After fourteen wonderful years of marriage my loving, hardworking husband has decided he is a different person. It is like someone has invaded his body and mind. Everything that he has held close, my mum our pets and myself are excluded from his life. The only ones remaining are the family and friends that partake in the alcohol and cocaine lifestyle. What was a once or twice a year line of coke has now become a three times a week habit. He stays out all night, comes back smelling of alcohol and high, sleeps for a few hours then throws up all day. He has a constant runny nose and always complains he has a cold or he must have flu. He doesn't lie about the cocaine use but does about the amount he's taking. To witness this happening to my husband is truly heartbreaking and I cannot fight against this addiction. I am now suffering myself from anxiety, panic attacks and sleepless nights. I feel utterly helpless.
Hox am going through simular thing.but i have it once a month.but it went worse in november and december. But now my gf will leave me if i have it again. So i am doing my very best not to have it.
Does he drink every time he has coke? Alcohol makes me want to get coke.
And the main thing is he has to want to quit it.. does he want to quit it?
Hi Hox, my partner uses coke now n again n for a while I just accepted it as a normal part of life as other parts of our relationship were so good n I just kinda compared it to someone having a drink for a buzz (allthough obviously not a legal buzz). It seems however to be gradually taking over. He seems to hav a lack of interest in anything else n allthough makes the effort to spend small pockets of time with me still I feel he's dying to 'get it out of the way' like hes trying to appease me first so he can 'escape' to go and chase something more exciting. My self esteem is lowering n we seem to be constantly arguing. Im not sure where to turn either so sorry if this isnt much help but I guess I understand how you feel.
Don't lose your girlfriend and become a different person. I wish I had seen the signs so that I could have given him an ultimatum when he was 'himself' as he would have done anything for me then. I saw none, he hid it well.
He drinks every time he has coke.
He doesn't think he has a problem as he has previously told me that coke does nothing for him. I cannot understand how he does not know that coke is the reason why he has changed as a person. Why do you take it if it does nothing for you? I'm at a loss.
I accepted it too , not as a normal part of life but as a thing that his friends and some of his family do when on a night out or a night in at the home of some of his friends. I thought it was harmless to him like you say just a buzz.
My husband won't spend any time with me. He ignores me as much as he possibly can. and can't even look me in the eye. He too has no interest in anything that he previously did.
Before this change we honestly did not argue our lives to us were perfect. We rubbed along well, each of us easy going.
I appreciate you telling me as I have felt so alone and isolated throughout this. It does help. Have you told him to stop taking the coke for the sake of you both?
Thank you Hox for your reply. I also feel very alone. I havent told him to stop as Im not sure he can without help. Im also not sure at this stage that he wants to or will choose me over the coke and I know it might sound weak but im not ready to end things with him yet. Im just trying to think of some conditions at the moment that I put to him to protect myself and see if things improve. I was thinking of telling him to go for help or move out. My gut is at the moment though that he doesnt see his lifestyle as a problem. Hes sees my view of it as the problem and I might have to come to terms with the fact we dont want the same things from life. I guess I feel lucky that I do have good freinds around me but I havent had the courage to be honest with them about it yet x
I wouldn't be chosen, the coke would win hands down. I don't think either of us is weak fighting for our loved ones but I would rather my husband be under the same roof because I am worried that he will overdose. Will anyone else look out for him I think not. He could die on someones sofa or crash his car, I'm dreading that knock on the door.
I think we will know when the time is right to be truthful with friends and family.
Its strange as Ive never worried too much about him overdosing, n Im not sure why. I think its more his behaviour changes , unpredictable moods n mental health which effect me the most. I dont often see him vomiting like you described n maybe if I did I would worry more about his physical health n find it harder to think about asking him to leave. My partner does still have his own room in a shared house but spends most of his time at mine as we were working towards living together properly as soon as my son moved out but at the minute I dont think its a good idea.
Well it does do something... it gives u a buzz for 20 min.. and its soo addictive. Ive not had it this year. And i dont want lose my fam.so im so determined to stop. He really needs to admit he has a problem and wants to quit.. ive been having it once a month may be 2 times a month and never thought i was addicted. But from what ive researched.. i am. And ive accepted it and now am fixing it.. you or your hubby need to you tube louise clarke and watch her videos on cocaine addiction. And how to stop.. and how it work. It will help so much.. but in the end if he doesnt admit he has a problem.. he doesnt want to quit.. and hes only thinking of number 1.. maybe you shold too!!!
And to be honest 3 times is alot..i learned from that louise clarke video today who is an expert.. if you have been taking coke for over 6 month.. you are addicted! Doesnt matter if its once a month. You are addicted.