: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

Drugs, alcohol and mental health

62 threads

394 posts

Help please by

My son has been diagnosed with eupd and was taking cocaine earlier in the year to try and help. He saw a psychiatrist in may after a 5 month wait who diagnosed him and was told 'see you in a few months'. After a lot of arguing, self harm and a drug driving charge i finally thought we had got some improvement and that he was getting stronger. I have just found scales and 4 little bags in his room all empty so am assuming he's taking again. He's really struggled with Christmas, we always do since losing his little brother. I don't know what to do, he won't talk to me and denies everything. How can i get through to him? Please help

Sheila by

I am struggling with fear and hope. My son is 5 months dry, he is out of his fifth rehab but this time it is different,he is beginning to find a new way to live. But it is hard and I am on edge every time the phone rings, terrified it is his sponsor telling me he has relapsed again. And, to be honest, I just dont think I could cope, I do not think I can face all the horror again. My son is 37, he has been struggling with alcohol for 20 years but this past 5 years have been horrendous. After a breakdown 5 years ago he became an alcoholic hell bent on personal destruction. He nearly achieved this, I am not quite sure how he is still here. But what he has achieved, of course, is to destroy his life and lose all those who mattered to him. Such a sad but oh so familiar story, I am sure, to you all. The man he should and could have been, destroyed by this illness and no one with any sympathy because alcoholics are not attractive people, are they? And who knows better than us how utterly vile our loved ones are in the throes of their addictions. We lose them bit by bit, more and more with every bottle or pill or whatever their addiction is. We love them still but struggle with our disgust and anger and shame. We struggle to support them and tread the fine line between support and enabling. And now I find, amazingly, there is still hope but with that hope comes such fear. So how do I manage it? How do I support my son, show him I believe in him, stay positive for him and not get overwhelmed by anxiety and fear? Isnt it funny, if you had told me last year my son could be five months dry I would not have believd you and yet I would have given anything for such a hope. And now I dont know how to manage hope because I am beginning to find my wonderful brave son again who has been lost for so long and I cant bear to lose him now.

by Roundy

4 posts

Prescription opioid addiction by

I am new to this website and forum. We have so many questions as we are in what is to us a totally alien and worrying situation, but it's a situation that I can see is familiar to people posting with such sympathy and humanity on here. Briefly, our son has been on opioids from the GP for several years and he does acknowledge that he's addicted. He is incredibly angry and blames the original GP who put him on this drug. He has a young family whom we see often, although they don't live near us. He has just had a year with basically no work after attempting to be self-employed, and with bits of financial support from both sets of parents he was trying to follow a drug reduction programme (with a different GP) but with only limited success. However because the family was suffering a severe shortage of money he has now accepted quite a well-paid job and is pleased with his situation in many ways-- he certainly seems less depressed now he's not stuck at home and has a bit of money in his pocket. BUT he presented this as "we" (his wife and the wider family) were forcing him to go back to work against his will, so he can't now continue the reduction programme. He told us a while back that the GP had said he wouldn't be able to do the reduction programme and hold down a job. This goes round and round in my head. It seems such an unhelpful thing to have said... but perhaps it's true? So my big, first question on this forum is this: I do realise that reducing is incredibly hard, but can anyone tell me whether it is possible to work and reduce drug dependency at the same time, or is he indeed in an either/or situation? I don't know what to believe.

by

2 posts

Guilt by

First time joining a forum... here goes! Today I had to call the police on my 22 year old son as he trashed his room, was aggressive and threatening to me. This is due to cocaine addiction coupled with Valium addiction which has been going on and off for last 4 years. He has been in and out of young offenders and just two weeks ago spent his first time on remand in the big jail! Out on the Tuesday and back on drugs by the Saturday. This was after promising us me and his dad and also his pregnant girlfriend while he was in jail that his life was changing! However the last fortnight has been the worst by far. He’s never held a job for more than a fortnight, doesn’t pay his way and blatantly tells us he’s taken coke and it’s evident when he’s taken Valium. He does have mental health issues however I believe these have been brought on by the drug abuse. So tonight he is now in police custody facing 7 charges in court tomorrow morning as he started fighting with police! I have made the somewhat difficult decision that this time I will not be visiting him nor speaking to him on the phone as he will almost certainly be jailed. This has not been an easy decision however we have been through hell for four years and for my own health and sanity I need to make this decision. I feel so guilty but I can’t live like this any longer. So very sad.

by

4 posts

My brother won’t admit he’s still using by

Hello, I desperately want to help my brother out of the cocaine hell he is in. He admited to using heavily, earlier this year, after a lot of money went missing. He now insists he is not using but other things have gone missing, and even though he works full-time he never has any money. I know he has not pulled himself out of a habit that saw him using as soon as he woke up to suddenly being drug free. I offered to pay for him to go to rehab, have asked if I can book doctors/counselling for him but he insists he doesn’t have a problem. How can I get him help? How can I get him to stop lying? Any advice would be so gratefully received.

by

9 posts

Sisters by

Hi I am new to this website and have joined for some support and advice if anybody can help. In July My sister admitted to us that she has an addiction to cocaine and she went to a place for help to stop. It’s there duty to inform social services as my sister has 3 children 11,10 and 6. But things are just going from bad to worse. My sister has violent outbursts and swears at her children and she in my eyes has neglected them. Her home is a complete mess and her two older children are living with my mum or stay with me a lot. The younger one doesn’t like leaving my sister and is very clingy. All the children’s behaviour is worrying they are behind in everything at school, have anxiety issues and also aggressive towards one another. One youngest has displayed some sexual behaviour which alarmed me as it was towards my child who is only 3. My sisters children have now been put on child protection as the social worker feels that my sister isn’t making positive steps forwards. And the children are sending mixed messsages about going home to live. She tells us she has stopped the drugs and has cleared up her home And started decorating her children’s bedrooms... so why would the social services put the children under the child protection? I’m worried sick about my mum who’s getting on now and her blood pressure is through the roof even on tablets. I find it so so hard to understand addiction and myself and my mum resent my sister for what she is doing and we feel bad as we cannot get our head round the fact that you will lose your kids if you don’t stop! I really don’t understand an addiction and how it’s more important than your children Thanks x

by Clara1

5 posts

Where to get my son help by

Hi, my son is nearly 27 years old and I don't know what to do or where to get help. For about the last year he has had depression and is on prozac. I have tried to support him emotionally and try to put strategies in place to help him. I couldn't understand why he wasn't following through with anything and getting worse. Anywho, he moved in with my mum briefly who told me she could smell weed. When I asked him about it, it transpires he smokes every night for 4 hours but categorically denies it affects his depression. I just don't know where to turn or what to do, he has given up his job, has no social life, is paranoid and verbally aggressive. This is all made more difficult as my mum has bought him a flat and despite my wishes financially supports him. My son has a Masters and could have a great future but at the moment he's crippled by his depression and habit. I have tried his Dr's and a few agencies but just get told he is an adult. I need to do something but what?

My partner by

I have been with my partner for over a year and i have seen his drinking over the past few months become worse and worse to the point that over a 8 day period he had 6 bottles of brandy (70cl- 1ltr) i try to talk to him about how much he is drinking and he doesnt seem to think it is that much and everytime we talk about it i just get really upset as i dont know how to help him. But its got to the point that i cant even go out with a few friends for tea without getting verbal abuse over text messages. And when lock myself in a room he tries to argue. This is having a toll on our relationship and i dont know what to do.

by

2 posts

drugs have taken over my son by

My son is 26years old who has been using since he was around 12 years old started with cannabis now I believe he is using heroin. He used to steal from the home and smash his room up when he was younger if he didn't get his way. He has had a lot to deal with in his life especially grief of losing his disabled sister and nan with dementia. I have tried to show him there is support available but he refuses, I understand he needs to want the help himself. He struggles with relationship's due to the substance miss use and the girlfriend he has is enabling him. My son was doing well in work but now is unemployed and chooses to beg on the streets and sleep rough. I have stopped giving him money although I do still top up his oyster and pay for his phone bill...Am I doing the right thing as I feel this is the only way I know he can be contacted and get from a to b safely. I am new to this forum and would like to hear from anyone with wise words of support. Thank you

Sisters drug use destroying family by

Hi all, I really don’t where to begin as my sister has been abusing drugs for a long time, however things have got worse recently. She has a young daughter who I currently care for as agreed by social services mum still has Parental Responsibility. She has said a numerous times she’s taking her daughter back but as a family are so concerned As a lot of emotional/mental abuse as well as violence to my niece by sister to ensure she doesn’t say anything to the family and or school and as my niece is a sick child who is also unde the hospital on daily medication which her mother doesn’t give her and stick to the diet the hospital says to keep my niece well as it’s paramount the diet and medication is adhered too. Yet my sister neglects this also my sister has.does use drugs in front of her taken her to buy drugs. Not only this the other things my niece has been exposed too the amount of different people my sister has been in a relationship with be it male or female. I’m so frustrated that social services are not putting my niece at the forefront of all this as they have offered my sister support/help yet my niece has to wait and also the social services are not getting a full picture as at the moment their focus seems to be mum and not the child. I desperately want my sister to get clean/stable as been a long time coming as the person I know she is and who she could be is lost!! She could be the best mummy but drugs/screwing people over/manipulation of others seem to be all consuming of her at the moment and I’m at a loss where to go what to do this is not even touching the surface of everything as I’m sure you all know but I’m wondering if anyone has experience of social services and looking after the drug users children I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense I feel lost/frustrated please any advice would be greatly received