I am new to this forum. My partner drinks heavily and uses cocaine weekly (mostly weekends only) . He has done so for our entire relationship of 4 years and probably for a couple of years before that too.
We are reaching the stage where we are ready to buy a house, have children and settle down. But i do not want to have children with him until he has proved that he can either control his alcohol and cocaine use, or has stopped completely. The biggest problem with his use is that he will 'pop out' for 'half an hour' and not come home until the following day, there will be no communication in this time, leaving me to worry that something bad has happened to him.
When we discuss this issue, he says that he has a drug problem and he cannot control himself or stop himself from taking cocaine once he has had a drink. I cannot relate to this at all and i cant help but think that this is his denial of self control and personal responsibility. Especially as he doesnt do it during the week (and surely he would if he had a drug problem?). .. Am i being unfair? Might he have a genuine drug problem? Or is he just using 'i have a problem' as an excuse?
I know its impossible to answer this question but if anyone has had a similar experience please get in touch.