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Share Your Story

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New by

Hi there, well I'm new to this but thought I'd give it ago. My partner of 17 yrs relapsed sat so I left. I left last April but we got back over Xmas. There was no argument this time we kind of just new something's gotta give. He was on medication for so long that life went on & it was a hard relationship at times but there was love. I don't even no where to begin it's all such a mess. Since he went in detox it all went worse. I never realised how bad it was. He was skin & bone & I couldn't leave him & helped him. I suppose I didn't understand that this is a life long problem. He's letting me go this time & were heart broken but I no I need time out. I can't even be mad at him anymore because I no he can't help it. Anyway I've been told I probably need to get support so this is my first step suppose. He has started going to meeting but I'm to nervous. Interesting to see other peoples in similar situations.

I don't know what to do anymore by

Hello, i'm not really sure where to start. My boyfriend and I are together for a couple of years now. I always knew he was taking cocaine now and then plus he smoked weed daily. Now it's even worse, he started drinking heavily about a year ago, uses drugs and gambles. Since he lost his job 4 months back he can't see anything positive in his life anymore. He needs to drink first thing in the morning to gain some sort of confidence and get through the day. He treats me like a doormat, the abuse i am dealing with on a regular basis is just unreal, i've never felt so helpless in my life. Everything i do and try to help is not good enough, he is jealous because he confidence is just gone. He is very, very aggressive and even got arrested for the first time last weekend. I try to walk away to protect myself but after a week or so he'll always get's back in touch but when he does he tries to make me feel bad, hurts me by saying alot of nasty things and how it is my fault that the relationship doesn't work out anymore. I love him with all my heart but i feel like i am no good to him anymore. I am a mum, got 2 jobs, my life is normal let's say and i wished we could have a pretty normal life together but he doesn't want any help. I also think something really horrible and bad must have happen to him when he was young but he says he can't remember. There are so many raw emotions he want's to talk about but doesn't know how to so he numbs the pain. When we are together and it comes to sex, he is very aggressive, doesn't take no for an answer if there is anything i don't want him to do. I know deep down he is a good person, he is just lost and uses the alcohol and drugs first thing in the morning to escape. We are seperated again since a week now, it's so hard to walk away as i want him to get better but he seems like he is not ready. How much worse can it get though? I am scared of him sometimes as he can't control the anger anymore. I hope somebody can help me? By the way he is only 30 years of age and i am 36. Also apologies for my english spellings, i am German so i do try. Thank you all already, Jess

Hope by

Hi, this is my first time posting. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic, sober for almost 4 months. I am so very proud of him after spending years seeing him passed out on the sofa, unable to feed himself, hiding wine and vodka bottles all over the place, the lies, the deceit, the aggression, all the things that I am sure families and friends of any addict feel. For me, I am finding the recovery bit difficult. When he was drinking, I knew his pattern, knew what would come next. Now, I find I am constantly saying are you ok? Constantly looking for signs of drinking. But most difficult, I just don’t trust him after years of lies. I feel alone and at times bitter. He’s put us in this position yet he gets all the support. I thought life would be easier with a sober husband but at the moment, I am finding it tough. If anyone has any words of wisdom please share and I apologise if this is not the place for this but I don’t know where else to go

Going round in circles! by

My other half is an alcoholic. Every night after work he opens a can as soon as he gets home and can drink between 5 and 10 cans a night. We have 3 kids and it’s affecting our whole life. He’s never been violent or anything but spends every night drinking downstairs and falls asleep on the sofa while I’m up with our youngest every night since she’s been born. It’s affecting his job, he’s having time off more often. He’s leaving things on like an electric fire! Doors unlocked etc. I can’t wake him up in the mornings for work and to take our eldest to school. He can’t be bothered to go anywhere on a weekend just wants to stay at home all the time, which is miserable for us all. I want to end our relationship really but don’t want to ruin our family and make the kids lives more unhappy. ????

My boyfriend is addicted to cocain and I have no one to talk to by

This is all completely new to me and can honestly say this is a position I never thought I would ever be in in my life and I am at a point I don’t no where to turn . Me and my partner have been together a year or so and it was love instantly . I knew he did drugs occasionally on a night out but never ever thought t was a problem . I have never done drugs before so maybe I was naive to it who knows . Anyway the problem is so bad now that he’s doing it most days but will lie about it and refuse to answer the phone while I’m at work . He finishes work at around 1 so feels he has enough time before I’m home . He absolutely trashes the house as he gets so paranoid and if I’m around and he’s done it he will search my things and question me and it’s just awful . He’s admitted he has a problem and I started taking him to CA meetings and he was clean for 10 days but he started again about a month ago and is so bad again . I just called him and he’s high and I just don’t no what to do . I have no one to talk to as my family are very posh and would judge him and I love him so so much and his family are the same they don’t have a clue . I feel like if we move away from our home things could get better but he won’t . I just felt like I needed a ‘friend’ to talk to and thought I would seek that on here . I really hope to be able to help other people aswell by sharing our stories and helping each other . X

My son takes cocaine by

Even writing the title for this thread I cannot admit he is addicted to cocaine (which is easier to say than admit he is an addict). I have been denying this for years even though I have suspected. He is in his late thirties and has always said I’m being rediculous and I don’t know what I’m talking about whenever I’ve tried to talk to him about it. He refuses to discuss it and walks out if I mention it - then won’t call for several days - until he needs something - usually money. Not surprisingly he split up with his partner about six years ago and is still very bitter about it - she cheated on him and left for the other person, who she has since married. They have a little girl who is nine years old and they supposedly share custody approximately 40% of her time is with her daddy. They have a very close relationship but I do worry. I honestly do not know how to cope and get him to admit his problem. I just do not know how to handle this.

Help or hindering?? by

Hello, my boyfriend of 6 years (off and on) has been struggling with drug addiction mainly cocaine (occasionally marijuana) he hid it for a long time in which he would mask it with social events until it got to the point where he would create social events to use it. He goes through phases where he tries to quit in which he often chooses to do himself. However I have noticed a few patterns for example he is currently trying to go sober now it has been two weeks the patterns I have noticed is that his behaviour and attitude has become erratic and very out of character he is very positive which is promising (although it comes across like a different kind of high) but from previous experiences this leads him to believe that he is "cured" in which he begins to substitute with alcohol then he relapses I can already see this happening but he doesn't. I don't know how to talk to him about this as he thinks I am being negative whilst he is progressing it has put a strain on out relationship. I don't know how to support him without coming across like I don't believe in him and he is starting to push me away. I do not know if I am being unsupportive by being worried about his sudden change in mood as to the world and himself he is absolutely fine. I can not tell if I am holding him back and this is just who he is without drugs or if I am right to be worried. I feel awful for even questioning his positive behaviour and change I am just worried he is getting carried away and will end up crashing hard.

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6 posts

Husband addicted to cocaine by

Im completely new to this never thought I would end up here im in absolute despair, my husband is addicted to cocaine and it’s ruining our lives, we have been together 12 years and we have two small children he has always enjoyed drugs on a night out but over the past 2 years he has used more and more and is completely addicted. He wants to stop and started going to relapse prevention course but he lost his job due to a failed drugs test and took a new job working away through the week so he stopped going as he’s not here to attend. The last few weekends have been awful he comes home from work and disappears for a couple of hours to the ‘shop’ or his mates house and comes back high then he just can’t stop he finds any excuse to pop out as he knows he can’t have it here and he disappears for hours. Whenever he is high he gambles and he has lost ridiculous amounts of money we are struggling hugely financially and have had to borrow from his parents to keep our heads above water which has obviously not gone down well with them. He is always kind to me never abusive even when high if anything its me that gets so angry with him for doing it, he gets upset and says sorry and promises to stop but then it starts again. Found him in the garage having a line at 8am this morning and he’s never really stopped all day. Iv tried to keep arguments away from my beautiful children but it’s massively affecting our lives. I feel so down and depressed im avoiding seeing my friends as we have no money but also im so ashamed so its like a huge secret that im carrying around. I love him with all my heart hes my best friend and he does so much for our family I know he loves us all so much but this is taking over and im so scared it’s going to destroy our family:(

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9 posts