: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

101 threads

710 posts

New to the forum by

Hello everyone I'm new to this forum and was looking to find some people to talk to about my situation who are going through the same thing as well to maybe get some help or advice about well anything really.. I've been addicted to coke for nearly a year now had been doing it before that but only on weekends or nights out then it obviously spiraled out of control.. just wanted to see if there was anyone here I could just have a chat with really. Thanks

by Hox

16 posts

Help PLEASE by

Desperate need for advise, I feel like I’m going insane. So my boyfriend of a year drinks and does cocaine. This happens about 3-4 times and week and it’s excessive. Everytime he does this it gets to a certain point of the evening and he will ignore my texts, calls etc this happens on a regular basis. When confronted the next day he will say he started to prang out so ignored me. Yesterday for example he said he was leaving his mates and he will text when home, I said “ok cool I’ll call you” then surprise surprise nothing. I asked him this morning and he said he didn’t text because then I’d call and he was paranoid due to the coke. Now this all seems like pure shit to me. I’ve told him just to text saying home or he is paranoid etc etc. Is he bullshitting me and up to something else because something isn’t sitting right. HELP any advise please

Help me understand cocaine addiction please. by

Last year on july 2018 my couple start saying I had cheated on him ... I came home and one day found cocaine on the table, now after that he said he had been using it for two years, he had always smoked weed and drink.. at least ome drink a day.... Anyways. On july last year everything went to hell , he treated me horrible, came home inspecting all my clothes saying I had cheated, he would even inspect every wall with a flashlight and say that I had cleaned marks. Is this normal when you are under cocaine influence , I have cero idea of how to deal with this. Please share anything ...

Partner of 1 year is an alcoholic by

Hi, I'm new here. I'm really struggling. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. At Christmas he got tangled in a web of lies and he finally told me has a problem. He downplayed it. Since then it's quite quickly become worse. He lives 90 miles away and gets lonely. He's been looking for a job so he can be closer. Last week he turned up smelling if alcohol. So he'd driven 90 miles over the limit. He'd been acting strange that week. He owned up to calling into work sick, and drinking all day every day. He had shakes over the weekend. I've been in 2 abusive relationships and I like my space and need trust. He is quite needy. I told him I find him smothering. This resulted in him spending Money to Thurs completely wasted. It only stopped because I called the police. He's now seeking help and has an assessment due on Friday. He sent me a lot of horrible messages when he was drunk but I didn't retaliate. He has now apologised a couple of times by text. Firstly I'm pretty hurt - he has called his parents and apologised profusely. He wasn't even rude to them in the first place. I feel guilty because I'm angry at him. I feel smothered and not listened to. My emotions change hourly. I am totally exhausted. His dad told me it's been a problem for 15 years and he's never dealt with it. He's asked if I still love him. Right now I'm so numb I'm not sure what I feel for him. I felt I had to tell him I love him because otherwise he'll relapse. And then I resent him for that. I'm trying so hard to be empathetic but it's very difficult when I've been lied to for over a year. I have realised now that there have been so many occasions in the last year when he's been drunk and lied to me. Does anyone else feel angry and resentful? How do you cope? Help! Thanks

Husband with alcohol, anxiety and depression - Just needed to reach out by

Apologies for the long outpouring but this has been inside a long time. My husband suffers from anxiety, depression and he has self medicated with alcohol a for years, probably since before we met if I am honest. Living with Jekyll and Hyde, lovable but constant lies, my best friend one minute then spitting at me the next, blaming me for all the wrongs in his life but then saying he cant live without me remembering nothing of what is said and done in drink and sometimes stating things that never actually happened as fact, so sincere that i have been almost convinced they did. We had been together for 14 years, married 10 (no children fortunately / unfortunately depending on who i speak to - personally I would have loved to have been a mum, with him a sober dad) and then I told him I could no longer be with him - this was 18 months ago, we are both now in our early 40's. I left my best friend and my soul mate, the love of my life, we had named the children that it turned out we would never have, and there is not one day that i don't both regret and celebrate that decision. I hated what drink did to him, to us. Walking on egg shells, not knowing the person i would come home to, wake up with or some days not know who I was talking with minute from minute. 2 things pushed me towards my decision to leave I was going through fertility treatment which caused some awful side effects - he was advised not to drink during the time. He suggested we might try IVF rather than him going sober and trying naturally. I stopped the treatment, if he couldn't be responsible for conception, how would he be responsible for a baby / a child? Secondly - my dad passed away - dad and my husband were great friends and he even spoke at the funeral. But because of what he did and said while drunk the night before I can never forgive him completely. He got so drunk he couldn't speak or walk, cracked his head on the floor falling out of bed and decided that the reason it happened was because I must have pushed him - despite me being in another room preparing a photo board for the funeral. He ranted raved and told me i was worthless, should fk off and my dad was a much better person then me... maybe he was right, but i had lost my dad, i have never before needed support as much as i did at that time. My mum was admitted to hospital with fatigue and ill health the day after my dad died and she was just about able to make the funeral. (which was 21st December) My husband does not accept that drink was the reason we split - he accepts 'a mutual parting of ways, a new frontier of the soul mate continuum' - even though i have described both of the above as the final straws. We now live separately, however I still talk to him every day, and see him at least once a week. We still get on well when he is sober (ish), and when he is in drink (until I leave to go home) and I really would do anything for him but I can not live with him and the drink anymore. There is one family member of his who still talks to me - his mum - his dad and brother blame me for our problems and my nieces have been told that i no longer exist, they are 5 and 8. His mum and me keep an eye on him, try and make sure he keeps on top of bills, household tasks, looking after himself and we keep in touch with each other when his mental health takes a dip, he goes missing or phones one of us up suicidal - She only realised the extent of the problem of drink with her son when we separated and I wasn't managing him anymore, so now we do try to support each other a bit. However it is a delicate relationship as he needs to be able to offload about his 'smother' to me and to her about his 'nosy ex wife' He does not want help from professionals - counsellers are all crap, the GP prescribed him anti depressants which he took for 2 days but as he was told he couldn't drink on them, decided after two days they weren't working and went back to drinking (2 days is all he has ever managed (at a time) alcohol free in at least the last 8 years) drug and alcohol services are a no go for him as I am a specialist drug and alcohol social worker and no matter how much i have impressed confidentiality on him, he doesn't believe me. I have to ignore it when he is drunk, he always tries to pretend he is sober and if I don't go along with the story the aggression flares. I think he actually gets to the point where he believes his own lies. Filling in the swiss cheese of his memory with fantasy and bearable truths. He recently lost his job (6 months after separating)as he tested over the limit for alcohol at 8am at work when he was on shift. I suspect that it was a targeted test as he has been going into work smelling of booze from the night before for years. When we lived together, although it would cause arguments, at least i could stop him drinking by pretending i had drunk the last of the booze and he would just have to go to bed. He has lost loads of weight, his mental health is terrible and now he is depriving himself of sleep (this is the newest one, that i really don't know how to handle). He has a new girlfriend (long distance) and when he is with her i breath a sigh of relief as someone else is there to take care of him and I am less worried for a while. She seems to think his drinking is just social and he is the funny life and soul of the party that he always was. But when he is alone again he cant deal with his demons. I have a new boyfriend who is lovely. He knows about and supports my decision to continue the friendship with and support my husband. I am so scared my husband will kill himself either by taking his own life while under the influence, driving drunk, (terrified he will kill someone else too) or by malnutrition - i feel like i have tried everything, (personally, professionally, emotionally, practically) I feel guilty for having left, i don't know what to do for the love of my life - i want to fight those demons for him but know I cant. Even though leaving was one of the toughest decisions I have made, i suspect my journey with drink is not over, it has just changed.

Homeless son by

My son is 21 and currently homeless. He has been using drugs from the age of 13 starting with cannabis and then in the last few years anything that he can get his hands on. He has lived in various supported housing due to poor mental health but due to his chaotic behaviour and violent outbursts he has been evicted many times. He literally lives from moment to moment and doesn’t care about his health as long as he can get high. He is very vulnerable and gets beaten up regularly by people he tries to sell drugs to or buy drugs off. I have to put in firm boundaries and hope that the more uncomfortable he feels the more likely he is to want to make changes. I work in drug and alcohol services as a recovery worker and see my clients that behave exactly the same way as my son and it goes on for years. Pain is a catalyst for change and I refuse to be a buffer for my sons rock bottom. It’s easier said than done and I feel really guilty a lot of the time but I know I am doing the right thing. I hope he will reach out to services that can help him and turn his life around.

by Cfer

4 posts

Husband in rehab for alcohol by

Hi I’m new hear and feel as if I am losing my mind ... I have had a really bad year due to my husbands alcohol addiction we have separated 4 times in the last year due to his drinking and lies ... it gets so bad that when we separate he drinks himself into such a state he gets kept in hospital due to withdrawals and seizures he get detoxed in hospital get discharged and the stay sober for a while while living in his mums then I start to see the person I fell in love with and bring him home .. it’s all good for a few months then the signs come back ( finding empty bottles about the house and the lies start all over again ) and we are back to me like a woman posses screaming and shouting putting him out and we are back in the vicious circle again of binges, hospital again .. we have been together 26 yrs and have 2 kids .. he is a great guy when not drinking he HAD a good job was a good provider until his last binge 7 weeks ago ... now I am in a financial mess trying to keep everything going and he is in rehab but why I’m posting is while he is in there fighting his own demons I’m out here angry full of resentment and disappointed we are here again he has called me and I can’t bear to hear his voice cause of what he has done to me and the kids again .. he is due out next month and talking about how he is going to change and when he come home things will be different but I have heard it all before and I’m so confused and bitter I can’t think clearly I don’t know what to do .. do I let him come home I don’t trust him or believe anything he says because I have heard it all before and we end up back here again but he will be homeless if he doesn’t come home and it could send him back to drink but his attitude is making me so bad cause he thinks cause he is in rehab he deserves a pat on the back and everything has to be forgotten but I can’t forget what he had done to us and our marriage ... I keep telling myself do I fling 26 yrs away for the sake of 1 bad year ... I just want someone to tell me that a marriage can be saved after rehab but while I’m so angry hurt and resentful I can’t see how it could work ... sorry for the long post my head is all over the place

Heavy binge drinker by

Hi, I’m new here and I’m sharing some thoughts that I’ve never expressed to anybody before. I would be so grateful for some insight. My other half is the sweetest person I know and doesn’t drink often. However when she does drink, she really goes to town and gets ‘blackout’ drunk where she doesn’t remember the things she’s said or done. One of the things that I’ve experienced is that she tends to say very hurtful things about how she feels I’m not worth it when she gets to that stage of drunkenness. When I confront her when she’s sober, she says that she honestly doesn’t know why she would say those things to me, because they are genuinely not her real thoughts. I know my friends say silly things whilst drunk, and I can look past it, but it does hurt coming from my partner and I am afraid when she gets too drunk that she’ll say hurtful things again. My questions are as follows: 1) has anybody experienced this kind of situation before and what came out of it? 2) it’s obviously very difficult to say, but are those really her thoughts? I’ve done some research and I’ve learned that alcohol inhibits emotions and that the surroundings will often their mood 3) is there a solution to this? How can I help her control her drinking? Thanks very much in advance.

Help with getting off codeine by

Hi everyone I’m looking for some help with getting off codeine. I have been taking codeine on and off now for a good eight years I would say. At the moment I take zapain Anything between 15 and 20 tablets a day Which I get from my doctor. I also usually order 200 dihydrcodeine a month from the online doctor. When I run out I usually buy new N+ and Co-Codamol and take them together just to try and boost the codeine up. I want so much to be able to stop taking the codeine but the main problem is for me depression whenever I come off of it. It’s something that I can’t cope with. I found the codeine really helps with just feeling numb I guess the word is. I have a lot of stress in my life at the moment and the codeine usually helps with that. I’m really scared of going to my GP and explaining to them as I’ve had a bad experience in the past when I tried to talk to my GP many years ago. My partner is brilliant and even though I have told him about my troubles he doesn’t realise how bad it actually is. At the moment he thinks I’m managing it which clearly I’m not. I really don’t know what to do. ????

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

So it’s nearly 4am and for the second night I’m in bed and my boyfriend is downstairs awake. I know he’s done cocaine. He thinks I can’t tell but who would still be up now. It’s obvious he just can’t sleep because of it. He was up all night last night and slept all day. I feel like I’m single. I can’t seem to break myself out of his cycle. I have never taken drugs but I can completely understand his situation but the broken promises and the debt I’m now in because of this. I am now depressed. I had counselling as I thought it would help me to help him but I can’t afford that anymore. He tells me he will get help and writes these lists to say he’s helping himself but nothing happens and it just gets worse again.