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1725 threads

8620 posts

Powerless by

I have posting about my son who has relapsed after 2 years. He has maintained that he is stopping drugs. Home test are not clean. I caught his dealer at the house yesterday and obviously he bought drugs. I am struggling emotional with the lies and the bare face manipulation. I am also harbouring deep feelings of resentment towards him. I honest cannot fathom who would choose a life of isolation, no friends, unkempt appearance and Nothingness over human connection and having choices. Any thoughts anyone ?

by Kel1

45 posts

What a mess by

Good evening all. I’m a newbie, After almost 12 months of binge drinking I am starting on a path that I can get help. I’m 30, have a wife and my own business but have become somewhat of a wrecking ball especially this last 12 months. I lost my parents at 21 and 25 years old and it appears to have a profound effect on my later life, although I don’t drink every day and can sometimes go months without a drop, I’ve started more frequently to use alcohol as a crutch, sometimes binging for 3/4 days at a time drinking anything. It’s now last chance saloon for me both with my wife and business partner having several days off work being in a drunken stooper. I am seeking professional help but any words of encouragement or help would be much appreciated there isn’t light at the end of the tunnel now, but I need to find something to cling on too to keep my head above water. Thanks for your time

1 post

Kicked partner out because of drug use by

Hi had A tough couple of months , was supporting partner by keeping an eye On him and doing drug tests, my boundaries were if I find out he’s took coke again he’s out.. it happened so we split up. Two weeks on and we’re going to try and make it work.. He loves me and I love him and for all I hate this life atm I don’t want to throw it all away and I can’t see myself with any my one else for all I could do a hell of a lot better .. has anyone been in this situation? .. will it work? I’m willing to try because I love him so much. He’s wanting a see on how much our relationship is going to take a step back.. I’ve said nothings clear at the moment, we need to concentrate on the here and now,and take each day as it comes I need to start seeing that he is committed to change... So basically ive told him if you want a date with me fine .. ask, if you want a day out with me and the kids altogether that’s fine too .. if you want to spend the night fine but only if I you havnt been taking and your willing to do a test and also my kids are not here .. I just said I really don’t know what will happen.. all I know is I’m in the position now where I can walk away and my kids won’t be affected by anything, he’s not happy about it but understands .. am I doing the right thing?

by Kel1

2 posts

My partner is denying that she's dependent on weed, and doesn't want to give it up by

If this seems to be rambling, that's because I have autism, and when I start saying how I feel, it just floods out, so sorry in advance. My partner is refusing to admit she has a problem with it, and yet she seems programmed to have three or four joints a night, regardless of whether she has work the following day or not. Her habit has nearly got me in an awkward position with my uncle. She has in the past said she would give it up, but so far has shown no signs of doing so. I've tossed and turned about whether to give her an ultimatum or not (yes, it's got that bad). Most of the conflict is over her smoking weed. It seems as if she doesn't care if she gets caught or not. It has got to the point where she has cut me off from people who I used to be friends with, and left me isolated. If I ask her to stop, she just says, "it's one of my only vices, so you have to let me do it". Do I? Not in my book. So before I completely lose the will to live (because this has been going on for just over a year), what should I do? Someone please help me because I'm at the end of my tether.

by Kel1

2 posts

New to here.. by

Hi, I’m 38. just joined as things have for that bad for me I’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve always turned to drink to destruct myself due to various reasons including childhood trauma with an alcoholic violent father, a bad relationship with someone that sent me crazy and just a few days ago the love of my life boyfriend left because he couldn’t deal with it anymore after 3 years of trying to help me. He did every he could but I get why he’s gone. I’m in such a bad place right now. I’ve rang the doctors today and am getting referred to a councillor and they suggested horizons for the alcohol misuse. Just wanted some chat from people who have been in similar situations and what they’ve been through and how they came out the other side. Thanks

by Mand81

12 posts

Teenage Daughter on drugs by

Hi everyone. I am new to this, the situation and the forum. I have a 16 year old daughter who in February I found out had been smoking cannabis. At the time she was studying for her GCSE's, her behaviour at school was appalling and she was on the verge of being expelled. I did this stupid thing of stating that I would not have drugs under my roof and that if she wanted to go down that path she could move out. The following evening she came home even more stoned than before which I took as an "up yours mum" so I threw her out. She went to her dads. Lockdown happened, I phoned her every day and she came to stay regularly, but she did stay at dads, and she did lay off the drugs as she couldn't go out. Now she is back in the thick of it, she's now progressed onto pills and maybe other stuff I'm not aware of. She has had a few emotional meltdowns (following a heavy night) where she has stated she is very unhappy. She is now seeing a drug counsellor once a week and is 3 weeks in. It's been arranged for us to have some mediation. I also told her I wanted her home. So I have accepted she takes drugs, I have allowed her to continue with this, although I am not funding it. But whenever she doesn't want to abide by the house rules, curfews etc, she goes AWOL, stays at dads or friends. She refuses to answer my calls or texts so I'm often going to bed worried out of my mind. Her dad has a completely different parenting style to me, she prefers being there as he has no boundaries, he gives her money, easier than spending time with her. But they fight a lot, when she's there for solid periods of time I often get messages from him saying he's thrown her out and she's not welcome, which is why I wanted her home mostly, I don't want her to be subject to this and thought I could manage it, but seems she would rather have that than live by my rules (I'm not talking strict rules here, just being in by 12 each night). I feel exhausted by the constant worry, each day I feel different about the situation, anger that she cant just tow the line and stay in touch, sadness that she feels so bad about her life that she wants to block it all out. Somedays I want to fight for her and some days I think let her get on with it. Any advice or pearls of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks

by BT1978

10 posts

Am I imagining it? by

Hubby had a major cocaine problem that ended with us separating for 3 years although we continued to be together during that time. He turned his life around, has an amazing job, is a wonderful dad and husband except....the past couple of months he’s started to withdraw from me, sleeps in another room, if he’s not at work he’s asleep, no sex drive, EXTREME mood swings, and drinking a little too much a little too often. Then I noticed in the spare room he’s torn rectangles of paper off of letters....my guess is they’re being used to roll up and sniff cocaine? A couple of weeks ago I thought his eyes looked funny, and he had a really runny nose a couple of times. Am I being paranoid? I’ve ordered cocaine wipes that’ll be here today so I can go over the shelves etc in the spare room like I’m some sort of detective. Feels like I’m going crazy!?!?!

Trying to cope by

My dad is an alcoholic, recently he was told that he had cirrhosis of liver and he needs to cut down then stop drinking completely or he will be dead in a year. He has totally buried his head in the sand and is drinking more than ever now. In the past when he and my mum were struggling financially he would ask me for hundreds of pounds every month over the period of a few years - purely to fund his drinking not to help with the bills or mortgage. He would ask me to hide the money in places my mum wouldn't find it and lie if she asked if i'd lent him any. I was always to scared to say no so even though i despised giving him it i still did it. It only stopped when he got a large sum of money through from the pension of his old job. If that hadn't come through he would still be asking me for money today. I don't know how to process my feelings about it all - i hate what he has put me and my mum through but i'm so worried about what happens if he doesn't help himself.

Struggling to cope by

Hey, I'm really new to this. It's taken me a long time to reach out for some help or even accept the fact that I'm struggling. I moved in with my Dad in April this year and I always knew he was a big drinker but it's literally much worse than I'd ever imagined. He is always at the pub, he's never home. He doesn't eat properly, if he does it's a microwave meal or takeaway and I just feel that he is slowly drifting away. He's in such a spiral with his drinking that I don't know how to cope. He just drinks til he can't anymore, he doesn't spend time with me or my brother, we literally have to go to the pub to see him and even when we do, he seems so disinterested in the fact we're there. I dealt with my Mum being a heavy drinker/alcohol dependant for majority of my life and she has now given up so I know how much it destroys your life. Its actually making me physically ill to think that my Dad is doing this to himself? I don't understand why you would want to inflict this on your body. I'm getting married next year and he's walking me down the aisle but the rate he's going, will he be able to? Will his body continue to take the abuse? I feel like I just needed to vent because it's been locked up in my brain for so long.

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