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Feel useless by

I’ve put a few posts on here about my story with my husband, in short his been a heavy alcoholic for two years, and has two fits and hospital stays, he found his dad dead a month ago and uses that to drink more, hasn’t gone to work in early two months, he has always been nasty when drunk, I tried the gentle approach and got pushed away tried tough love to get told I am self centred, a gold digger, ugly a shit mum/wife, tells me he is sleeping with x amount of people and I’ve got no change of ever finding someone new if a leave, and now a new low he is sleeping with my sister. We have two young children the older one (4) is picking up on everything and I don’t want her childhood damaged. I have left once for a week but that’s when he found his dad so I returned to support him and all I am getting is nasty comments. He has been told next time he lands himself in hospital he is off to rehab, don’t know how rehab works ( I live in England ) do we have to pay or is it nhs. I am done, we will loose everything soon due to lack of money and still have his dads funeral to organise.

Don’t understand daughters alcohol misuse. by

My 34 yr old daughter has an alcohol abuse issue. This has been the case for a few years. She’s 34, has a good job and still lives with us. She can go for a week maybe 2 without alcohol and then have a binge. This has been the case for a for a couple of years. She has also driven her car after drinking. We are at a loss with how to help her and confused with the pattern of her alcohol misuse. She will lie to us and manipulate us so she can drink. We don’t understand how she can exercise restraint for a couple of weeks and then drink. We’re obviously worried sick about her , but this is also causing massive issues within our family. We go between incredible anger when she has one of these binges , to being worried sick and heartbroken. We don’t know the best way to help her and to manage the damage this is causing to us and our family. We’d welcome any input.

Father of my children is a heroin addict by

I sit here with a heavy heart and burning in my chest . Anxiety is through the roof ... I knew something was happening because we was arguing differently . Fighting over smaller things like why on earth does he have to keep popping out every four 4-6 hours. And why on earth would we need a costa coffee everything single morning that we are together. He would be falling asleep after a long work shift with a droopy face and I would Joke "cor you've been chasing the dragon today at work" laughing about it. With no clue that I was completely and utterly spot on. Now we was already having trouble before this because he and my son both have Autism. I was feeling more like carer than gf .We choose to live apart and see each other part time. Everything seemed to be working well tbh better than before. But I would say things were slightly flat between us , boring even. But my kids were happy and therefor so was I . Until one day he told me in a row that he'd hooked on smack and was living a nightmare. Blaming me for wanting to live separately in the first place Now he got off the drugs for a short while, but relapsed quickly. Blaming me for not seeing him enough, leaving him alone in his flat for to long. ( I d said he can see the kids when drug tests are clean and he's getting professional help) to be honest i m still in so much shock that he would even do this, tbh I didnt know at all, how to react or handle this situation . So just done what I thought was right for the children. I was still trying to help from a Distance He's not always been the best Dad but I will always care to some degree, But the kids without question have to come first in my mind, He's not attending work (he has a great professional job). always borrowing money, running out of money, pissing people off , crashing his car, wont take drug test to see the kids. I even heard he was begging in the street a little while ago. Yet in one of the better paying jobs I have no clue how a few months back we was all happy laughing with the kids makking big plans in the front room. Finally getting on our feet with a new healthy routine for us all (or so I thought) to this nightmare. When you speak to him its like the guy I knew has completely vanished . This guy is up and down like a yo yo and when its down its really bad to see. Heartbreaking even He's said some really foul hurtful stuff to me. My heart wanted to stay but my brain just knew I couldn't even if I wanted to.

My husband and cocaine by

Hi, my husband is a cocaine addict, I’ve been married for 10 years been together for 16 years. My husband is my best friend, a very loyal, honest and loving man before addiction took hold. My husband was practically teetotal before trying cocaine once when he was 30, given to him by a good friend on a day to watch the football. He soon became hooked but this was kept a secret from me for 4 years. He would use when me and my children were asleep in bed. All unknown to us. His behaviour changed massively over this time, paranoia, moodiness and generally being off with us and everyone else, these were the signs, but I failed to see the cause. I often thought he was having a midlife crisis or experiencing some kind of depression. Then the night I found out it was cocaine, was the night I was pregnant with our 5th child, he went out to buy dinner and came home intoxicated. He lied and denied everything. We had an explosive argument and shamefully I threw a cup at him. He was enraged and left! He went to stay with a friend who doesn’t use drugs. During his period away, his behaviour become worse, he hated me, he blamed me for everything, he lost his job “that was apparently my fault” as he failed a drug test. He started trying to move on, messaging other women on Facebook, telling them we had been separated ages ago and how I was abusive and how he didn’t love me. (This man adored me, everyone said the same, he’d ring me roughly 4 times everyday just to talk to me and see how me and the children were, during the whole of our relationship). He stole two cars belonging to relatives and drove intoxicated to pick up drugs. He was arrested for the one and charged. He bought cocaine on the way to the cinema when he was with our children and used throughout the film, making regular trips to the bathroom. I could go on and on! despite most of these occurrences, he still didn’t think he was an addict, he thought it was probably a bit of an issue, but he definitely was not an addict! I could see the horror on his face when it was ever suggested. To him, heroin or crack users were addicts, not him. This caused me great upset, as if he wasn’t an addict, that meant these were all choices. He went to live with his mum even further away and being so far away from us made him realise what he was missing. He got a job and trained hard at the gym, but never attended meetings. He came back and was clean for 6 months just in time for our baby to be born. He was fab with her and went back to being the fab dad to our other children that he was pre drugs. I was so happy that I felt I had the old him back. Two weeks before Christmas he relapsed, he was given some on community services, as apparently that’s a thing, it’s a jolly boys outing for drugs. I was devastated, he didn’t come home and confess, the lies started straight away and this time he couldn’t convince me, I knew he was using. He spent the next few weeks using and sleeping rough in our garage, as I wouldn’t let him in our house because I don’t want drugs around my children, especially now I’ve got the baby. The bit that hurt me the most was during one of these reckless nights, he didn’t come home for me to go on my work party, I found him slumped in the pub, alone with the barmaid. He'd apparently told her she was an attractive girl! Not in a pervy way, she said it was said in a conversation, but he was also missing his wedding ring. When I asked him why, he denied everything, he said his ring was off before he went out and swore on our children’s lives. He’s not the sort of person to cheat, at all! so again it confused me. He then confessed to saying it in hope she’d flirt back, to make him feel good about himself, as I’m always threatening him with divorce and he feels like a scum bag, at the best of times. I’ve said horrible things to him in the past, that has made him feel insecure. The once in temper I told him he wasn’t attractive to me. This was said in anger because he was behaving appallingly, but it seemed to stay in his head. He still swore he would never cheat though and that he loves me more than anything. I think he’s doing this because he knows with me now, he can no longer hide his addiction, I will eventually leave him and he’s putting feelers out for moving on. However, he says you don’t think like that when you’re on drugs, there’s no logic behind it, or thinking of moving on. You just act out on what you’re thinking at the time, every time you feel differently. It’s all still so confusing for me. I just wish he’d go back to the man he was before. It’s so horrible to see someone you love, go on self destruct and there’s nothing you can do for them.

Husband is a secret coke head by

Hi i dont even know where to start with this! My husband was caught asking a lady im our local shops for her phone number. In a row following this he admitted he was off his face of coke and dosnt even know why he asked for her number. It came out hes been on coke almost everyday at work and has been for about 3 years. During this time he has caused awful issues in the home. He dosnt go out so hes been taking it here in our home with me and the 4 kids. Hes been a horrible nasty gaslighting prick to live with. I had asked hundreds of times are you on something and everytime i did i was called terrible names told i need help im crazy. He said everytime we have had a drink in the last 3 years hes been on coke! Hes full of sorrow begging for forgivness swearing hes done with coke and only wants me and the kids. Hes been producing clean drug tests for the last few weeks and im glad for the kids if no one else. He hasnt signed up to anyform of professional help but keeps saying he will if i want him to. He thinks hes strong enough to stay away from it?? Hes changed job I dont know what to do its all to much for me and has deeply effected my mental health. All the lies gaslighting and now the lady from the shops in the mix. Im shocked to my very core. Has anyone ever been in a simular situatation if so how did it work out. Im yet to decide weather im going to stay in the relationship but hes still in the family home. All advice/storys welcome x

by Ssw

33 posts

Drugs and New baby by

Hi everyone, I’ve come on here to ask for a bit of advice. My boyfriend, who I will refer to as B, has been smoking weed since he was 12 and he is now 22, since getting together B always told me he’d quit and that’s why I stayed with him. In October 2021 I found out that I was pregnant with our baby boy, I told him straight away that he needed to be off the drugs before our baby was born to which he reluctantly agreed. Over the next few months B said that he had made progress but as he lives at home I did not believe him. My son is now 5 weeks old, B has not come off the weed and it’s really affecting our relationship. My family have never been involved in drugs and I do not want to bring my baby up around them. Yesterday, we went to a support service, in a nutshell, the mentor said that she doesn’t think he is really willing to come off the weed. I have to agree with her, he’s admitted to still being on 8/9 joints a day and smoking ‘doubles’ when he gets stressed. He spends over £100 a week on weed and then tells me that he doesn’t have £10 to top up his phone so I can contact him whilst he’s at work. Does anyone really think there’s any chance of him coming off the weed when he doesn’t seem to want to do it. He’s already had almost a year, what is a realistic time frame? The mentor said some people wake up one day and decide to never take it again and work hard to not relapse. B has said that he wants 2 or 3 years to come off it, but with the lack of progress and motivation so far I think he’s talking nonsense. He’s grown up around drugs and all his family take them casually on a daily basis. I didn’t know that it was wired into his lifestyle like this and he told me when we first met that he took it socially now and again, obviously this was a lie. He stays over at me and my families house at the weekend and just smokes a vape, he says this is progress but then says he’s “gagging” for weed by the time he gets home and smokes a really strong amount after not having it for the weekend. Surely this is counter productive and just feeding into his addiction. I’ve told him that he’s got to pick between the drugs or his family, he’s had enough time to get off it or even make an ounce of progress. He wouldn’t be coming off it if it wasn’t for me pressuring him so is it even possible?

1 post

Dihydracodeine Detox by

Hi Guys. Sorry but I’m new to this and am so glad I’ve found this forum. Basically I have had issues for over 10 years with this drug. Initially prescribed for osteoarthritis pain then an accident involving my knee. I am really trying to stop taking this drug as like many people on here it’s already taken over my life and destroying it daily.I cannot function without it and my GP basically has just told me it will be really too tough to come off & to just keep taking my prescription limit. I would rather go back to the pain than having to just go on day by day with nothing but feeling depressed waiting for my 4 hours pill pop.I guess I’m so lonely I need to hear from someone who may have beat this devil of a drug. If anyone has any kind words of wisdom that may help me I would be very grateful.

1 post

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