: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

502 threads

3967 posts

my journey with a crack addict by

Hi Guys, I found out a few months ago my boyfriend is taking crack (and to me, is an addict in denial). He has pawned stuff to get it... uses weekly... I've been on a STEEP learning curve and think I've done well to be where I am (all things considered). I don't write this for advice, but if anyone sees themselves in what I write, it may help them. I will make it as short as possible and simply give ... my journey. * Found out partner was on crack cocaine. In shock for a few weeks. * I trawled streets, tracked him down to drug flats, roamed the streets late at night, put myself in danger numerous times, confronted drug people.. * I tried anger, threats, demands, emotional blackmail... tears.. guilt... shame... nothing made him stop. * I stopped being angry. I stopped taking it personally. I started detatching myself from it. * I've had constant ups and downs - days I would contact him and beat myself up for being weak. Then I'd be strong for a week or so, and let him do what he wants to do. Then I'd worry he was dead or OD'd somewhere and contact him. It's a cycle. If I didn't contact him, he would contact me. My last low point my birthday. I'd spent £100's on this man. He couldn't even get me a present. When I think of the thousands he's spent on that crap. Eventually when he had a period of sobriety, he gave me a present and card... them lapsed a few days later. * I've confronted one guy who won't leave him alone. It causes a massive argument and I left. When my boyfriend used the evening, he blamed me and called me a 'F***ing C***.' So I am now on the end of his anger and abuse. I walked out (luckily we don't live together). I haven't contacted him since. I don't really know what stage I am at now. I don't even know if I can say we are together. I am a realistic. I expect the worse and he has never let me down so far - with his using and pathetic excuses and apologies. But I feel strong.. stronger every time.. until I hope to get the point where I walk away for good. I see nothing but misery and futility with an addict.. and wonder what others' experiences are. Thanks for reading x

Boyfriend cheated on me with an escort under the influence of substance by

Hello. Not sure where to start from. After 18 months in a relationship; I find myself leaving him and it falls so hard on my heart. Prior to meeting him, I had no clue how a person under addiction looked like or behaved. I learned all his behaviors and understood using it when he lost his mom, but i never thought that he will be craving for it every 6 months to a year. I forgave him a few things done under the influence as i got to know him inside. I knew he needed help; he asked for it himself and i had faith. He started outpatient treatments and he is so charismatic and caring when not being under the substance influence; everyone loves him. I started having self esteem issues as he tempted to do sexting online when he would use it, and caught him and it was hard for me to trust him, but i did find the trust through belief and faith. Well; treatments have been helping him and he was being as a person whom i fell in love with the first time i met him and felt connected to through his eyes / soul. He went on a trip ten days ago, and prior to the trip i got upset seeing my friend bringing weed into our home. My boyfriend cut even weed to almost none for almost 2 months. He used the situation against me as we had a huge argument before he left on the work trip out of state. I was under impression we talked it over during his long trip , but i found out that he used drugs on the 2nd day being in that city and went with one escort. I was so crushed. He tried to call me every day to explain that he had no sexual intimacy, but just a bj and i was disgusted to hear it. I found myself in shock. 2-3 days of trying not to talk to him and finally i chose to listen and it sounded that we were talking more normal and i almost wanted to look it over as i know it was the substance. That same day he stayed in a hotel and not calling as promised so i felt it that he was using drugs constantly and that he could have been with some woman/ call it woman intuition especially if one knows her man well like i do know him. At that moment it was my intuition / an assumption. Days were passing by with arguments back and forth and me not wanting to answer his phone calls. Finally i did today. We spoke calm way and even there was a smile on our faces. I noticed that he was on drugs again and i was harsh friendly and compassionate if that makes sense. He thanked me for being understanding and promised that he wont use it again and regretted as i told him that he can pick up his stuff when he returns as i will pack them organized. I even said that he could stay for a few days under the same roof until he finds another accommodation. After having that talk; he kept on calling me and asking where i was; and it came another shock to be shared. That hotel night, my intuition did not lie; he admits to me that he had sex with another escort and that he had a blast and that he was under influence and that he thought that i dumped him because of the bj one and that i hated him. He wanted to share all this with me to get it off his chest as he felt guilty, but he does not say sorry at all; but he asked me to look at my heart for forgiveness; that he knows that i will leave him if he would cheat on me. He started explaining how it meant nothing to him, and how he wanted to be in control and how he regrets especially after i put it in stone to pick up his stuff after return. He started blaming me for things how h was not happy and a few hours prior to it he said how he was just sabotaging himself knowing that he wanted to spend his life with me, but thought that his substance addiction will never end although his treatment was going well. I feel that i am still in shock like i experienced trauma. I started even looking for answers if it is considered cheating when doing it with an escort. I couldnt believe to myself reading it. I came across from your chat blog . Please help me to cope this and to shake me up if i should consider forgiving him? Honestly i can not believe that i am considering it; but i know if there was no for substance he would not have done it; but i think he took the drugs in purpose in order to go with an escort. Please share your opinion what i should do; if i should look for that forgiveness or i should just leave as i have started to pack? Thank you 🙏🏻

by Esta

11 posts

Advice please by

Hello all I just came across this forum and am posting as I need some help from somewhere. I don't know what to do about my partners drinking. Bit of background. Not long after we got together I got pregnant and we now have a 6 month old. He moved in with me just before she was born as we were going to try and be a family. Anyway, basically, every night that he can (so not the nights he actually works nightshifts) he will drink. The minimum is about 2 or 3 cans and the maximum I have counted is a whole bottle of red wine and 7 cans/ bottles of beer. He is slightly affected by this amount in that his speech is ever so slurred but other than that he can take that amount really well. Last week he went out drinking all day (well, 9 hours or so) and the next evening he had a bottle of wine and 7 beers. I couldn't believe it. I honestly thought he might give it a break that night, but no, he couldn't. Last night after work he had 2 bottles and tonight as he doesn't have to be up tomorrow I am certain he will be up to 7 or 8 beers with an entire bottle of wine. I get that people drink to wind down etc but it's literally every night that he can. There may have been 1 or 2 nights since he has been here that he hasn't drunk. I also think the amount he drinks is insane- he is easily on over 70 units a week if not more. I am starting to resent him even more as he will often leave our baby crying next to him while he opens a beer and scrolls through his phone. I hate it. I also get the impression he thinks I am weird that I don't drink (well, maybe one at Christmas and my birthday but that's it) as he asked me the other day why I don't go out drinking in the day. I am certain he thinks I am boring and no fun. But hey I am me and I am happy to be me! He also puts quite a bit of pressure on me to exercise. Post baby I am keen to get back in shape but I find it so hypocritical that he is on at me about not stretching and exercising enough when he pours poison into his body every night (and cigarettes when he goes out drinking too). My father was an alcoholic and my mum took us away from him so I never had to experience it. But his sister (my auntie) also was and I have seen it first hand and it frightens me. My father was never in my life but got in touch when I was a young adult to say he was dying from liver cancer and three other cancers. I am torn because I hate how much he drinks. I have told him I think he drinks too much but his reaction was basically nothing- in that he isn't going to change. I don't want my child to grow up around it yet I don't want her to have to split her time between two homes. I want to do the right thing for her and so any advice anyone can give would be most appreciated. Many thanks

by MeStre

10 posts

Cocaine Addiction - Feeling lost, alone and pretty helpless by

Hi All, I am here as I do not know where else to turn! Up until a year ago I had never tried recreational drugs other than cannabis, I then hit 38 and randomly craved Cocaine, I then broke both wrists and used it combined with alcohol to ease the pain. I am female, have a wonderful Husband and children and am disgusted by my behaviour, it feels like I am in self destruct mode. I don't even enjoy using it. Since the lockdown my use has become more frequent every other day and I only use it if I drink alcohol. Alcohol has always been my crutch and now it triggers cocaine use. I wish more than anything that I could go back in time to that first night and never have tried it in the first place. I have not hidden the fact from anyone in fact I have been honest throughout. I don't want to be that person I look at in the mirror any longer after a bender. I spent 4 years rebuilding a new me after a breakdown and feel all my work is unravelling. I have a septum perforation which I have told no one about but is worrying me constantly, worry leads to alcohol, alcohol leads to cocaine. I know what I need to do and that is to simply stop - I just feel so lost. I was once the person who helped others with drug problems and in a year I have turned into that person needing help. Any advice would be welcomed and recovery stories, I cannot go on like this any longer, my family deserve better and so do I. Many thanks for listening.

Can moving away help you quit? by

Just curious if anyone ever experienced this themselves, or knows someone who was able to quit by moving to a new country or state. My boyfriend hasn’t done cocaine for a couple weeks due to moving out of state. He’s happier and doing things for his life that he wasn’t before. I just have this fear in the back of my mind that all he has to do is meet that one person who’ll reconnect him back to drugs. But with enough willpower, maybe he won’t allow it?

1 post

How long does this shaking last? by

Hi I've been on morphine prescribed medication for 10 years and I've been weaned off it for the the last 6 months.after month 3 I was on a small dose and couldn't cope after the doc said they couldn't increase it.so I took extra and my docs wouldn't give me more after telling every lie why I needed more. Worst excuses ever. Anyways I'm going off subject.i started smoking herorin 3 months ago. And now I really want to be rid of the stuff. I've been off herorin for 4 days now and nothing seems to be getting easier. Can't stop shaking and feeling anxious. I actually found a wrap of herorin yesterday under my chair and it was so hard not to touch it. I just threw it down the toilet in the end. But now I'm wondering if I had taken that one wrap would it have taken the edge off or just made me worse again. I so badly need to be off this. I've made my self financially on my arse. Borrowed money off everybody I know and can't pay back. How many days after taking herorin does this cold turkey stop. Any help from any other herorin addict would be most appreciated thank-you.

1 post

Herion addiction by

I just need somebody to talk to my boyfriend has been a herion addict for 23 years he smokes it.. he’s been clean for six months now which is good.we have been together 9 years but the last six months have been really hard it just seems he doesn’t care about me now he clean from herion he said to me doesn’t love me and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me it just seems like I was good enough for him when he was smoking herion but now he stopped he doesn’t want me

by JEM

2 posts

We use optional analytics cookies to help us improve our site by collecting and reporting anonymous information on how you use it.