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Share Your Story

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My Codeine problem by

I am writing this as a way to document my progress but also maybe help others. How did I get in this mess? Most people who are addicted to painkillers usually have a 'trigger event' Mine was 3 broken ribs, for which I took co-codamol. I noticed at that time a euphoria and also removal of all the worries. And believe me there are a few: As a parent of 2 small children (2 and 5) with a very demanding job and wife that is retraining and therefore earns very little we have money problems because of a massive mortgage and nearly a grand is paid a month in childcare. I am on my own with the kids most of my waking hours that are not at work, because my wife is a trainee teacher as spends every waking hour lesson planning or marking. She makes £800 a month after tax which is crazy. She works 3.5 days a week and spends the other days socialising. I am trying to be ok with that. Hence Codeine was a form of escape. It took 3 years to get from occasional abuse through to the very serious situation of of taking nearly 600mg codeine a day as codeine phosphate tablets. I found an easy way to get them from online pharmacies. They cost a lot of money and i must have spent 5 grand at least. I also drink a bottle of wine a night and take diazepam too. This situation was obviously unsustainable. But, amazingly no-one knows as far as I am aware. You will be thinking - how could I let this get so bad, but those of you know that codeine resistance builds in plateaus - one day 90mg will do nothing at all and you need to up your dose to get the same feeling. What now I am now absolutely case iron determined to sort this out. Obviously I feel ashamed for spending money like this and being so irresponsible, but that works as a motivator for me now. My taper is going to have a lot of discomfort associated with it - but will drop quite quick then slowly reduce after that. This is mainly because of the expense of the tablets, and because I want to get to a safe dose as quickly as I can. Where am I now? Totady I am down from 600mg to 330mg. This is almost a safe amount to take a day (allegedly 240mg) so that's something. I will now reduce to 90mg a day and then drop 15mg a day. There has been a lot of symptoms - all of the ones you read about. But the worst has been the depression - its been difficult to get out of bed even. Especially as you gather your thoughts and know you face a day of discomfort. I take 5-htp and this helps a lot. Exercise really helps, and vitamin B seems to help too. The other golden rule is to keep continually busy until the end of the day. Having 2 small children and a wife that works all evenings has both filled this time but also made loneliness a bit of an enemy. If there are any positives I have a sex life again and also am enjoying going to the toilet (sorry if this is oversharing). My stomach bloating is massively reduced and I can see my abdominal muscles again. For alcohol - I strictly limit my drinking, but I do allow myself 2 glasses of wine, because its dangerous to stop straight away. After a week, I will cut this out completely - that will save £3 a day (I was buying a bottle a day). The only way I could reduce my drinking was to wait until later in the evening before I started. For me, this is 9pm (we go to bed at 11). Hopefully I can keep posting here as a progress the bumps along the way. I have noticed no two days are the same - some are not too bad - today is OK. Yesterday was terrible. There's only one thing missing for me now - that's someone to talk to. I'm too ashamed to talk to friends so the anonymous forum is worth a try....?

Am I doing the right thing? by

Hi everyone. I guess ill get right into it. My dad is an alcoholic and has been one for around 9 years and is functioning (kind of). He owns a hotel which means alcohol is extremely accessible and there isn’t anything I can really do. He does have his moments of being very drunk, I don’t even think he knows when he goes too far with it. I’m not sure how to help him any more. I’m also not sure my approach is the correct one so was looking for other people’s opinions? Im very laid back with him, as I don’t want to start having him hide alcohol from me and I don’t want him to feel too bad about himself when doing it as I’m aware it is now an illness. However, he does come to me and say he knows he has a problem and is always saying he’s ‘cutting back’. But this tends to fall through which is going to happen with him having the hotel I guess. His girlfriend takes a very different approach and gives him a real hard time over it and get very embarrassed when he’s seen as drunk which seems to have a different effect and makes him feel really bad about himself and he hides the drink from her. They don’t sell the hotel and get him help which I don’t understand. She thinks that I encourage my dad to drink and has said this before which I don’t believe because of my approach. I don’t think I do. I find that my dad comes to me and confides in me how he’s feeling but it leaves me unable to do a lot for him with it being so accessible and then I advise him on what I think and tell him he needs to do it for him. I don’t know which approach is better. I am in my early 20’s and have only seen non functioning alcoholics so far in my life but this is somewhat inbeteeen but is a problem. Is the laid back approach next to useless (or encoraging)? or do be a bit harsher maybe? Just feeling a bit useless at the moment. And what do I advise him when he opens up to me?

1 post

feeling involved- but I'm not. by

hello. please don't judge me. I come from a loving home and family, I'm 28. I have a 2 year old with my husband of 7 years. his parents died when he was 12. simce, he has struggled with PTSD and depression. hes got himself into heavy debt, and as a way out, I think he has turned to selling drugs. he is not at home often, he has nothing around our child, doesn't smoke near her but visibly needs help. I know he has struggled before with cocaine. I am in no way shape or form, involved with what he gets up too outside of our home, but I feel like because I have a very good feeling he is up to no good , it makes me feel involved. this upsets me, I cannot find a way to leave this man. does this make sense ?

ADHD, Autism and drug misuse by

I am so worried about my son, he is 17 years old and has autism, ADHD and has now turned to drugs. We have had 2 years of him being suicidal, admitted to hospital 7 times, nights of him wandering the streets. He was desperate to find friends and now has friends who are under age who deal and use on a daily basis. My son has not been able to attend school very much over the last 2 years because of his mental health problems. my husband is so sad and shutdown he doesn't want to speak about what has happened to our family. My son has had meltdowns and borken things around our house, stolen money, broken into our safes, he is highly impulsive and emotional. His life has reduced to drug use only. We have tried so hard to support him to get involved in things but nothing has worked. I feel very sad and hopeless and powerless to do anything.

1 post

My brother is ex addict by

My older brother is an an ex addict well I hope he is he as already been to prison for drugs and was on tag, he as 2 kids one of which he missed so many milestones for because of prison. He has done it again he as made me cry again and I very doubt it will be the last, my mother is always going him money most of the time behind my dads back because he doesn’t approve, I have just overheard a phone call where my mum said she gave him her Christmas spending money so now she doesn’t have much and she has 4 grandkids, 5 kids and other family members to buy presents for and I just feel so guilty because I’m asking for presents that are expensive like a record player and records and I don’t even know I feel like that because it’s his fault not mine. I’m not really on here asking for help I just wanted to share my story to try and make me feel better and it did.

by

2 posts

Prescription opioid drug addiction by

I am new to this website and forum. We have so many questions as we are in what is to us a totally alien and worrying situation, but it's a situation that I can see is familiar to people posting with such sympathy and humanity on here. Briefly, our son has been on opioids from the GP for several years and he does acknowledge that he's addicted. He is incredibly angry and blames the original GP who put him on this drug. He has a young family whom we see often, although they don't live near us. He has just had a year with basically no work after attempting to be self-employed, and with bits of financial support from both sets of parents he was trying to follow a drug reduction programme (with a different GP) but with only limited success. However because the family was suffering a severe shortage of money he has now accepted quite a well-paid job and is pleased with his situation in many ways-- he certainly seems less depressed now he's not stuck at home and has a bit of money in his pocket. BUT he presented this as "we" (his wife and the wider family) were forcing him to go back to work against his will, so he can't now continue the reduction programme. He told us a while back that the GP had said he wouldn't be able to do the reduction programme and hold down a job. This goes round and round in my head. It seems such an unhelpful thing to have said... but perhaps it's true? So my big, first question on this forum is this: I do realise that reducing is incredibly hard, but can anyone tell me whether it is possible to work and reduce drug dependency at the same time, or is he indeed in an either/or situation? I don't know what to believe.

1 post

Dihydrocodeine and me by

Hi everyone, for the past two years I have been addicted to dihydrocodeine. My addiction began after i started getting strange and excruciating pains after taking a laxative, I now get the pains every time I over eat, the doctor can't give me a proper diagnosis as he is unsure of what is causing the pain, I've had lots of different explanations which all came back negative, I've tried umpteen different painkillers which have been prescribed but dihydrocodeine is the only one that fully takes the pain away. when i got the pain and took the dihydrocodeine it was a euphoric feeling as it took the pain away. I did use them correctly to begin with but I began to enjoy that euphoric feeling and began misusing them. I'm now at the stage I get 200 every month from the doctor and I have taken those 200 within a week and a half, taking 20+ a day! I mix them with my pregablin and energy drinks and they make me feel on top of the world like i am invincible I can do anything. I need help, I'm afraid to go to the doctor as this demon drug is the only painkiller I've had take the pain away so I am afraid the doctor will stop my script and I'll be in agony constantly. I've came clean and told my fiance what's been going on and he's agreed to lock away my script unless I really need it. I Live in Scotland in the Clackmannanshire area, does anyone know of any support groups etc? I'm at my wits end I am fully aware of all the damage these "drugs" are causing my body but yet when i get my script i can't help myself from taking them, please help me!

New to this devastation. My son and cocaine by

We were absolutely devastated to find out our 22yr old son has a cocaine addiction. He had huge money problem as a result and we have paid out £1000s as he was in serious trouble. He is slowly paying it back but his use continues. We get a couple of clean weeks and then it all starts again. We dread the weekends and feel so stressed and ashamed that we seem to have failed him completely and don’t know why. He is so aggressive, anxious, depressed at times and lies constantly We have three other children who have all graduated from university and are doing well. We feel destroyed and can see no way out. Where did we go wrong ????

by Lime18

27 posts