You can hear how much you want this, I find it hard to understand myself as I havent ever been addicted to it.
He quit drinking as it led to doing cocaine, but he also relapses every 3/4 weeks, his support group says its an anxiety build up, today is the 3rd week since he last did it and I am so anxious about it all, I have told him this and he tells me not to worry, but I cant help it.
Its not even an argument with him, he will say he is popping out and then I will get a phone call saying " I am at so and sos and I need to make a confession" he does tell me right away but when i shout and stuff it makes him worse and he self destructs.
You need a good counsellor, I know it costs.. google Bradley Ridell. Apparently hes amazing.
I feel like I cant live with the anxiety, its heartbreaking.. even reading your messages makes me teary as deep down I know this is probably what he feels like, but he wont admit it to me.