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Scared and ashamed by

Hi everyone I’m wondering if I can get some advice I lost my mum suddenly just below 2 years ago she was only 44 and I was 27 that is when my cocodomol addiction started as I was having 3 a night to help me sleep. Now I take upto 30 a day of 30/500mg I take 14 in the mornings and 14/15 at night my body has became so tolerant 2 them. ???? I suffer severe depresssion anxiety and ptsd my mums 2nd year anniversary is comin up soon and I find taking these help numb the pain and sucidial thoughts etc and can feel “normal” but then I get days where I cry so much and think I am such a failure I don’t drink I have never been addicted to anything in my life. I take diazepam from the docs and I am not even addicted to that I take them when I really need to and that’s it. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are now like a crutch to me I have tried a couple of times cold turkey and have made myself very ill ???? I do have just codeine also so do try and mix Them up so I’m not taking as much paracetamol. Like some of you I have recently started buying online from pharmacies. Am I a bad person? Will I ever come off these ? My doctor and pysciatrist know I have tried to taper before but anythin traumatic happens I’m back taking them.

Heartbroken because I'm fighting a battle I can't win by

Hi everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I'm Andrea, I'm almost 55 years old and I work full time as a nurse. I'm married to a great guy and we have a grown up daughter. So far so good.....My dad is almost 81 years old, widowed for 10 years (my mother was a functioning alcoholic) Recently he has shown signs of failing health so I have stepped in to help out around the house with jobs he can no longer do. One such job is the weekly shopping and Dad goes with me in the car to the supermarket. He buys and consumes 6 litres of wine and 1.5 litres of whisky each week as well as the additional beer/lager. I have told him on numerous occasions that this is insane and can cause major health issues but to no avail. My concerns are so great that I took him to see his GP today for a health assessment. Memory test was 100% accurate and we have an appointment for blood tests and a chest xray next week as part of a health MOT. My dad tried to blame me today for allowing him to buy all the alcohol but I said as he is an adult with capacity I could only advise him on the dangers of drinking too much and not physically stop him buying it. On Monday this week he bought a litre bottle of whisky which is now gone and it's Wednesday! I've told him I will no longer buy him alcohol to top up his supply because I refuse to be an enabler any more. He's told me that now its been pointed out how much he's actually drinking (I don't drink that much is his usual response) he will try and curb it but that remains to be seen. I feel like I am being robbed of joy in what should be the best years of my life because I'm stressed and frustrated and worrying all the time about him. What does help is knowing that there are other families experiencing very similar difficulties and hopefully I will get some good advice and support here.

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I need help, I'm scared. Co-codamol addiction by

Hi, I'm a 23 year old girl who has been taking cocodamol for pain since I was 19, I didn't realise I was dependant on them until I tried to quit. I wake up in the morning and I have to take two Co codamol, I'm taking between 4-5 doses of cocodamol 60/500mg. I'm scared about my liver, I want to stop but I don't know how. I'm finding it all too hard and I know it's going to the death of me as the paracetmol will kill my liver. I have bad mental health problems and I don't know what quitting co codamol will do to me ????

by Chasb

8 posts

Cocaine by

I have shared some of my story in the past but i am really struggling it the thought of: Did my partner really fall out of love with me and it was nothing to do with cocaine? and Did my partner cheat on me and has he left me for another woman? To recap, my partner came home one night after a boozy weekend away and told me he did not love me anymore and was leaving me. A week later he disclosed that he had been using cocaine for the last 7 years and had been taking it excessively every weekend and during the week was taking tramadol, amitriptyline, and diazpam for the last past 3/4 years. He gave me several reason for falling out of love, which was given over different periods such as we drifted apart, you only worked part time because you were studying for your degree, I was under a lot pressure at work and you did not see it (although it was his boss and work mates he was taking cocaine with), i thought you did not love me anymore and i know i have f*@ked it. This has all been going on since last sept and i have tried to help him numerous ways but he wanted to do it by himself as he did not want professional help. He asked to come back and for me to help him and since then he has been back and left again on 6 different occasions. He came home after a night out with make up all over his top, his face turned white when i approached him about it, he left house and said he had to wash his car. I asked him to come back and speak about it, he said he was getting photo's taken with a group of women next to him as he was out with mates supposedly, however he would not show me his phone the night before. After i challenged him he said this is not working, i do not love you i only came back for kids. He later admitted the next day that he was "hammering cocaine again" but stated once again he only came back to me for kids and not me and said he was sorry for treating me this way. Since then i have stopped all contact with kids because he is using again and we are going head to head with lawyers and he wants almost joint custody. He has also sent me messages saying he is reporting me to social work as i am an unfit mother saying i drink every night. Yes where do i find the time to do that when i am the one with the kids all the time, he went out every weekend doing what he was doing while i was running a house, looking after kids, working part time and studying for a degree! Looking back i did notice around a year ago that he was very cold with me, no sex and would start an argument for no reason. He also went out all the time and would sit on sofa and watch me doing all the man jobs about the house with an electric drill. He even told me one time that he resented me so much that he wanted to pick up the coffee table and smash it over my head. I am so heart broken and so confused as this was not the person i met and had children with! He told me he wants best of both worlds meaning see the kids and take coke, when i asked him if he just wanted to be friends with me he said no, so i said well you said you don't love me so you don't want me as your partner or lover and he said i don't know. Then afterwards said he just wants his kids again. He has played with my emotions the whole time since last sept telling me he loves me then telling me he doesn't. I don't know what to believe anymore! One minute he tells me to move on and forget about him, the next minute he pulls me up for talking to another guy who is only a friend and accuses me of flirting with him because i liked his fb pic, the next minute he tells me he can't go me because i am asking him too many questions??!!! Is this honestly similar to what other women have been through? And for those men out there who have an addiction with coke, is this the behaviors that an addict would display? Have any of you men treated your partners in this way as he is accussing me of playing the victim card! Thanks x

by lc100

11 posts

Unsure of what to do by

Hi, I have been with my partner 10 years steadily though a year ago we nearly got divorced due to his debt of which he managed to take up nearly £40k I’m guessing over a year or two. He was very sketchy and tried to blame me for this, which is not true though his family believed him and paid the debt eventually. It has obviously caused issues with myself and his family. We have two girls together younger than 10. He has always had issues with money and paying the bills of which I normally have had to sub him and he pay when he can. I meet him when I was 18, I am now 34 and we dated a few years before I found out how bad his drug habit had become and he also dealt at the time, and lied twice about it. Though we got back together nearly 10 years ago and I thought that he had put that all behind him. Within a short period of time we had our first child. I have recently been informed that he went on a stag do and brought with him a huge amount of Cocaine of which he consumed a large amount of. It was my brother that told me, and did not go on the stag do as does not like the way my husband treats Me and did not want to get into it with him on a stag do so did not go. His friends who went though rang him up and told him how bad my husband was and how they are not surprised we have no money as he is obviously using a lot. I was completely oblivious to this until a few days ago. My husband has also had a fight with his work colleague over money and my husband actually text me claiming that his friend threatened to tell me about his drug use generally and cheating at the stag do which he states is all not true. Though obviously from my brother I know otherwise. He is lying to me daily telling me that he does not touch drugs and states if I believe his friend then there is a Huge problem. Now i know there is a Huge problem with us and I believe our problems last year were also related to his drug consumption. Though he will not tell me the truth. Completely at a lose as to what to do. I have ordered a hair follicle test though I know he will not consent. I do not know what to do anymore. Any advice would be useful, Thank u

by Z123

7 posts

addicted to co-codamol for 10 years by

I have been a Codeine addict for 10 years now but this is the first time I have evr written about it. My addtiction started when me and my friends started taking these for hangovers. We started off just taking 2 in the morning after a night out to taking 3 every weekend after a night out. At forst everything was ok and i was just doing it recreationally. The work beacame very stressfull. I found myself taking 3 to help me sleep every other night. Then i started to snowball. I was taking them every morning to cope with being in work. But i only had access to a limited amount. Sometimes if i couldnt take 30/500 co-codamol i would take about 10 x 8/500. Which was really dangerous and the moment i relaised i had a probelm. Things moved on in my life and I no longer had access to them and managed, not through my choice to stay off them. Evry now and again i would get access to 100 x 30/500 but these never lasted that long. Forst it was a week then it was a 4 or 5 days. Always i would run out and then i would be abck to normal. After about a year or so of this, I was fully off them. Then i had a back issue and i relapsed badly. I was taking Naproxen which is craop for dealing with pain. However i then discovered that you could buy 12.5/500 OTC at the pharmacy. This to this day is a big challeneg to know I can get acecss to codeine so easily. I then started buying codien online which is were my now troubles started. It started off just 100 x 30/500 twice a month. I realised that this was a problem and decicded to quit cold turkey. I was able to do this with the help of some diazapn to get me through the first couple of days. However once i had got over the first week i was clean. I felt great. Work was still stressful and my wife was expecting our first baby but i was clean and i was produ of myself. No depression, just the odd urge. Then my son was born which was a massive trigger for my relapse. It was a very stressful brith and my wife was in hospital for over two weeks. Sitting in a hsopital chair for 16 hours a day took its toll so i decided i would buy some OTC 12.5/500 to help me through it. I took 2 then i was taking 5 then it was up 6 ago. When my family was home i thought this is dangerous so decided to buy the real ones online. My addtiction has got way out of hand these last 6 months since bmy sons birth. I am taking 200 x 30/500 nearly every week. I mix it up between codine phospate to reduce the paracetemol amountgs but alos mix it with OTC tablets to make phosphae last longer. Its turned into a £500 a month habit. This is the first time I have ever spoken about it. I have decided that I am going to quit cold turkey. I have 220 tablets at my disposal. Its been 28 hours since my last codeine tablet. My back is sore and i have the odd urges. I also feel a bit down but taking all the vitamins to help witdrawl. My goal is to make it to tomorrow without taking anything. I am thinking of my baby and wife to help me through it. I wish i never set eyes on this drug. Its is the worst drug around and secretly is destroying so many lives. This is my first time I have ever addmnited any of this!!

by Chasb

4 posts

I need help! by

It all started after I had my daughter almost 3 years ago. I started having these really bad headaches that would last days on end and nothing I took helped so I asked my mum for 2 of her strong dihydrocodiene tablets and within an hour the headaches would completely disappear. After I got passed the feeling sick after taking them I started having these feelings of being happy which is why I kept taking them and telling my mum I had headaches just to get some off her. I started stealing them until she started noticing her stash was getting low so I found this prescribed medicine site and put my mums details in with my name and address just so I had my own stash. I’m now in 5 grands worth of debt and I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’m skint, I’ll never afford to buy my own house and anymore kids is completely off the cards until I have this under control. I can’t speak to anyone because I’m so embarrassed and annoyed that I’ve got myself in this situation. I’d like someone who I can talk to for support to finally be free of my addiction.

Alcoholic father, no help available by

My father is a chronic alcoholic. He suffered a major brain injury August 2017, lucky to be alive and able to function almost as well as before the injury. There were points where he couldn’t speak, feed himself, toilet, or even open his eyes! Has since carried on drinking, messing up the various medication he is on. He has been in and out of hospital but won’t accept any help. When he goes cold turkey it brings on his seizures, he ends up in hospital with limited movement and speech (like a stroke victim). The hospital discharge him. No one will offer him a detox programme. His gp will not see him if he’s not sober, and won’t make a house call. He was found on someone’s front lawn this morning. He was only half-dressed on someone’s drive the other afternoon. The emergency care team have told me there is nothing anyone can do if he won’t accept help, which he won’t. The only thing I was advised to do was call 111, or the paramedics - both of which I e find before! I d sat through the meetings and listened to their evaluations! Basically there’s nothing we can do until one of us find him dead! Thanks for that ‘Darren’. Any ideas on where to go from here - I am at a loss!

1 post