No, he's not seeing anyone else, he cannot look after what he's got never mind have someone else. He does do all kinds of stupid stuff though. His new relationship is the cocaine and alcohol, its a full time role.
Well thats what ive learned off that you tube video.. u have to treat your addiction as a partnership. And its like some violent partner and you have to leave it. And keep telling your self i dont want it again or him again.. its all mentally. I really do hope u sort it. Be a shame to lose 14 good years. It looks like something bad will have to happen before he stops.
Me too, knowing others understand helps me too. I explain things to friends and family and they think I am over reacting as they dont know the extent of it all, his own Mum doesnt think he has a problem, she thinks he is doing it as a stress reliever and in affect I think so too but I also think he cant not, as soon as he has 1 drink thats it, there is 0 control. No matter what I say whether it be me threatening to leave etc he doesn't care, the alcohol and cocaine comes first and that says a lot.
Just know its not you, nothing youve done. Addiction is the hardest thing to understand when you arent an addict yourself. I am thinking of going to a support group or something , ive emailed the charity firstname.lastname@example.org
I wish I had the answers.. youre right cocaine is everywhere you turn these days, its so frustrating. I am not a drinker or drug taker myself, I dont get why youd want to make yourself feel that horrendous AND pay for it.
My husband gets such bad mental health problems after drinking (the days after) he feels suicidal.. yet he cant help himself and relapses.
Being 27, wanting to start a family etc, its so difficult as everyone says run a mile, but I love him so much.. but I feel like its going to get worse.
I saw that hes also been through a tough time like my husband, maybe that was the trigger? mine went through an awful divorce and didnt see his children for almost 2yrs which really hurt him. He blames that trauma for turning to drugs/alcohol, its only once a month now but too much of a risk for me.
He has a problem but only admits it when it suits him..
Is your husband willing to go to the doctors and get help? gosh, I dont know how you deal with it, do you have a family?
When he goes out on one, what do you do? this is where I struggle, as I get angry and lose my temper and it makes him even worse and he drinks even more, he says me getting angry with him does the opposite and I should support him.
I feel like I am fighting a battle constantly with this, I am 27 and my life is on hold as I cannot risk having children with him, he is 32..... my mum says I should run a mile now but its so hard :(
Hi Georgia, one of hardest things Ive found is being scared of what other people think which means I constantly cover things up n pretend alls ok which stops u getting the help u need.
Cos I still work in services supporting people Ive always felt afraid to access services myself in case people judge us n think Im not capable of doin my job or summit.
Stigma around drugs does exist n you cant deny it,
But I wouldnt beleive someone else wasnt capable of think less of them if they were having problems so think its time for me to bite the bullet n contact local support myself.
I hope you manage to get some support too through this.
This forum has been a great start for me this week and I really appreciate it x
My husband says he hasn't got a problem. He wants to take it.
I do have family but I keep it away from them. It's really hard trying to keep it from them as he was always a family man, joining in and helping everyone out. Now he is the invisible man. He only wants to be with those who have the same 'hobby'
I get angry too and have lost my temper, one thing I have never done in our relationship. I'm not myself anymore.
Something bad will have to happen for him to realise he has a problem.
My husband relapsed tonight, 2 weeks in. I’m devastated.
I'm sorry to hear this devastating news, sorry for both of you. I haven't even got to this stage yet and don't know if I ever will.
Sorry about that mate..but its a wednesday night. What the hell is he getting it on wed for.. mines just weekend really. And i admit i have a problem. But tonight , he must be bad am afraid to say. Has he been pub or out? Or has he just got some and having it in the house??
If you are not yourself.. forget him you have tried your best.. he doesnt want to get help..so go let your hair down go out with your mates.. treat your self to a spa or some nice clothes.. hes putting the money up his nose. So u need something to make you happy. He will soon realise
Access to this forum has been temporarily disabled for all users. If you are looking for immediate support, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.
We have temporarily closed this forum for maintenance and review.
Adfam exists to provide support for, and improve the lives of, families affected by substance use, and we have found that in recent months the balance of posts has shifted to focus on users’ personal issues with substances and addiction. While we recognise that these are issues that deserve support, the high volume of posts had become unmanageable for our small team, and was preventing us from facilitating support for families. We have closed the forum to re-evaluate, and we will be re-launching as soon as possible with a renewed focus on family support. From that point on, we will not be facilitating any conversation regarding individuals’ own substance use.
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