Scared and ashamed by Scaredaddict19Hi everyone I’m wondering if I can get some advice I lost my mum suddenly just below 2 years ago she was only 44 and I was 27 that is when my cocodomol addiction started as I was having 3 a night to help me sleep. Now I take upto 30 a day of 30/500mg I take 14 in the mornings and 14/15 at night my body has became so tolerant 2 them. ???? I suffer severe depresssion anxiety and ptsd my mums 2nd year anniversary is comin up soon and I find taking these help numb the pain and sucidial thoughts etc and can feel “normal” but then I get days where I cry so much and think I am such a failure I don’t drink I have never been addicted to anything in my life. I take diazepam from the docs and I am not even addicted to that I take them when I really need to and that’s it. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are now like a crutch to me I have tried a couple of times cold turkey and have made myself very ill ???? I do have just codeine also so do try and mix Them up so I’m not taking as much paracetamol. Like some of you I have recently started buying online from pharmacies. Am I a bad person? Will I ever come off these ? My doctor and pysciatrist know I have tried to taper before but anythin traumatic happens I’m back taking them.