation earlier which she has now totaly forgotten. She even tried to turn it around on me saying that I was making it up. I even did question myself a little out of pure denial that she's an alcoholic. After she went to bed I decided to talk to my dad about it who was downstairs, we havent spoken about her issue before but for the first time he said the words "she's an alcoholic" and suddenly everything clicked in place. I feel like I can't ignore it anymore and I dont want her to go down the same path as her mum. I really dont know what to do or where my responsibility lies in this whole thing. How do I help her?

Ketamine mental health effects by

I am working the Al Anon 12 step programme and I have an adult child who stopped using ketamine a few months ago. She is living with me at the moment and is showing some strange behaviour: talking to herself loudly and laughing, on the verge of manically. It is quite unsettling. I am walking the line between detachment, letting her live with the consequences of her actions, and not trying to persuade her to get help...she is defiantly resisting those who are trying to control what she does...and supporting her enough to love her with compassion and without judgment, while encouraging her, honestly and without denial, about the state of her life. I know she is deeply ashamed...she has said this more than once. I am aware that she has to choose to get help for it to be truly effective. My question is about the bizarre behaviour. I don’t really understand the psychological effects of ketamine. I’ve witnessed the loss of appetite, delusional behaviour, divorced from reality, agitation, pacing, depression and self harming. What I am unsure of is if I should be involving the medical profession regarding the manic laughing out loud and talking to herself. She walked out of the doctors angrily a few months earlier. Thanks. Any insights into any specific differences in handling ketamine from alcohol addiction would be much appreciated.


2 posts

Another weekend.... by

Just thought I’d update .... my son was beaten up last Monday. Saw him Tues at my daughter’s. He looked wretched. Thin, black eye , sore ribs he said. Filthy clothes. Told us he had got a food bank voucher & got food but no gas, no electricity in his flat, no TV (that belonged to the landlord & he sold it for drugs money). He was shuffling around my daughter’s house, head bowed looking like an old tramp. We all lavished him with tea and sympathy. I took him back to my house, let him shower & gave him a large hot meal. He left to go back to his flat promising me he would call again Weds, Thurs or tonight after he had rested and seen his GP. Well Weds he was seen begging around the smarter area of town and he hasn’t visited. The smarter side of town is a good 1.5 miles from his flat. Sounds like he’s hoodwinked us again & give back to the lifestyle he loves. I even spoke to a nurse over the phone at our local drug support unit requesting a home visit as a welfare check but they said “No”. My son has got to go to them to be re-assessed and she said he clearly doesn’t want to. He was supposed to go to them each week after his discharge from his last rehab but rather than carry on looking & sounding great he then relapsed with an almighty thud until we are now here with him putting up“the finger” to his family, his med team and key workers & preferring to spend each day hungry, unkept, unwashed, not caring about his flat, his family or anything else & preferring spending his waking hours stoned, high or whatever the feeling he achieved through drug use. We his family have been told, read & researched that nothing will change unless he decides its time to get the help he needs so we wait and worry and cry and try to stay strong for him and for each other. It’s just so dreadful and heartbreaking.


7 posts

11 Days cold turkey from codeine and doing ok! by

Just wanted to put out there my story and gain any advice that people can offer me. been addicted to codeine for 5 years now and have known for ages that i had to stop, and recently ive been attempting to taper but after so many false starts where i would cut down to 5 a day etc i would cave and jump up to my more regular dose of 12-15 30mg tabs every night. i have been on the sick from work following knee and elbow surgery and I have worried lately that this would eventually affect my marriage and end up losing my family etc as i would normally sit up till 2-3 am feeling euphoric while my wife would go to bed at 10 ready for work the next day thus meaning our physical relationship has suffered. however i had not planned to go cold turkey as the fear of withdrawels petrified me. for a reason unknown to me i suddenly decided to stop on 1st of march (this had not been planned). It had coincided with me suffering a very heavy flu like cold which had started before i stopped the pills. however after the first 4-5 days in and whilst i felt relatively drained as though i just had a heavy cold but had no real desire to collapse back onto the drugs. my main symptoms at that point where lethargy, a bit loose on the toilet, feeling fluey but not too bad. a bit emotional thinking about my children and grandson (but this actually helps as i keep telling myself that i will be able to be a far better granddad to my 2 y/o grandson who idolises me and me him.) a bit insomnia waking up about 5 but lying awake till morning. other than this i hadn't felt to bad at all and what was strange is that in the past when i have just gone one day without the drug the withdrawals were awful and far worse. i am unsure why this time i felt relatively OK . luckily my appetite had not suffered at all so i have been eating well, juicing healthy fruits and eating veg, taking vitamins etc through out, so i can see the benefits of ridding my self of this drug. I am now at day 11, i have not had any relapses and i am happy to say that i have disposed of all of my remaining codeine (over 200 pills) and also spoke to my gp to remove my repeat prescription therefore my supply is stopped. Currently still doing very well however still have a few remaining issues with looseness on the toilet, and feeling very very lethargic almost like i have spent a full day in the gym, my sleep is still broken. but life is slowly returning to normal, I am back at work tomorrow but whilst feeling a bit anxious i know that this will help me and will probably help with my sleep as i will be back in a routine. I would love to hear if anybody can give me some ideas as to when the fatigue will start to end. i am being sensible and doing a little exercise as im aware my body will be weak at the moment so not over doing anything. I am so proud of where i am at and others in my situation should feel confident you can beat this too. Good luck and thanks for reading this N X

I'm ending my relationship due to drinking by

Hi, I just need some support as although I know I'm doing the right thing for my family I feel guilty and I'm worried for my boyfriend, after a talk on monday he said he wouldnt drink in front of our daughter that he was having a few weeks off and he wouldnt drink again until a stag weekend at the beginning of Oct that me and our daughter were more important and he could see she was being distant with him (always coming to me because I'm the one that's always there, he's really loud when drinking so she's a bit scared as she thinks hes shouting she also doesnt like it when he smells of drink so avoids him plus he let's her down alot by saying hes going to take her places then just leaving me to take her because he'd rather sit at home drinking alone) anyway come Friday and my mum was looking after her so he came home from work with the usual excuses, shes not at home tonight, it's been a long week, I want to spend some time relaxing etc anyway I'm past caring so dont even bother arguing but again he sat up all night drinking when I got up at 9am on sat he was still drinking continued all day, i went out about 11 and returned at 3 he was still in the same spot in the same clothes drinking even though I'd asked him to sort some things while I was out just a few simple things like asking his ex if he could have his son next week for daughters birthday party and take the bin down but he done nothing, the drinking continued even after I picked up my daughter at 4.30 he then spent the rest of the night complaining that he was being ignored and he felt like the invisible man that she'd only cuddle him when he asked he refused to let her have her favourite things because she was being rude to him, when I said it because your drunk all I got was you blame everything on my drinking but it's true hes lost all his friends and family due to arguments hes started when drunk my family dont like him because the amount he drinks he doesnt get invited on work nights out because of his drinking the only person that doesnt see his drinking is a problem is him I've now decided I need to leave, i need to do what's best for my daughter I know it's going to be difficult to get him to leave and he'll fight me all the way it's going to be very stressful I also dont know where I stand with contact with lo as he will expect me just to hand her over but I dont want to leave her alone with him, i have videos of him passed out and a diary of the amount hes drank over the last month I want to insist on supervised contact until he can prove hes capable of being sober when he has her but I've no idea where to start I suppose what I'm asking for is some reassurance I'm doing the right thing and if anyone has any help or info regarding how to safeguard my daughter while still maintaining a relationship with her dad? I know it's not going to be easy but any advice to make it as painless as possible would be greatly appreciated thank you x


3 posts