: Share Your Story

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Share Your Story

2455 threads

14523 posts

My story by

Hi All I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello to you all. I'm sad for all of us that we've found ourselves on here, but glad that I've found somewhere with others who understand how things are. I live with my partner, father of my 5 year old. He's an alcoholic, 1+ litre bottles of whisky a day. Unemployed now (left weeks ago due to workplace bullying, exasperated by his drinking). Now spends all day in bed, drinking, shouting, often ranting incoherently and generally making family life very grim. He stinks as seldom washes now. Vomits often. I work awful hours, am the only bill-payer, prime carer for our 5 year old, do all the housework and DIY. Most of the time I hate him. I am civil to him but I'm finding that harder. We can no longer have visitors because of his behaviour. I'm aware I should be 'supportive', but it's so hard to love and support someone who disgusts you and has brought such misery and hardship to your door. Our son doesn't want to spend time with him, but his dad just starts shouting and ranting if he doesn't, which leads to a great deal of upset. Thought we had a bit of a breakthrough today when he eventually managed to slur about his problems to the GP. He's been asked to go to hospital for tests before (again today) , but won't because is worried what they'll come back with (should think the news will be terrible). He hasn't phoned the addiction centre for support. Nightimes are lurching in to my room (I sleep with our 5 year old) with the DTS, incoherent and desperate for alcohol. I'm an enabler I guess, chosing to keep a small bottle of the stuff to get him to go away, prevent having to leave our son with him whilst I go out for booze, and to prevent him having a severe medical episode in front of us. He has no family, anywhere he can go, or anyone else to help him.do I feel totally and utterly trapped in an endless nightmare that I can't see a way out of until he dies. Some days I wish he would just die quickly, just so we can start to recover from him. Then I hate myself for thinking that. So many emotions, and none of them are good. Sending a virtual hug and hi to you all out there with your own problems, and thanks for listening 😊

by JEM

8 posts

Lonely by

Hi there everyone. I am new to this group. I have been with my husband for 20 years..married for nearly 2 years now. He is a lovely man apart from the drinking...he doesn't know when to stop once he opens a bottle of whisky..even now he has gone to bed..passed out..didn't eat the dinner i cooked...just kept stabbing it with his fork and making grunting noises..it is so lonely when you live with someone like this...he is always remorseful the next morning but it's just temporary until the next binge...

1 post

Codeine Addict Needs Tapering Advice by

I've been reading messages on this forum and have found the strength to deal with my addiction (so far) but none of my friends or family know and I desperately need some advice now I'm getting towards the end of my taper. I've been using codeine for 14 years and have tapered from 64 Nurofen Plus a day (=820mg) to 12 (=150mgs). But..... I'm terrified of withdrawal, it's the restless legs at night and insomnia that I just can't cope with. I'm aware of the non physical symptoms I'll also have to deal with, I've experienced anxiety, depression and feeling flat but have managed these ok so far. My question is at what dose should I be able to stop without experiencing any physical symptoms? Each Nurofen Plus has 12.8mg of codeine. Could I stop when I get down to 4 a day or should I take myself right down to 1 a day first? The ibruprofen has ruined my health, I now have a kidney disorder called Renal Tubular Acidosis and have been an inpatient on high dependency wards several times (one step down from intensive care) I also have deep stomach ulcers which have also resulted in many inpatient stays, if I can help anyone by talking or sharing anything I'm happy to, just ask. X

by DODO

28 posts

Codeine/ the devils drug :( by

Hi everyone I'm natalie 32 year old mum to 3 I really need help. This is the first time I've been brave enough to share my story.. I'm a codeine addict! And its ruining my life. I went to my doctors and told them I was dependent so she put me on codeine phosphates. Apparently safer than cocodomols as they dont have the paracetamol. I take just over 20 30mg a day. I'm supposed to be tapering off but my doctor is no help she just keeps throwing them at me and hasnt called me back for a good few months now.. I don't feel I have the support at all. Nobody knows besides my doctor. I tried a few weeks ago I was so bad I couldn't get up from my bed and I can't be like that as I have children to look after. My youngest is 3 i feel like the worst mum in the world right now. I used to be so happy full of energy and a good mum to my children. Now I'm constantly just relying on my medication waiting for Thursdays to get my perscription.. I'm so down and unhappy and feel like a total failure.. I never done drugs in my life.. besides these. I guess I am just looking for someone to talk to as i feel so alone and embarrassed. Maybe this can help me by having people to talk to. Thank you x

by Cheryl

35 posts

Alcohol and cocaine by

Past three months I’ve spiralled into 2-3 times a week alcohol and cocaine use. Always drunk too much but literally sat on my bed with aching sinuses, the obvious guilt and hatred for this circle of hell. Can’t stop and having terrible anxiety attacks in the night. If I didn’t drink, I would never smoke, take drugs or any of the other things that come with it. I’m sick of it and it needs to stop once and for all. Seems everyone is doing it where I live and way too accessible. Dreading the inevitable dread and heart palpitations that will come later. How do I stop?

1 post

Cocaine addiction one month sober by

Hello everyone! I am 21yr from slovenia europe. I use cocaine for past 4 years every weekend and in big amounts usualy from friday night till sunday morning and then was not able to sleep for whole day so getting sleep just on saturday was something regular to me. I am now one month clean and its hell i have really bad depression and suicide thoughts i really dont know how to go further in my life. I want to ask people who go thrue same situation- when will i feell better? It really can take one year before i get my feelings and emotion back? I fell so bad i can not describe. I do not crave cocaine just dont see any light in my life its just emptines. Thanks for your help and support.

Theresa by

I don’t know what to do my son is in his mid 30’s and has lost his home his car and only goes to work to get money for cocaine. We bought him a small business and a car and told him to pay back what he can weekly. He’s not paid a penny back. We told him he could stay with us as long as he kept his space clean and didn’t smoke the really strong dope as it makes both my husband and I feel physically sick. He kept smoking it and my husband told him to find somewhere else to stay. That was a year ago and he’s came back saying he’s nowhere to go during lockdown. I am shielding and now he’s in our caravan in the garden not going to work borrowing money and saying he’s ill and can’t go to work. My husband has gave up and doesn’t speak to him and is angry at me for letting him stay in the caravan but I’m his mother and don’t know what else to do.

by Lindyloo

1024 posts

Boyfriend and possible substance abuse. by

Hi, so I have been dating this guy for a few months. On our 4th date, we watched a movie at his house and around midnight I looked over and he was nodding out, his head was slowly falling back onto his pillow with mouth hanging open, almost making a gurgling/ snoring noise, eyes rolled into back of head, sweaty, itchy, sniffling, rubbing face, and mumbling, in and out of consciousness. On several dates, his eyes have been droopy, slurred words, been itchy and sweaty, even small pupils. He states that he takes methadone for back pain and the reason he was acting that way that night was because he was drinking beers while on methadone( his medicine for back pain) . I don’t buy it, and don’t know what to think. I hope this is the right forum to post this kind of thing and finally get some clarity. Thanks

by JEM

5 posts

Struggling by

Don’t know where to start … husband coke use spiralling out of control I’m lost, he’s abusive and vile even when not in it or coming down. So much to tell you but I would be here all night. Can’t cope any more with him, we’re married but I own the house I had to call police other night he’s vile scares me and our dogs when on his come down he said he could strangle me in my sleep but then says he’s “joking” I’ve told him I don’t like that sense of humour but he carries on , I’m so fucking sick and tired of this shit all I want is a peaceful life but he seems to love chaos … so tired I can’t eat can’t sleep I look like death from the stress please help with advice

by Ifonly

2 posts

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