: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

603 threads

5432 posts

Cannabis, Mental Health, threats of suicide if we try and help my niece by

My niece is severely addicted to cannabis. She is also severely mentally ill, hearing and talking to voices in her head and convinced that the cannabis is the only thing that helps. She is in desperate need of mental health support but threatens to kill herself if we get it for her, as they will take away her weed - and her mother is understandably too scared having seen her close to going through with it. She is impossible to live with, because the voices in her head make her scream and cry as well as talk to them day and night. We are struggling to find help and don’t know where to look next. Do we try and treat the addiction or the mental health issues? What can we do if she refuses help with either? She can take cannabis and then lie to people in positions of authority for the time it takes to convince them she is compos mentis, so they think she’s okay, but she really really isn’t. Help

1 post

My husband won’t stop cocaine alcohol and weed by

Hi everyone, my life is a total mess at the moment . Im living hell every day of my life with my husband who i have a baby girl with. He doesn’t support me financially emotionally or nothing at all. Sex is good but he only good when he is sniffing cocaine and has had a drink. We currently don’t live together because he has moved out to his parents house and only stops by weekends. When he is at home with me he sniffs cocaine and drinks all night then demands sex and goes off to sleep till next evening. He wakes up in a bad mood . Shouting swearing giving me abuse. Iv tried soo hard to help him . Im losing the will power to live now. What should i do?

1 post

Feeling stuck by

A close relative of mine has had a Ketamine addiction for 6+ years now. She's been in full rehab twice, and has stayed in a number of dry houses but had to leave as she used or drank. She is currently in council accommodation, using Ketamine daily (or drinking when she has less money), and she's not going to any groups, or pursuing counselling, or accessing any other services/support to help herself. She calls me on the phone high as if nothing is happening so I confronted her to ask what she is currently doing to address the addiction, and unsurprisingly, nothing. She said she's tried everything and nothing is working, and that I don't understand the addiction. The conversation quickly turned into blame and I'm an awful person territory so I stepped back. She's doing some part-time work, socialising here and there and has her accommodation paid for by the council so is in a very comfortable position to continue with the addiction and not do anything to tackle it. I know I can't begin to understand what it's like but the fact she's not doing anything at all to help herself and then pretty much acts like nothing is up by sending me funny videos etc, and says she's given up, is infuriating and hurtful. I have said let me know when you're doing something to address it, because I feel like it is enabling to ignore and let the relationship continue when there is no action on her part to help herself, but of course there's an underlying threat in here (no relationship unless you work at the addiction) which most likely just perpetuates the cycle she's in, but to be frank I don't want to speak to her when she's high. As a family, we spent many years brushing it under the carpet to an extent but now I've gone the other way completely - zero tolerance for it, and zero patience unless i can see she's actively doing work to address things and help herself heal. I know I sound like a pretentious know it all - but I've also gone through enough of my own journey to know my own personal boundaries. I've been a continuous support and source of comfort for her - at the cost of my own mental health because it always backfires. So I guess I'm asking what others think - is it cruel to say we can only have a relationship if she's doing work to address her addiction? Anything other than this feels like I'm enabling. I know it wont necessarily go away because she's doing the work - but at least if she's trying, well she's trying. I can't uphold a relationship with her if she's not, too much damage has been done to our relationship and I've seen too much (way too much) to now take this lightly! Thoughts gratefully received xx update: reading this back I guess it's how I communicate this with her - i.e. that it's too painful to see her carry on and not do anything to address her addiction, and I can't pretend its not serious and ignore the fact she's using. Perhaps i need to say: don't call me when you've been using or drinking, we can't meet when you've been using or drinking, I can't be around you when you're doing either because its too upsetting??

1 post

Cocaine using Wife by

So on Saturday everything changed. 1pm before my partner was going on a day out with her son who is 15, I saw her doing coke in her office with the door closed 3ft from her son. We are a blended family of 4 years and she’s had a tough time with her own father and ex husband who is an an alcoholic, cocaine user. The behaviour of the father has made the children very vulnerable and with behaviour and anxiety problems. I have 2 she’s has 2 children and we have lived in a Lovely house for 18 months now. When we first me 4 years ago I caught her doing a livener just weeks after he son had caught the dad doing coke. This affected him greatly. The dad is now not around. Last year I found a rolled up £50 cue a big argument. Boxing Day I caught her doing a line before we were going to play Board games and again last month I found coke in her office. I swabbed the house last month found it in a number of places and she promised she’s deleted all the dealers numbers. On Saturday she was doing it on an iPad. So I’d never know if I swabbed surfaces again. She claims that’s the only time she’s done it. But Saturday was different it was 1pm. We have had loads of problems with her daughters schooling and behaviour over the last 9 months which I think has sent her over the edge. Doing coke is not acceptable though. Now i don’t know if she’s been a user for the whole time we’ve been together. I confronted her. Now she refuses to talk to me and doesn’t admit she has a problem, says it’s normal, acceptable . Her behaviours are exactly how the poster described. Exactly. She has a high flying job but rarely gets out of bed before 11am. Always chasing around to catch up time. She’s bi polar, always angry with something, no interests apart from trash tv. Petty in her insults. She get a abusive both verbally and physically. Controlling I’m ever Hopeful she will wake up one day and be back to her best. I’m Heart broken today. Even worse I’m in Europe away from the famiky. Suddenly her problems have smacked me in the face. Clear as day. I don’t know what to do. We have so much to lose.

Parent and excessive drinking by

Hi everyone, hope you’re well. I just wanted to join a forum where others might understand. It’s been an ongoing issue but from what I’ve seen has worsened this month. It’s difficult to keep full track as I live away. We also had events at Christmas where behaviour was nasty and insulting. I’ve tried raising the situation but nothing. It gets taken as an attack. Drs are refused so I’m stuck there. Mentally it’s just too much, as feel I have I’m always on edge expecting it to happen. What should be a relaxing break home is anything but. It’s not just that but the emotional unavailability. It’s the secrecy of hiding drinks etc and so I just feel I’m spending the week cleaning and we might as well be strangers. It’s trying to explain this unavailability to partner of 3 years and his parents. Naturally they want to meet/speak but honestly I don’t think it will happen. She doesn’t make any effort. We had a group chat and so there’s the generic seasonal greetings but nothing more . I had to cover for his recent bday. There was no offer of a contribution etc and it’s hard. I haven’t spoken to anyone about this which adds to the secrecy. I’m tired though. My brother threatened not to see her again at Christmas. I think that was about the drinking but wasn’t there to hear the full conversation. He has since apologised but I really do feel I can’t go back here. I am already agonising over Christmas as last year was just a horrible time. Thanks for reading all of that. It would be good to know if children or relatives of an alcoholic just feel this sense of great loss? I feel like I mourn the loss of the emotionally available parent when they were well. I look at others and crave functional relationships. I just feel it shouldn’t be this hard.

Hi,new here, really struggling with sons drink and drug misuse by

I'm so glad I have found this online chat. I'm not very good with technology so I'm just figuring out my way around it. I have a son who for the past 2 (probably longer actually)years has been using coke and alcohol. He's changed so much its like he's a different person these days, it's torture to watch and I feel all alone trying to cope with this,. I don't have a close family so can't talk to anyone about things but they are aware of how he's changed, and are just critical of me saying I should do this and that but I have no idea what to do its getting worse, he still lives with me. He has a good job which pays well, but when it's his time off he goes out gets wrecked, he's destroying himself, and destroying me having to watch it 😪😪

1 post

My mum won't stop drinking by

Hi, I live alone with my mum and shes constantly drinking. She has always liked a drink however the past 2 years it's become a regular thing. Most days she will drink a lot and it turns her into an angry person. She is always looking for a fight with me and I don't know how to deal with it. I have no one to talk to about it. I've recently dropped out of college because my home situation is messing with my mental health, it's left me feeling so low and depressed. I have mentioned to her about her drinking but this only makes her really angry so I can't say anything anymore. I'm always trying to help her but I can't do it anymore, I'm stuck. She's always trying to get me to have a drink with her and calls me boring because I don't want to. Feeling very lost.

by Megs

10 posts

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