: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

replying to Danman83

You can hear how much you want this, I find it hard to understand myself as I havent ever been addicted to it.

He quit drinking as it led to doing cocaine, but he also relapses every 3/4 weeks, his support group says its an anxiety build up, today is the 3rd week since he last did it and I am so anxious about it all, I have told him this and he tells me not to worry, but I cant help it.

Its not even an argument with him, he will say he is popping out and then I will get a phone call saying " I am at so and sos and I need to make a confession" he does tell me right away but when i shout and stuff it makes him worse and he self destructs.

You need a good counsellor, I know it costs.. google Bradley Ridell. Apparently hes amazing.

I feel like I cant live with the anxiety, its heartbreaking.. even reading your messages makes me teary as deep down I know this is probably what he feels like, but he wont admit it to me.

1 reply

replying to Danman83

Ill defo have a look at him..thanks.. and thats exactly what i do.. i go bed and tell her am sorry ive done that again.. then im in bed trying to sleep, when i no i cant! And my head has a million thoughts going through it.. nothing positive all negative.. then i feel like crying.. and its that again...why have i had it again?? Ive accepted its an addiction now. Them 12 step groups are suppose to be good.. but my opinion i dont think you just need a councillor. I had 1 when i went to get help.. 8 sessions i had it was ok. I stopped for 3 month.. then i thought i was ok and bam.. got 1 watching boxing on a night out ... i hate to admit it, but now no matter how long its been. I cant drink again really. As i will get that. Ive just bought russell brands book on addiction and he has some good videos on you tube.

Tell him on the 3rd week or 4th.. hes not going out and you want spend time with him. To take his mind of it. So does he have it with out having alcohol then??

replying to Danman83

hes gone from drinking only, to cocaine only - its like a stimulant addiction. He cant not go without it. Hes definitely a bit in-denial, we are week 3 in and my anxiety is awful, he does stay in and dont actually go out out anymore but he pops out and he will bump into someone who will offer it to him and thats it, he cant say no.

Last time, he sniffed a couple of lines while I was at work someone offered it to him, and he came home and had an awful comedown and blamed me for making him feel worse for shouting at him, then his mental health is fucked, he cries etc and i am expected to cuddle him when I need supporting!

I am still young, starting my adult life.. do i really want this, thats the thing. I cant see no end!

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replying to Danman83

I dont know many people that just do cocaine only, unless they sell it. Not saying he does thats just people i know.

Wheres he going tho to people offer it to him? Thats what thing you cant do go places were it is or you have picked up from, like car park on asda.. they are called trigger points.. so you avoid certain places so you dont remember picking up and then you want some.

I take it your only 26? Have you any kids? Or own own a house together?

Them come downs are the worse thing ever. And its only our fault no one elses. My mums on edge now after i asked her for help. And shes texing me all the time which is great. My gf says just stop dan its not hard. Sometimes i think she wants me to fuk up. But im doing this for me and no one else. I think personnally you need to give him an ultimatum , you get help.. you dont go out of the house to were u bump in to people, u delete every dick out of your phone associated with coke. And you change your life and routine. In the long run he will feel great. But u have take each day as it comes. Were abouts are you from?

replying to Danman83

Sorry about my typing im from bolton and type how we speak and miss out certain words lol

replying to Danman83

Yeah he used to do that, so was surrounded all the time. He is surrounded by absolute idiots, it seems to be when his anxiety spikes he looks for a release.

He relapsed last night, its so odd my gut was telling me all day yesterday, hence me writing on here. He took himself to the pub and drank, then called me to admit it, then his friend come to ours to 'get a tool' and he went out come back and i KNEW he had sniffed cocaine. Why did he do that? after being so sorry about drinking again? he then went outside and sniffed cocaine?

Were from the South, near Kent.

Yes 26, no no kids, but live together.. I wanted to settle down now and how can i possibly? he said he wants to start a family to give him purpose again - he has 2 kids he doesnt get to see, its sad really.

He is seeing a therapist tonight, he does want this so much but it keeps getting him. Do you have anxiety? He does need to delete every twat out of his phone youre right.

replying to Danman83

He does need delete them.. and just spend time with you for 3 month just to get his head straight..are you paying for the therapist? And bollox his friend was getting a tool lol he prob was coming down and wanted another key or line.

And yes i have anxiety.. sometime i stutter, and find it hard get my words out to certain people. I hate speaking on the phone and going certain places. And it makes me worse now when on coke. And i aint no scroat or out i work for the bank. It knocks your confidence. And can take 3 -5 days before you feel ok from the coke at the weekend. Then your having again at the weekend. And its one big vicious circle. Ive oredered about 5 books this week to change my life a round. And try something different. Im going to reward my self each month for not having it. This month is a meal with my gf and kids.

tell him the money he puts up his nose give it u to save up.. and go new york or summat.. something to focus on. Now hes realised. He should be doing everything poss to stop.. like im doing. He needs to do it for himself.. then the rest will fall into place. Sorry for going on lol

replying to Danman83

ha the way you speak half made me smile today, thank you for all your advice, i really wish you the best... he is paying, he wants to pay, he cried he wants help. Its such a terrible thing addiction. Going to make him download that app you said about. its all about removing himself from those type of environments I guess and get the therapy for his anxiety

replying to Danman83

Sure is.. ive done a shit load of daft things and wish i could go back and change it. Tell him get his ass in gear and take you on a shopping spree and a nice hol after all the shit he has put you through. If u ever need any help or out just ask. Can give u my email or summat. Have a good weekend mate

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