: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

502 threads

3967 posts

Partners/parents of addicts- have you accessed support for your mental health? by

Hi everyone, I'm married to a cocaine addict who is in recovery and has doing pretty well for the last few months. I thought I would get to a better place mentally with time but I'm really not improving. My emotions are all over the place and my head still lives in the time where he was using all the time, stealing money etc- not sure if that makes sense. I'm still always on edge, checking where he is, checking bank apps etc. I guess I've got to the point where I accept I might need some help with my mental health but in the whole 3/4 years it's been going on I've not spoken to anyone about his addiction (except on here). It feels huge and scary to talk to someone about it. Where do I start? Has anyone got experiences of how they took the first step? Thanks X

Advice please - kids by

I separated from my husband 3 months ago due to his addiction to snorting his prescription meds. Since the split he spiralled out of control he’s been taking cocaine also, though I don’t know if this is a new thing or not. I’ve had to call the police several times, first time he was hinting he was going to kill himself, second he came to the house spying through windows then crashed the car. Third time I discovered he had installed listening devices in my living room and bedroom. Since this I’ve told him I don’t want him here anymore. Problem is we have 2 kids together who he’s not really seen in 6 weeks. He keeps pushing to see them, I organised a few hours at his sisters with her supervision but he’s pushing to see them alone and pushing to come in and sort out all of his belongings I asked him to come with someone but apparently this is too degrading for him. He’s very good at acting as though he’s ok for periods of time, he’s been going to meetings (he says) he says he’s as clean as he’s going to get (still smoking weed). He blames me for everything and can’t understand why I don’t want to be with him. I just don’t know what to do he can get very aggressive but he can’t see this himself. I don’t want to keep him and the kids separated forever but don’t trust him alone with them, he says things to the youngest who’s 5 to make her upset he’s not coming home instead of making it ok for her. I find it really hard to fight him but don’t know where to go from here.


3 posts

Is he using cocaine ? Denial by

My partner has been displaying some signs I believe are linked to cocaine abuse he is flat out denying that he’s ever taken it and calling me crazy for thinking it . I have seen white powder round his nostril on a Number of occasions now each time he makes some ridiculous excuse such as it’s from the cold when it’s pure white powder residue . His eyes are really shiny his moods are erratic one minute he comes over all talkative and high energy .The next day he’s always tired moody and he’s rubbing his neck and complaining of body aches . He frequently hangs around with people who use coke and crack he gets paranoid verbally abusive and argumentative. I have confronted him he denies ever touching cocaine and gets angry with me He disappears with coke addicts and the scenario is always the same he comes over happy high energy talkative then the next day completely switches to moody argumentive and begins to complain he doesn’t feel well and is always rubbing his neck which is totally knotted. It’s become a frequent pattern of behaviour I’ve noticed especially with the flu like symptoms and mood swings. It’s causing huge rows as everything I see points to cocaine but he denies it and becomes angry . I would really like some opinions on this from people with experience of cocaine addiction/use

by Mariaf

6 posts

Boyfriend drinks too much by

Hi, this is my first post. For a year now ive lived with my boyfriend. Before we moved in i didnt realise the extent of his drinking. When we first moved in he was drinking every night, at the very least a bottle of wine a night but on werkends it could be up to 15 beers a night. Although hes cut back marginally hes still drinking alot. He holds down a stable job because he only drinks during the weekends, but he drinks from friday-sunday and i spend my own weekends looking after him, taking on his chores, putting him to bed etc. Im just so exhausted with the way he's acting. In the past 2 days he has drank a bottle of wine, 8 beers and a full litre of vodka. Once he starts drinking he cant stop until he passes out, which is how i found him this morning. Normally when he wakes up still drunk, he reaches for another drink to 'avoid a hangover'. He denies having any sort of dependancy on alcohol. I feel like im fighting a losing battle. He has grown up with alcohol dependant parents, his siblings drink as much as he does. His close friends drink alot as well. I feel like they all encourage him and tell him his drinking is normal when it isnt. His mum rings him and they compare how drunk they were the night before and talk about what theyll drink that night. He thinks this is normal, and that im the one being unreasonable. How can i get through to him?

Parent with an addiction problem by

Hi, Sorry to start a new post. I wasn't really sure how this all works. I was wondering if anyone on here has any advise regarding a parent having an addiction problem. This parent has been addicted to both drugs and alcohol, on and off since I was very young. They went to a rehab and mental health home for a while when I was younger and I was put into care. I am now a lot older, but there addiction continues to rule and I don't know what to do anymore.

husband with meth addiction by

im confused not knowing what decision to make we're together for 12 years married to 10, he was insecure about our age difference (i,m 10 years older) we.re from different back grounds non the less we fell for each other deeply l reassured him but he always felt like he didn't deserve me , when we married he didn't tell me that he had someone in another country that he kept in contact when l found this out l left him and checked out emotionally l agreed with him that l was too good for him, after giving him another chance years later, l started noticing a change a year ago he was losing weight not eating, starting hanging out taking trips without me, staying out overnight when l called him out on it he said that l was being a nag that he felt like he wanted to be free l was heartbroken l thought that he met and wanted to be with another woman l moved out cut off all contact but came back after 2 weeks l was going through the mail one day and found a transaction to another woman this was all that l needed to end it and leave l confronted him he became very angry stating that l invaded his privacy it was then that he told me of his addiction and scrolling the web hooking up with random women lying making false promises and even impregnating 2 of them keeping his identity secret his self esteem have always been low l could no longer look at him he was someone l did not recognize he said that hes ashamed unable to face me embarrassed of how far hes fallen into a dark hole and unable to forgive himself its been months since the betrayal l now feel sorry for him that he have gotten himself in should an ordeal ....any similar stories l want to help him but feel like a fool for even entertaining the thought,

A partner feeling lost and hopeless by

I just need some sort of verification that I'm not alone. He is so sweet when he isn't drinking. Last night in a fit he threatened to harm himself with a pair of scissors. I took this morning off work and missed out on about 200$ that was VERY needed in our budget... To make sure that he doesn't harm himself. I can't call an ambulance or anything else for him because he isn't supposed to be drinking at all, and it can cause him severe legal issues. I love him so much but this is the first partner I've ever had who is verbally abusive to me. He makes me feel stupid and calls me names, and makes everything seem like my fault. I always somehow am "hurting him". He gets drunk and doesn't make sense and then blames me for being unable to communicate. I don't want to tell anyone around me because I don't want to lose him... But I'm beginning to feel hopeless. For 4 full hours until midnight last night he yelled at me, spoke to me like I'm a moron, even called me a c*nt. He has been physical before like grabbing my head by my hair once, and once pushing me into a door, after holding me by a bandana I had been wearing around my neck. Last night almost got there when I tried to take the scissors away. He's in therapy but not addiction support. He thinks this isn't a problem. I need help... But moreso, I need to feel like I'm not worthless and a failure anymore. :(

Meth addicted boyfriend by

Hello, I’m new here, and really just needed somewhere to talk. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we got together really young & and we just welcomed our first child into the world! I’ll start by saying I’ve always loved him very much & I still do, but I don’t know how much more I can take. When he’s clean he’s the most awesome person I’ve ever met, last year he was clean for a few months and it was amazing! Unfortunately he relapsed last year and hasn’t looked back nor does he want to stop. Not only does he have crazy mood swings, he’s emotionally so abusive, and he criticizes every single thing I do for my son.. but if I say anything to him I get threats. I’ve loved him for so long and I also don’t want to be a single mom but I don’t know how much more I can take, honestly if it weren’t for my son I don’t know if I’d even still be here. I don’t know where this was going I guess I just wanted to get something off my mind.

Partner always throws up and reeches when he’s on cocaine by

Hiya, my partner has been a cocaine user for nearly 3 years and does it often, he’s trying to get help at the moment but he is vomiting all the time he does it or before he goes out to get it when he tells me he’s going to the shop he starts reeching, anyone else have this effect who has used? I’m just worried about him as I’m trying to get him the best help I can to stop but he users roughly 4 nights a week and it’s hard to try help him. Thank you

1 post

Anyone relate tho these addiction behaviours by

Right does anyone relate to these behaviours from addicted loved one They lie They don't tell you where they are They don't answer the phone They make you think it's all your fault You cant trust anything they say They are a shell of the person you remember They push blame onto you to people who don't know what's really going on They do things that they would of never done before to hurt you They don't have any empthay for your feelings They are very selfish They manipulate you for money then when they have what they want , they don't want to know you Please add to these

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