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replying to KJU

It's me again.... I'm so so lonely tonight..... My son that said he wants to give up is worse than ever.... He is so low and using on school nights and lieing that he is straight........ I'm so so desperate.... Please if anyone has some suggestions please please let me know...

replying to KJU

Hi to all the worried and lovely parents I've posted lots about my cocaine addict son. He's in prison I actually feel less worried about his safety and well being but it's his 30th birthday tomorrow and it's upsetting because he has nothing other than a few clothes in a bin bag cocaine has taken everything and when he is released he will have no were to go and no coat to were .devastating for a mum but I can't do anything more to help

replying to KJU

Hi KJU and Desperate,

I'm so very sad to read your posts and to understand how very hard it is for you to deal with your children's addictions.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust which is set up to offer support to people who are dealing with the addictions of a loved one, because we know how hard this is. If you feel that it would be helpful, please contact us and we will put you in touch with one of our trained experienced people who you could talk with.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you can find some help and support for yourselves.

All the best to you.

replying to KJU

Hey, I’m so sorry you are dealing with addiction, it is devastating isn’t it, my beautiful adorable 22 year old (button) is lost to the world of cocaine. It has devastated our family so I really feel your pain so much. As I have learned, until he is ready to quit there is nothing you can do. I hope you get your son back one day soon. It is a lonely place for a mum, I feel like such a failure as a parent but we have to tell ourselves this isn’t our fault. Sending you a hug x

replying to KJU

Thankyou for your reply...... I'm laying in bed unable to sleep after watching him come in stoned again...... This is a living nightmare. I miss my boy so much the pain and hurt is overwhelming. I have never felt so useless... My beautiful first born is unrecognisable.... The lies break my heart x

replying to KJU

Hi everyone. Don't give up on your children. Don't get angry with them, don't push them away. Bring them in a close as you can and show them how much you love them. They are not doing these things to hurt us, they are doing it because they are suffering.

Since I quit my job two weeks ago to spend more time with my son, we have become close again. He had gone to see a drug counsellor for cannabis addiction, twice now, he has worked on goals for the future and I have found him some work experience and a pathway to a possible apprenticeship, he opens up to me and shares his thoughts and understandings about the world. He still smokes a lot of weed but now he is able to talk about it more openly with me and he is in a process of evaluating how it is affecting his life.

We have to be there for our kids and support them in every way we can. We need to learn to listen. Take an interest in what they are interested in, their hopes and dreams for the future. We need to remind them who they really are and 100% be there for them.

Because nobody else will.

Access to this forum has been temporarily disabled for all users. If you are looking for immediate support, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.

We have temporarily closed this forum for maintenance and review.

Adfam exists to provide support for, and improve the lives of, families affected by substance use, and we have found that in recent months the balance of posts has shifted to focus on users’ personal issues with substances and addiction. While we recognise that these are issues that deserve support, the high volume of posts had become unmanageable for our small team, and was preventing us from facilitating support for families. We have closed the forum to re-evaluate, and we will be re-launching as soon as possible with a renewed focus on family support. From that point on, we will not be facilitating any conversation regarding individuals’ own substance use.

If you are looking for support for your own substance use, there are other community-based forums online, such as at www.reddit.com/r/drugs and www.reddit.com/r/alcohol.

If you are affected by a loved one’s drug or alcohol use, and you are looking for support, you can find local services and recommended helplines on our Search for local support page.

If you have any queries, comments, or suggestions for our relaunched forum please do get in touch: forum@admin.org.uk