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My sister is lost by

What do you do when you have tried everything that can be possibly done for the last 12 years and things only get worst year after year? What do you do when your sister has been diagnosed with being Bipolar, borderline, attention disorder, addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc, etc, etc. What do you do if she threatens you to suicide every other day or cries for attention every hour of the day but doesn't accept any help, treats her family as if we where her worst enemy and goes out of her way to make us suffer as much as we possibly can, using all the lies in the book, making every one of her stories sound like a scene out of Lord of the rings. What do you do when she doesn't want to go to any mental health institute or she escapes after a week. When she is a danger to herself to us and the public, but we cannot make decisions for her as she is overage. What do you do then? There is no place for her in society, therefore dragging her family into the ditch with her.

1 post

My Codeine problem by

I am writing this as a way to document my progress but also maybe help others. How did I get in this mess? Most people who are addicted to painkillers usually have a 'trigger event' Mine was 3 broken ribs, for which I took co-codamol. I noticed at that time a euphoria and also removal of all the worries. And believe me there are a few: As a parent of 2 small children (2 and 5) with a very demanding job and wife that is retraining and therefore earns very little we have money problems because of a massive mortgage and nearly a grand is paid a month in childcare. I am on my own with the kids most of my waking hours that are not at work, because my wife is a trainee teacher as spends every waking hour lesson planning or marking. She makes £800 a month after tax which is crazy. She works 3.5 days a week and spends the other days socialising. I am trying to be ok with that. Hence Codeine was a form of escape. It took 3 years to get from occasional abuse through to the very serious situation of of taking nearly 600mg codeine a day as codeine phosphate tablets. I found an easy way to get them from online pharmacies. They cost a lot of money and i must have spent 5 grand at least. I also drink a bottle of wine a night and take diazepam too. This situation was obviously unsustainable. But, amazingly no-one knows as far as I am aware. You will be thinking - how could I let this get so bad, but those of you know that codeine resistance builds in plateaus - one day 90mg will do nothing at all and you need to up your dose to get the same feeling. What now I am now absolutely case iron determined to sort this out. Obviously I feel ashamed for spending money like this and being so irresponsible, but that works as a motivator for me now. My taper is going to have a lot of discomfort associated with it - but will drop quite quick then slowly reduce after that. This is mainly because of the expense of the tablets, and because I want to get to a safe dose as quickly as I can. Where am I now? Totady I am down from 600mg to 330mg. This is almost a safe amount to take a day (allegedly 240mg) so that's something. I will now reduce to 90mg a day and then drop 15mg a day. There has been a lot of symptoms - all of the ones you read about. But the worst has been the depression - its been difficult to get out of bed even. Especially as you gather your thoughts and know you face a day of discomfort. I take 5-htp and this helps a lot. Exercise really helps, and vitamin B seems to help too. The other golden rule is to keep continually busy until the end of the day. Having 2 small children and a wife that works all evenings has both filled this time but also made loneliness a bit of an enemy. If there are any positives I have a sex life again and also am enjoying going to the toilet (sorry if this is oversharing). My stomach bloating is massively reduced and I can see my abdominal muscles again. For alcohol - I strictly limit my drinking, but I do allow myself 2 glasses of wine, because its dangerous to stop straight away. After a week, I will cut this out completely - that will save £3 a day (I was buying a bottle a day). The only way I could reduce my drinking was to wait until later in the evening before I started. For me, this is 9pm (we go to bed at 11). Hopefully I can keep posting here as a progress the bumps along the way. I have noticed no two days are the same - some are not too bad - today is OK. Yesterday was terrible. There's only one thing missing for me now - that's someone to talk to. I'm too ashamed to talk to friends so the anonymous forum is worth a try....?

Codeine relapse after 24 days... by

Hi All Ok so I don't feel proud but I was basically on codeine 30mg & tramadaol 50mg for about 5 years for an ongoing back issue. I also used to buy nurofen plus & co-codamol & codeine linctus on top of that as after a while we all know that we get get dependant and build up a tolerance. The Codeine 30mg and Tramadol were prescribed and put on repeat. Every 6 months I would go for a med review and my GP would gladly renew my repeats without question tbh. My wife thought I had stopped the painkillers quite a while back but I would lie and then get caught over and over again. Then (last month) I got caught again and my wife marched me down to the Doctors to ask why they were still given me codeine as I was basically lying and addicted. My GP basically stopped prescribing me anything else there and then and put a note on my record to alert the other Doctors in the surgery not to give me opiates or any other substance that could be addictive and said he was referring me to addaction services. He also sent an email to all the pharmacy's in the surrounding area stating they were not allowed to sell me anything with codeine in. That was it... no help nothing. Addaction rang me when I was about 18 days into WD and I basically said I did not want their help I was angry with everyone for just dumping me like that. So I went cold turkey for 21 days I went through hell, the worst was the Insomnia & RLS, I even went back to the doctors after not sleeping for about 8 days straight and my wife came with me and we actually begged him for some help to get some sleep, even if it was only for a few nights, but he blankly refused. Anyway after 21 days I started to slowly come out of it. Then one stupid stupid day last week I found a full box of co-codamol I must of hid and forgotten about when I was emptying out a cupboard searching for something. Stupidly (i dont know why) I took some and have been for about 10 days now. Not a great deal about 80mg a day. Now they have ran out and I know I'm probably going to get some mild wd's but I'm ready for it, I feel like it should be a punishment for me being stupid enough to start again but I'm not going out buying more. sick of it Just wanted to get that off my chest X

addicted to co-codamol for 10 years by

I have been a Codeine addict for 10 years now but this is the first time I have evr written about it. My addtiction started when me and my friends started taking these for hangovers. We started off just taking 2 in the morning after a night out to taking 3 every weekend after a night out. At forst everything was ok and i was just doing it recreationally. The work beacame very stressfull. I found myself taking 3 to help me sleep every other night. Then i started to snowball. I was taking them every morning to cope with being in work. But i only had access to a limited amount. Sometimes if i couldnt take 30/500 co-codamol i would take about 10 x 8/500. Which was really dangerous and the moment i relaised i had a probelm. Things moved on in my life and I no longer had access to them and managed, not through my choice to stay off them. Evry now and again i would get access to 100 x 30/500 but these never lasted that long. Forst it was a week then it was a 4 or 5 days. Always i would run out and then i would be abck to normal. After about a year or so of this, I was fully off them. Then i had a back issue and i relapsed badly. I was taking Naproxen which is craop for dealing with pain. However i then discovered that you could buy 12.5/500 OTC at the pharmacy. This to this day is a big challeneg to know I can get acecss to codeine so easily. I then started buying codien online which is were my now troubles started. It started off just 100 x 30/500 twice a month. I realised that this was a problem and decicded to quit cold turkey. I was able to do this with the help of some diazapn to get me through the first couple of days. However once i had got over the first week i was clean. I felt great. Work was still stressful and my wife was expecting our first baby but i was clean and i was produ of myself. No depression, just the odd urge. Then my son was born which was a massive trigger for my relapse. It was a very stressful brith and my wife was in hospital for over two weeks. Sitting in a hsopital chair for 16 hours a day took its toll so i decided i would buy some OTC 12.5/500 to help me through it. I took 2 then i was taking 5 then it was up 6 ago. When my family was home i thought this is dangerous so decided to buy the real ones online. My addtiction has got way out of hand these last 6 months since bmy sons birth. I am taking 200 x 30/500 nearly every week. I mix it up between codine phospate to reduce the paracetemol amountgs but alos mix it with OTC tablets to make phosphae last longer. Its turned into a £500 a month habit. This is the first time I have ever spoken about it. I have decided that I am going to quit cold turkey. I have 220 tablets at my disposal. Its been 28 hours since my last codeine tablet. My back is sore and i have the odd urges. I also feel a bit down but taking all the vitamins to help witdrawl. My goal is to make it to tomorrow without taking anything. I am thinking of my baby and wife to help me through it. I wish i never set eyes on this drug. Its is the worst drug around and secretly is destroying so many lives. This is my first time I have ever addmnited any of this!!

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I need to stop taking cocaine! It's killing me! by

Hi. Just joined. I have reached a point where I know I can't do this alone. Ive tried and tried and tried again and I'm tired! Tired of feeling like this tired of destroying everything tired of trying to pick myself up and go again. This has to be it or I know it ends in two ways for me, in a grave or in prison. My story with cocaine and heavy gambling started about 12 years ago. I'm 34. Ive wasted so much time.... destroyed my prime. I was one of those people who would never touch a drug before I began. Never even smoked. The very first time I did cocaine was when me and my then new girlfriend wanted to do something different one weekend so she suggested getting high. I thought why not might if that is what she wants to do and to impress her I did. Biggest mistake of my life!!!!! From that moment I wanted to do even more. But then one night when she went to bed I was using on my own and decided to watch some porn on the computer and play poker online. That's when it all changed to another level of use for me. The porn was like nothing I had ever watched high on cocaine it was like I was interacting with the ladies myself and whilst playing poker I felt unstoppable like I could read and win big money because I had no fear. I could go on and on! So as time progressed my girlfriend see who is now mother of my three children who left me two years ago because she could no longer put up with me staying up maybe every 2/3 weeks losing aload of our money and suffering a major come down because I was on cocaine go through the same repeat motions! I became controlling. Always the same story I won't do it again I need help blah blah blah!! But I didn't stop. Even know I wanted to I couldn't I found myself just repeating the same thing. Lying. Pretending everything is fine. Fast forward to age of 32 when she left with my children. She moved to the other side of the country and I followed a few months later because I love my kids so much and I couldn't bear not be with them. Even know all this cocaine use and gambling was going on I did everything I could for my children and every time i messed up I would cry myself to sleep because I knew I had let them down. So I thought let's get my head together once and for all once I followed and lived apart from them. Things went well for a while 6months or so but for chatting with a fella in the gym who said he had been on the cocaine night before and that's when alarm bells went off and I got number for the local dealer! Again huge mistake. Cut a long story short I'm back in same routine of cocaine porn gambling. I'm with my new girlfriend of nearly two years and now she has seen through my cracks. Two nights ago I blew all my wages and did cocaine and it was only week and half ago I did the same. I'm a mess. God knows why my girlfriend is still with me. She has already noticed the pattern. The pattern I need to get out of desperately. So I'm here to hopefully get some help. Thanks for reading.

Worried mother by

My son has dabbled with drugs for a long time but now he smoking crack stealing from us just don't what to do for the best. I don't want to throw him out of our house obviously it causes trouble with my husband who us his step dad I know I have to stay strong if I'm going to help him as he asking for help just so confused as what I can do I hide a lot from my husband which I hate doing but I can't cope with it all just needed to sound I know we not alone

Partner smoking cannabis by

Hi all, my partner has smoked cannabis since he was a teenager, last year he completed a rehabilitation course and he was clear of it for 6/7 months. Then it started again he started off pretending he weren’t having it and was having it now and then but then I found out he was back on it, he is not as bad as he used to be but I have told him he is making me unhappy and I don’t want him smoking it and he is prepared to walk away from the relationship to continue smoking it! Any advice on what to do would be great full!

Need help by

I have been in pain for 12 yrs. I have bulging neck discs, arthritis and recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Im constantly in pain yet dependent on painkillers. Years ago addicted to tramadol and cocodamal, taking 10 of each as the pain was just to much. I went to the GP, admitted the problem, straight away he stopped my prescriptions, was off work for 8weeks, going cold turkey was awful, the pain was awful, saw another GP and she gave me 30mg of codiene phosphate which ive been taking for 10yrs now.. Trouble is just to get to work i take 12 to 14 of these in one go, i hate myself...ive tried tapering off but the pain....so what do i do. I worry if telling the GP they wont understand again and stop the pain relief...ive had to go from full time work to part time. My husband is aware, ive been honest with him as he see's the pain I'm in and it upsets him. How can you stop taking pain killers yet cope with pain? I used to be fit and do triathlons, but the pain stopped me from continuing. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.