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Share Your Story

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Dear all, We are aware of an ongoing problem with spam posts on this blog page and are working to address it. At the minute we do not moderate or check posts before they are listed, to ensure that families can see their stories and comments on the website straight away. However, this means that sometimes spam will be visible for a short time before we have a chance to remove it, especially over the weekend. We apologise for any inconvenience or annoyance this has caused and thank all posters for your patience while we try to find a long-term solution. We hope you continue to use this page as it was truly intended, to help families share, communicate and support each other. Best wishes Adfam

scared by

My son is the middle child of three and I had to have him removed from our home environment due to alchol and drug abuse as i have a toddler in the home....He is drinking excessively taking drugs and constantly in trouble with the police he has had three short spells in prison. I am at my wits end with him..have tried everything possible to support him in and away fro family home. he is now homeless..his own doing,he did have a flat he was evicted he gets his benefits and within two days it is gone and coming to me for money for food. I have tried to be hard as i understand by providing im enabling..i told him no to money but he could come for meals he did nt and collapsed in street four days later..so i relented and gave him money ...he is now putting me in debt and im struggling with stress..Any advice would be really appreciated i just dont know what to do

Am I over-reacting? by

After 14 months together, am I over-reacting to my girlfriend's apparently casual use of cannabis? If I happen to be around when she lights up (usually with girlfriends but sometimes just us and usually when drinking) she usually quickly ends up passed out and lately has become verbally abusive directed at me. We are both late 40s. I'm quite ignorant of any drug use and made my concerns known. I like to think I was careful when raising this, but maybe that's not possible in this situation. The reaction was to dismiss me out of hand, as it was something that "everyone did", "get over it". She has smoked cigs (when we first met she said she wanted to stop) and cannabis (no intention to stop) since she was 16/17 and now says she tries not to do it when I'm around, although I see it roughly monthly. I can only speculate how often at other times (her "stash" changes between my visits, I know that's prying). Over the pass 6 months or so she has been slowly opening up about, childhood abuse (family friend, maybe uncle), married at 18, cheating/violent husband (finally ended after 10 years), now unemployed (+2 years), in debt (£10,000), social housing. I can't begin to imagine the stresses she is feeling from all of this. I'm accussed of being controlling (eg. when helping to clear debts) and expecting the "perfect women". I don't want to walk away. I don't want to cause more pain/stress by staying around. But it is heart-breaking to see such a lovely person do this to themselves. I don't know what to do.

accepting my son has a problem by

Hi my son is 22 years old, he works but lost his last job due to time off and not turning up. I have only recently had to accept he has a drug problem. I have bailed him out of pay day loans, which he has never attempted to repay. Sorted out his bills, and got him straight maybe three times now. He is verbally abusive and I have to admit I am starting to be wary of him. I have seen messages in which people offer him coke, ecstasy and other stuff so have had to come to terms with the fact that he is doing drugs. This month I have again sorted out his debts and bank account, holding onto his card so that he cannot keep drawing money out. He has begged me to give him money saying he owes people and he will be in big trouble if he doesn't pay. All the advice I have been given tell me to let him take responsibility for his actions. Stop bailing him out, and if necessary throw him out. This is where I am now, I have kicked him out but he didn't make it easy and I suffered his verbal abuse and kicking the door until I opened it. He has now accepted I don't want him home until he sorts himself out. He has only been out of the house for 2 days and I am already struggling not to call him and beg him to come back, but I know that if I do the cycle of stealing from me, abusing me and running into debt signalled by letters and phone calls from companies trying to get their money. So I think I have to stay strong and hope that he will find life so tough he will sort his self out and come home. Trouble is I am not sure he is able to do this, can anyone advise, I have spent so many sleepless nights and my work is suffering.


I have knots in my stomach as I know tomorrow is D Day...My son will he going to court for breach of tag......half of me is hoping they will see he isnt a bad lad, and the other half is hoping he gets sentenced, so has time to look at what his life has become.... Im not delusional, and I know he could get out and go back, but for the time being I have to remain positive. I will not be going to court and I will not be visiting him..he knows this. I will also be writing him a very frank and honest letter..how sad do I sound!!! Ive come to terms that its down to him, and I WILL be there when he wants the changes to make his life better...until that day he is on his own!!!


My son is now on remand in prison, looking at a very long time, he is being accused of 4 armed robberies in one day.. my house was raided twice within 3hrs ( armed police) never been so scared in all my life they was very nasty to me.. I thought he was doing so well, when really the urge for drugs was raging in side him.. The things they told me he has done, is not my son, It was a drug crazed lunatic he has become.. the only consilation is no one was hurt physically hurt but mentally they may never get over it.. I am numb, heartbroken and so scared as to what is to come xxx Fiona x

by fifi65

11 posts

reaching out by

I have an 18yr old son who smokes weed. Well try to give you all the info in short. He started smoking it about the years ago, without my knowledge. It's been a complete nightmare resulting in him being kicked out of school then college, having no grades selling everything he owned begging and badgering me for money constantly I have struggled on my own with him as didn't really have anyone around to help me. My family lived over five hours away and didn't want to go to his dad. He has become aggressive and depressed. I decided last year that I needed to away and that perhaps living with dad would help him. I moved away the weeks ago. On the night of my leaving do my son kicked off to such an extent that he wrecked my house kicked my front door in then took a massive kitchen knife to his room. He cut his hand and ended up getting arrested as I called the police. Since moving in with his dad he had gone to work with him everyday and things seem to have improved but now I get calls from him telling me that he is going to run away or take harder drugs, that he isn't coping and that I've just left him..... I've done everything I could I . Left for him if I had stayed things would of got worse. I am too soft for him I suffer with depression and was really struggling..... I feel so guilty I don't know what to do or how to help him

my husband by

Iv been with my husband 6 years but only been married for 2 years when i first met him he told me about hes past with drug but he had sorted himself out and it all had stopped. Three years ago he became friends with someone who got him back on cocaine, at first i thought it was nothing but it got so bad .. To me its bad. I walked out the other week and he come and got me and promised me he would stop! Now i understand its not easy because hes a addict and there will be slips but i get so angry with him i couldn't imagine my life with out him but i cant keep doing this we don't have any children but i don't want a baby untill things are sorted because i would leave if i had children i just don't no what to do ? am I just being selfish in just so lost.

by mefirst

2 posts