: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

603 threads

5432 posts

Cocaine addiction is ruining my life by

I started taking cocaine at a pretty young age, probably around 16 - 17. At first it was just a party drug, I would never take it unless I was actually going out, wether it be to a party or to town etc. It was never really a problem back then, but fast forward 10 years and I'm now 28 years old, taking cocaine on an almost daily basis. I lie to everybody around me, including myself. Sometimes when I'm on my way to get coke I try to stop myself but the cravings always win, its like there are 2 of me, One who wants to do whats right and one who is fully consumed by the drug, my addiction always manages to find an excuse that convinces me its acceptable or that I have A valid reason to use. Last night was the tipping point, I had what I beleive was a minor heart attack, I have experienced palpatations from cocaine more times than I care to remember. This was something else entirely, the worst thing was I was sat on my own in my living room, girlfriend in bed upstairs none the wiser, and my addiction almost didnt let me ask for help for fear of being discovered. After half an hour of absolute terror, convinced I was about to meet my end, experiencing multiple symptoms of a heart attack (old sweats, shallow breathing, light headed, pain in chest and shoulder) I found the courage to wake her, I have never felt so worthless in all my life, seeing the look of pure fear on her face and knowing it was self inflicted will stay with me for a long time. The ambulance arrived not long after and the paramedics ran an ECG. They where satisfied I was no longer having any form of heart attack but asked me to go to AE to have my bloods done as my results where showing some form of irregularity, they said it was possible I had experienced a minor attack but I would need to go to AE to find out, but as it was no longer an emergency situation they said it was my decision. I didn't go to AE as it was 4am and I had work at 8, they made me sign some sort of waiver to say I was refusing to go and then they left. I thought that would be the end of my addiction, surely it should of been, but here I am, the very next night, powder on table. If that wasnt enough to stop me what is it going to take ?

by Jinn54

11 posts

Cocaine addiction by

I have been using cocaine now for the past 4 years and have recently started getting tightness in my left arm and lef followed by a purple like rash. My body swells and my muscles ache. Behind my knee i have been getting pains that travel down my lower leg and get purple blotches everywhere. I also get nerve pains from my neck down to my shoulder and in to my arm. I have tried so hard to stop but i seem to always find an excuse to do it. Even with all the pains i still do it. Has anyone experienced these pains and what did u do to stop? Im 29 and have just lost my job and currently homeless i just need some advice 🥺

by Jinn54

5 posts

I just want to share my codeine success story by

I have been dependant and addicted to codeine for over a year now, at some point I was taking 1 and a half boxes of 32 neurofen plus. It started with a few pills a day following an extremely painful tooth infection coupled with covid dental waiting times and bam At first it was relieving, i struggle with anxiety and depression and the loneliness of covid in addition to having to move back home with a narcisstic over baring mother and an enabling father And dating a narcissist who made me feel worthless meant reality was too painful to handle and I used codeine as my teddy bear While at first it helped a little, after a year I was consistently depressed and anxiety through the roof, I experienced intense panic attacks and stomach cramps and everything biologically started to break down, I lost so much weight and my skin was shredded. I had awful memory, I couldn't focus, I couldn't remember things, I couldn't feel things but yet I often cried for hours I really hated it at the end and I hated myself for it Idk why but I decided to date at a point from the loneliness and boredom and after being rejected 5 times in a row I realised my life had tumbled I was in so much debt, I couldn't make any progress in therapy because I had my codeine that's all that matters, I wasted so much time acquiring it and pharmacies were getting suspicious One day I had enough, I had tried to stop before but I wasn't in a great place and the discomfort was too over bearing So rfhis time I wanted to do it properly, I tapered and prepared for the withdrawals, I researched heavily and read alot of these forums which was a life saver, THANKYOU TO ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES I can proudly say now that as of 15 July I've gone from 1 and a half packs to 1 and a half strips a day (from 50sh pills to 10 pills) and still cutting. I wanted to go faster at first because financially, I just couldn't afford to taper slower and I was more than ready to be uncomfortable The thought that helped me most is 1) I can be so proud of myself and as someone who hated themselves, that's such a fear 2) every addiction I've had has been a habit and I took the example of stopping biting my nails to motivate me, time works wonders and I put all my faith in time 3) I read journal entries of when I felt physically the worst and it helps remind me why I'm stopping when I start craving it 4) I replaced the addiction with something else, I've taken up piano and music alone is so therapeutic and even more when you're the one playing it I hope this motivates someone, its a disease and more often than not it aims for the most vulnerable, take it as a lesson, don't be so hard on yourself because the world does that for you, and take your quitting as one of the most powerful and incredible things you'll do in life

1 post

Struggling with my girlfriend in rehab by

My girlfriend left for rehab roughly two weeks ago. I haven't heard from her only but a couple times, and my mind has gone down the rabbit hole of shit. I'm scared of the unknown, of the not knowing. I'm scared if she still loves me and want to be with me. I'm scared to think she may be cheating on me with someone there. I've been through something similar and was cheated on. I trust her, but this silence is awful. I don't know how to cope.

1 post

Lost the will to keep going! by

Is there ever an end to the parents / family suffering at the hands of an addict. Why do I still send him money and leave myself short? Guilt I guess, I thought I'd brought him up to the same standards as me. I knew there was something different about my son from an early age but the system didn't believe me. Then transpires he was self medicating from the age of 14. Started with weed which I suspected but couldnt prove until he was caught out age 16. Now 20 still on weed sometimes supplemented with coke. On anti psychotic meds too which don't mix. I had to refuse him home 2 years ago on bail after smashing the house up again. I then had a breakdown (had my own mental health demons, still have). His friend kicked him out so my parents took him in. Another two years of hell, only it was happening towards my parents. They kicked him out now too. He can't come back to me as housing association helped me downsize to a one bed. The constant manipulation for money is what is breaking me now. I try so hard to say no, then it's "life isn't worth living etc" all the bullshit but still I fall for it. To be honest I don't feel my life is worth living. I'm not living, I'm existing just. All because I am clinging to the hope he will get into rehab and be my son again. he's had his interview and a bed will be available in 4 months!! Is there light and the end of the tunnel or am I kidding myself. I took the rose coloured glasses off years ago but the guilt kills me so I give him money. Makes me just as bad as I'm enabling his addiction. Oh man this is soooo hard to put into words and share but I don't know what else to do now.

by Cfer

3 posts

The Betrayal by

Why didn't you tell your spouse/significant other/loved one that you tried coke (or whatever it was/is that has you out of control). And, that you want to keep doing coke, and you will keep doing coke. And, all the good/bad/ugly events that happen to you while you are experiencing the highs/lows/cravings/withdrawals - you will not ever tell me about. Why? Why was I not included in this decision of yours that has totally changed our lives? Why wasn't I even given a chance to know the truth of what was happening? This seems to be a common behavior of the addicted - hiding. It feels like a most awful betrayal and it hurts like Hell. To not know anything about it for years and feel something is so wrong. I hope someone can answer, because he still hasn't given me an answer to this.

My Son Cannabis addict by

My son is 20 years old and has been smoking Cannabis for a few years. He tried to hide it at first but the smell made it obvious he was using. It has become more and more of an issue, he smokes at least 3 to 4 times a week, alone, outside. He’s wasted in a morning and looks terrible. We banned him from smoking in the house or having anything to do with weed in the house, but he just sneaks it in or lies about it. It causes huge arguments between us, his moods are low, then high and any attempt to talk to him escalate into a blazing row and him being aggressive. A few weeks ago after a particularly bad row he agreed he would stop bringing it in the house. He never thinks he has an issue as ‘everyone smokes it now’. We are very concerned that he is smoking more often than ever, and worry he has a serious problem, especially as this morning he took Edibles, despite both myself and his dad working from home. So now he’s stoned in the daytime too. He lives a good life with us, he has his own floor in our house which we’ve threatened to move him from, but we‘re worried he will move out and live with other users. We’re so worried about his mental health and the risk of him moving to other drugs, does anyone have any advice please?

by Linda

67 posts

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