: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

62 threads

394 posts

Newbie by

Hi I'm new here. I've just confronted my husband about his secret drinking. When I say confronted, I waited until he was away and sent him an email as I thought I'd be able to explain myself more clearly and I didn't want any to give him any opportunity to make excuses. He has texted me to say he's seen the email and he's sorry and knows he doesn't deserve any more chances. I hope I'm not being naive in thinking this is the beginning of recovery and things will start to improve from now? A lot of what I read on the internet is about wives eventually throwing their husbands out after years of disappointment, but I'm really hoping that my story will be happier. Does anyone have experience of a happy ending?...

Newbie and needing advice by

I posted this in share your story but wondering if it would be better placed here Hi all New here and relatively new to all this. Looking for some advice. Last July I started dating a guy who was 5 months into recovery (I now know that’s not advisable for him to do). We had an amazing 7 months, he was doing great, although he was putting a lot of pressure on himself to achieve a lot very quickly. He has a history of mental health issues, deep rooted very traumatic stuff from his childhood. A month ago out of the blue he started distancing himself from everyone. He completely shut his family out and his contact with me was becoming less frequent. I eventually found out he has relapsed. Obviously there was tension but I supported him as best I could. He assured me he didn’t want to continue and would stop again. He didn’t. It was a long distance relationship and his contact continued to dwindle, it felt like when I wasn’t physically with him he’d forget I existed. Sunday just gone, I’d had enough, told him I was fed up of the way he was treating me, that I wanted to be with him and support him but he had to take into account my feelings. I’m ashamed to say I screamed and shouted (out of frustration). In one conversation he said said he wanted to be with me, didn’t know if he wanted to be with me; didn’t want to be with me. And that was that, we were over. He said he didn’t deserve to be happy and didn’t think he’d ever settle down. His family are sadly used to these episodes and have said they think he’s scared and running away from me. That he doesn’t think he deserves me. I want to support him but at the minute I’m leaving him be, he’s shut himself away and I don’t want to force the issue. But I have no clue what to think about what’s going to happen. I feel like I’m in limbo and I have no idea what I should do Any advice or shared stories would be amazing Thank you

1 post

Husband doing cocaine by

I know my husband has been a casual cocaine user in the past. But recently it seems to have gotten out of control. He’s lying about his use- because it’s easier than listening to me nagging he says. He’s been staying out all night on benders, this seems to happen around once/twice a month including Christmas Day. And he has also left remnants in the house, we have three children and I’m horrified and have been extremely upset about the harm they may have come to. He has a high powered job or should I say had, he recently got let go. It just seems his whole life is crashing down. He often drinks a lot which leads to the cocaine use. However he downplays everything and can’t seem to take responsibility. I’m literally at the end of my tether and ready to leave and again he refuses to take this seriously. I still love him and don’t want to break up our family but I feel things can’t go on this way. His attitude seems to be that he earns the money and he deserves to spend it on what he likes even if it’s drink and drugs. If I say anything he accuses me of nagging. His lack of responsibility is destroying our family. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Cannabis addiction, or just overreacting? by

I'm concerned about my girlfriend's cannabis use, but I've no idea how to raise it, and whether there's an actual element of addiction or I'm just overreacting. She smokes every night of the week when she's not working. Also, whenever we've had friends over she often sneaks out the back to have a smoke at some point in the evening. She doesn't smoke on evenings she's working, or when we're away on holiday either abroad or with other people. I've raised the addiction question with her before and she points to this as evidence that she doesn't need it. She suffers from complex mental health issues, and also argues when I've raised the issue that she needs it for her mental health, as it gives her headspace. I've mentioned to her before that her use concerns me, and that I'm not comfortable with it. A few months back she told me that she thought she was addicted, and had taken herself to a couple of NA meetings. Soon after she decided to stop going as she'd decided that she was not in the league of the actual addicts that were there. I get the feeling that the story above really answers the question I've asked, but I could do with some sort of confirmation one way or the other. Is there such thing as high-functioning addiction, and is that what this is?

by Mary87

5 posts

Please tell me what drug this is used for by

My brother has told me his not on drugs and his is withdrawing from them. Everything in my heart told me it was a lie and then I found Something and I want to know what drug it is used for. My brother used to do heroin and smack and everything then he went to rehab and he was clean for 5 years. Then he started to date a older women who had children little did he know this woman had accused 7 other men of sexual assault and rape and none had been proven or disproven in court, so when he didn’t want to see her anymore she accused my brother of rape 5 years in prison my brother spend and because the 7 other men who she accused where never proven or disproven the jury were not allowed to hear about the 7 other men she has accused. The judges reason being it would be unfair to let the jury decided if she was unlucky those 7 times or not. My brother is not a rapist but spend 5 years in prison a innocent man and turned back to drugs after 5 years of being clean, drugs is everywhere in prison and the justice system was supposed to protect my brother and they let him down and destroyed his life. Now He is out of prison and very good at hiding the drugs. first it was progabalin then codeine now iv found tin foil with long Brown neat lines with a rounded up foil pipe I want to know what drug that is used for I’m hoping his not back of smack or heroine if you can tell me how to post a pic of it, I can so u can see better he will never tell me the truth I don’t get angry only when he lies I can’t help it I try so hard to love him and be nice but it’s hard when he is slowly self destructing and snapping at you for even asking if he has taken anything So it’s tin foil with long brown/black neat lines with a rolled up tin foil pipe type thing looks like he burns it I hope his not back on needles that would be a shock but I need to know so I can help

by

4 posts

My codeine addiction by

I am a 28 year old, female and I have been addicted to codeine since 2012, and this is my first time ever admitting it to anyone. No one knows, I'm good at hiding it. It all started after surgery in 2012, I was given codeine to help with the pain and I then started buying it online. I got to the point where I was taking 12x 30mg tablets 4-5x daily. Every single day! That's 1800mg a day and some days I would even take more. Some days I'd take 2500mg. The thing is, I like taking it, I'm functional on it and it makes me feel happy, but I'm so determined to stop. I'm in so much debt that it's all I can think about, I must spend £700 a month on codeine and it's disgusting. It's time to stop. I'm tapering down. I have 112 tablets left to taper down from and I can't afford to buy anymore either. Does anyone have any advice on how I can cope with the withdrawal? I'm so f***ing determined to get my life back. I'm taking citalopram (prescribed) and multivitamins. I got down to 9 30mg tablets 4x daily and now I'm on 7 30mg tablets 4x daily. My plan is to go to 6x4 tablets tomorrow, 5x4 the next day, then 4x4, then 3x4, then 2x4 and the 1x4 and then nothing. I know this is fast, but like I said I just can't afford to buy anymore now. So far I feel okay, somehow. Any help, advice or support would be greatly appreciated. I really need some help right now. Thank you

Day 18 cold turkey from codeine and starting to feel like myself by

Just thought I’d put up a post for anyone who’d like to comment or discuss their opiate withdrawal/addiction. As the title says I’m currently on day 18 and starting to feel more like my normal self. I won’t lie it has been fairly difficult but just so people know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The early physical withdrawals are the easiest part believe it or not as it’s nothing compared to the lack of motivation and energy you feel thru out so basically a mild depression. In the first week I thought I’d never get better I couldn’t do anything at all, I couldn’t tend to my 2 children, I couldn’t do any housework, I couldn’t do my job properly, I basically couldn’t get off the settee to do anything and I just thought this sad no motivation low mood was never gunna end but it does guys ! For the last few days I’ve been slowly getting better, I can tend to my kids I can do the housework altho it does tire me out and my thoughts are much happier now i can see myself slowly becoming my normal self again. Don’t get me wrong it is only day 18 and I’m still not sleeping 100% and I do still lack motivation but compared to 1 week ago I am so much better and so could you be. All the best guys and I hope this post helps just 1 person battle thru. I visit this forum daily so I will reply to anyone that wants to chat or swap stories or ask questions etc. :)

by Dadict

3 posts

11 Days cold turkey from codeine and doing ok! by

Just wanted to put out there my story and gain any advice that people can offer me. been addicted to codeine for 5 years now and have known for ages that i had to stop, and recently ive been attempting to taper but after so many false starts where i would cut down to 5 a day etc i would cave and jump up to my more regular dose of 12-15 30mg tabs every night. i have been on the sick from work following knee and elbow surgery and I have worried lately that this would eventually affect my marriage and end up losing my family etc as i would normally sit up till 2-3 am feeling euphoric while my wife would go to bed at 10 ready for work the next day thus meaning our physical relationship has suffered. however i had not planned to go cold turkey as the fear of withdrawels petrified me. for a reason unknown to me i suddenly decided to stop on 1st of march (this had not been planned). It had coincided with me suffering a very heavy flu like cold which had started before i stopped the pills. however after the first 4-5 days in and whilst i felt relatively drained as though i just had a heavy cold but had no real desire to collapse back onto the drugs. my main symptoms at that point where lethargy, a bit loose on the toilet, feeling fluey but not too bad. a bit emotional thinking about my children and grandson (but this actually helps as i keep telling myself that i will be able to be a far better granddad to my 2 y/o grandson who idolises me and me him.) a bit insomnia waking up about 5 but lying awake till morning. other than this i hadn't felt to bad at all and what was strange is that in the past when i have just gone one day without the drug the withdrawals were awful and far worse. i am unsure why this time i felt relatively OK . luckily my appetite had not suffered at all so i have been eating well, juicing healthy fruits and eating veg, taking vitamins etc through out, so i can see the benefits of ridding my self of this drug. I am now at day 11, i have not had any relapses and i am happy to say that i have disposed of all of my remaining codeine (over 200 pills) and also spoke to my gp to remove my repeat prescription therefore my supply is stopped. Currently still doing very well however still have a few remaining issues with looseness on the toilet, and feeling very very lethargic almost like i have spent a full day in the gym, my sleep is still broken. but life is slowly returning to normal, I am back at work tomorrow but whilst feeling a bit anxious i know that this will help me and will probably help with my sleep as i will be back in a routine. I would love to hear if anybody can give me some ideas as to when the fatigue will start to end. i am being sensible and doing a little exercise as im aware my body will be weak at the moment so not over doing anything. I am so proud of where i am at and others in my situation should feel confident you can beat this too. Good luck and thanks for reading this N X

Any advice at all by

Ohh I don’t really know where to start. I am a looking for some advice on how I can support my sister who is married to an addict. She is on the verge of having a breakdown and I live 2.5 hours away with a new baby so really limited with how often I can visit. Her husband relapsed when she got pregnant. She now has a little bit of 5 months who she is supporting alone. She kicked her partner out just after the baby was born having found drugs in his clothes and not wanting them around the baby. He would also disappear for days without getting in touch and just getting on it. She has recently just lost her job and so that’s another added stress. She still loved her partner so much and is desperate for him to go and get help. He has tried some groups but is not committed and just fails to go. When he gets paid he will get back on it. She works 60hrs a week and then looks after her little one so feels isolated and alone as stuck in while her husband is out on it and was looking to book a lads holiday away. I call her and message her daily to check she’s ok and to provide as much support as possible. I know her husband has an illness and walking away just isn’t that easy especially when a kid is involved but I don’t know what else I can do to help her. It breaks my heart having her on the phone in tears when he is sending abusive messages or hasn’t turned up on a planned visit. Any help at all on how I can support her through this time and any support I could give her would be great. Also if anyone knows of any support group that allows you to take children please let me know Thank you x

by DNAnon

3 posts

Struggling to know what's right by

Hi, I'm not too sure how to start this, or know what to say exactly... I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and hes got alcohol issues. It wasn't so bad at first but over the years it got worse, then better, now worse again. I've always been there for him, celebrating the small steps hes taken and been a shoulder to cry on when hes had bad days. He struggles with sevear depression and anxiety which is made worse drinking every night and smoking weed. He says it's the only release he gets from his head and life. Because of this, he doesn't have a job and gets pennies from benefits so we only rely on my wage which isn't a lot and it's made me go into debt, and makes my own depression worse. We argue like cat and dog, things get said and we both end up upset. This last argument we had was over money (which isn't unusual) and he dragged me out of our bed and I flew on the floor because i told him I'm sick of being in debt because of his drinking. This has made me leave. I'm no saint in all of this, I have an addiction to weed as I refuse to drink but smoke weed daily with him, and hes played on that to get what he wants at night despite me saying to him I dont want this life anymore, i want better for us. I also say nasty things towards him when he snaps at me and tells me it's because of me which is why he still drinks/cant stop drinking. I often feel like he is only with me because of me being in work so he has somewhat of a wage to splash on the booze and knows how to get around me to get me to take out loans, something in which I have stopped doing as my debt has gone out of control. I should also point out that he cant take out loans because his credit history is ruined because of his drinking (and before me, gambling) way before we met. The issue is, when things are good, we are good. We laugh, we joke, we are there for each other and are the perfect couple... But I feel like it's all tainted when it gets to 10pm and he goes out to the shop. I feel so alone in all of this because I cant bring myself to tell anyone about his issues as its upto him who to tell. None of my friends or family know anything about his issues. Last year we had about a week break from each other because of his drinking and arguing and i ended up leaving because i got stuck and tired of everything being blamed on me and being told what i can and cant do with my money. I very rarely see any of my friends anymore because I cant afford to go out and do things. I really dont want to give up on him as I can see a future without alcohol, as he was sober for a while and was on a detox program a year or so ago but ended up giving in to temptation. But since then it's almost as if he tells me what I want to hear and then does the opposite or doesn't try and have nights off. I've spoken to him many times as to how I feel and he says he is trying but it's hard. I get this but its still as if he doesn't try. The only time he doesn't drink now is when we have no money left so he cant go and buy alcohol. I just dont know what to do anymore as I'm scared of what will happen if I leave but I cant keep on living my life the way it is anymore. I've just begun what I hope will be an amazing career for me and I dream of owning a house and car, things I now will only find harder because of the debt I now have. I cant lose this job as well because of him either, but I cant lose him because of when we are good. He goes to a councillor and goes to an alcohol support centre, but a lot of the time he cancels last minute because he cant face going unless I force him to go, this happened this morning which started the argument as I was really annoyed he snapped at me when I was trying to get him up saying hes not going. He went, but when he came back the argument continued and what happened, happened. Any advice or help would be really appreciated as this is the first time I've ever spoken about this to anyone other than my own councillor, who said couldn't really help as it's not me who's suffering with alcohol. Thank you.