: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

8 replies

My brother won’t admit he’s still using


I desperately want to help my brother out of the cocaine hell he is in.

He admited to using heavily, earlier this year, after a lot of money went missing.

He now insists he is not using but other things have gone missing, and even though he works full-time he never has any money. I know he has not pulled himself out of a habit that saw him using as soon as he woke up to suddenly being drug free.

I offered to pay for him to go to rehab, have asked if I can book doctors/counselling for him but he insists he doesn’t have a problem.

How can I get him help? How can I get him to stop lying? Any advice would be so gratefully received.

replying to Lolaleigh

Hi I know what you are going through my partner has been addicted to cocaine for about 4 years he has admitted that he has a problem and is now trying to get clean but it's still a struggle. Your son won't get help until he realises he has an addiction and needs help. I can't really give advice but try to get out and find things for you as it's good to get some relief from whats going on. Try not to give him money which I know is hard when they are begging. I hope your son realises that he has a problem and gets the help he needs

replying to Lolaleigh

Deedee, thank you for replying. He’s my brother, mum has stopped giving him money, but he’s selling things (that don’t belong to him) and spending all his wages.

He’s the sweetest funniest bloke ever but he locks himself away and doesn’t interact with anyone or see his friends. It’s his unhappiness that breaks me more than the drugs (if that even makes sense).

I wish he’d just admit it and get help! I feel like I could help fix him if he just admits it but he won’t. It’s infuriating and devastating at the same time.

I love him so much.

Sorry for just blurting it all out to you.

Wishing you all the very best in your struggles with your partner and I hope you are taking care of yourself and that he figures it out eventually xx

replying to Lolaleigh

Hi Lolaleigh, I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s the hardest thing to watch and yes it’s hearbreaking that they are so unhappy to need to do this to themselves. I am currently trying to get my son to go to rehab again but he is still against it despite his life not being able to sink any lower. Your brother is lucky to have you and he knows that you’re there when he’s ready to accept help. Good luck and stay strong . You’re not on your own x

replying to Lolaleigh

Thank you Paula and wishing you all the best - I really hope your Son accepts help xx

replying to Lolaleigh

Hi Lolaleigh,

So sorry to read about your brother and hope that he is able to accept that he needs some help soon.

If you would like some support for yourself you might like to contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support for people , like you, who are dealing with the impact of a family member's addiction. We have trained, experienced people who you could talk with that might be helpful for you.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

Good luck with everything.

replying to Lolaleigh

I am so sorry this is your story, I do know until they are ready to admit there is a problem, they won’t commit to any help. Our 22 year had a cocaine addiction and has finally agreed to go to cocaine anon. We are really hoping this helps him start his recovery journey. I don’t know what to do or what advice to give you so instead I am sending a hug x x

replying to Lolaleigh

Thank you for your support - hoping your son continues his recovery journey and sending hugs back xx

I will let my mum know about Icarus too x

replying to Lolaleigh

I hope it really helps both you and your mum Lolaleigh.

Good luck.

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